How to commemorate a sad day but to also make it special

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   ladyp03posted 14 years ago

   In April of 2001, I gave birth to twin girls (Isabella and Maya) and sadly, they died (I was only 23 weeks along and knew they wouldn't survive).  After they were born, I held them both in the palms of my hand until they passed away.  They say time heals all wounds - and it does - but I think of them everyday!
   
   Finally, in 2003, I had another baby girl, Megan.  I have always been upfront and honest about her sisters and to this day, she talks about them, we visit their grave site and she includes them in her family tree at school.  She is so sweet when we visit the grave: we sit down and she starts out 'Hi girls, wait til you hear what Mommy did the other day...'
   
   Ok, so I could go on and on.  The reason for writing is that the girls' 10 year anniversary is coming up at the end of April and I want to do something special with Meg but I don't know what.  I was thinking of having Meg write a letter/birthday card to them, have a picnic (weather permitting) or just do some kind of remembrance.  Does anyone have any idea's?  This is only February so we've got some time.  When I purchased their gravesite back in 2006, we had a mini service at the gravesite with my whole family, let balloons go and had a nice dinner afterwards.
   
   Thanks for whatever help/suggestions you can offer!

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe you know this already, but if you go to the March of Dimes website for premature babies, there's a way you can create a virtual bracelet (either for living premies struggling to survive, or in memorial of premies who couldn't survive).     
      
      Planting a new tree in their name/honor is something people sometimes do.
      
      Maybe you could get  two little charms (one for you/one for your daughter) (they wouldn't have to be expensive) with, maybe, the babies' initials on them.   Your daughter wouldn't necessarily have to wear them.   She could just have it to keep.  Or, maybe a small, pretty, picture frame with the babies' names on them (for you, or for somewhere in the house); but with a picture of just the right kind of flowers (maybe) in it.   
      
      There are lots of sites online for parents of premies who couldn't survive.  Maybe some people on one of them has some ideas.
      
      If you haven't already done this (I haven't looked to see if you have), you could write a Hub (or a few Hubs) related to your babies, or to your experience - and dedicate the Hub(s) to them.

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         ladyp03posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Lisa,
         Thank you so much for all of your wonderful suggestions!  I was actually thinking about maybe a charm bracelet for her but one that she can make larger as she gets bigger.  I know no matter what I do, it will be special to us!  I've never gone on the MOD website but I will go there to see about the bracelet.

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2. 60

   carolegalassiposted 14 years ago

   How about some plantable cards in which you can plant some wildflowers in their memory. There are some memorial plantable cards available in a variety of shapes at The Funeral Program Site, if you want to see them.
   
   These shapes which are made out of plantable seed paper can be planted anywhere, in the ground or in a pot indoors. They will soon yield wildflowers year after year. What a great way to commemorate the memory of a your twins and have your daughter help in the planting. Then when the flowers bloom every year (maybe on the anniversary of the twins death), it will be a wonderful reminder of their lives.

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