Why do we insist on blaming others for the way we feel?

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (4 posts)
  1. kynthia2374 profile image65
    kynthia2374posted 7 years ago

    Why do we insist on blaming others for the way we feel?

    Reason would dictate that we are in control of our own thoughts and emotions.  Why then do some blame others for how they are feeling at any given moment.  For example, "They made me so mad!" or "I can believe you are making me feel this way..."

    My theory is that it is not us at all but rather our ego that  likes to take on the roll of the victim instead of taking responsibility for the feelings, therefore, never fully identifying with the underlying reason for the behavior in the first place.


  2. Alecia Murphy profile image85
    Alecia Murphyposted 7 years ago

    I think sometimes there are instances where others are too blame, namely bullying and abuse. However, in instances of general conversation and debate, you have to dish it and take it. This is especially evident in politics where some politicians only play the blame game and it affects their effectiveness to legislate. Our thoughts and emotions are our own and we have to determine whether or not to submit to them or to be in control and move on. Sometimes it is hard because you want to feel innocent enough to wallow in your emotions even if they aren't right. Facing the truth is one of the hardest things to do and doing it is a sign of emotional intelligence and maturity that takes nearly a lifetime to cultivate and maintain.

  3. Cyndi10 profile image85
    Cyndi10posted 7 years ago

    I think we blame others as a lazy way of dealing with the world and others in it. You are right, if you don't own up to what you are feeling, the way you are reacting to a situation, then you will not grow emotionally. We don't seem to have any difficulty with positive emotions, but those that are negative, we are quick to shift to someone else. I do agree with Alecia and there are times when hurtful words are actions are the cause of a reaction and those individuals that are causing it should be blamed, something that victims sometimes fail to do, even though that is the appropriate time to blame someone else. Barring the abuse or bullying scenario, if we acknowledged ownership of our feelings and examined the origins, we would be mentally healthier. And that's not easy.

  4. profile image0
    jasper420posted 7 years ago

    I think your theory is both insightfull and correct its eaiser to blame someone esle rather than to take responsabilty for our own feelings self awarness is important it keeps our ego in check so that way we wont make this mistake and when we do its important for us to learn from it and not judge ourselves for it we are all inperfect and thats okay whats not okay is to build restentment upon this because it eats like a cancer and ruins our relashoships with others as well as woth ourselves


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)