Why do we insist on blaming others for the way we feel?

1. 59

   kynthia2374posted 13 years ago

   Why do we insist on blaming others for the way we feel?
   
   Reason would dictate that we are in control of our own thoughts and emotions.  Why then do some blame others for how they are feeling at any given moment.  For example, "They made me so mad!" or "I can believe you are making me feel this way..."
   
   My theory is that it is not us at all but rather our ego that  likes to take on the roll of the victim instead of taking responsibility for the feelings, therefore, never fully identifying with the underlying reason for the behavior in the first place.
   
   Thoughts?

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2. 68

   Alecia Murphyposted 13 years ago

   I think sometimes there are instances where others are too blame, namely bullying and abuse. However, in instances of general conversation and debate, you have to dish it and take it. This is especially evident in politics where some politicians only play the blame game and it affects their effectiveness to legislate. Our thoughts and emotions are our own and we have to determine whether or not to submit to them or to be in control and move on. Sometimes it is hard because you want to feel innocent enough to wallow in your emotions even if they aren't right. Facing the truth is one of the hardest things to do and doing it is a sign of emotional intelligence and maturity that takes nearly a lifetime to cultivate and maintain.

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3. 94

   Cyndi10posted 13 years ago

   I think we blame others as a lazy way of dealing with the world and others in it. You are right, if you don't own up to what you are feeling, the way you are reacting to a situation, then you will not grow emotionally. We don't seem to have any difficulty with positive emotions, but those that are negative, we are quick to shift to someone else. I do agree with Alecia and there are times when hurtful words are actions are the cause of a reaction and those individuals that are causing it should be blamed, something that victims sometimes fail to do, even though that is the appropriate time to blame someone else. Barring the abuse or bullying scenario, if we acknowledged ownership of our feelings and examined the origins, we would be mentally healthier. And that's not easy.

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4. 0

   jasper420posted 13 years ago

   I think your theory is both insightfull and correct its eaiser to blame someone esle rather than to take responsabilty for our own feelings self awarness is important it keeps our ego in check so that way we wont make this mistake and when we do its important for us to learn from it and not judge ourselves for it we are all inperfect and thats okay whats not okay is to build restentment upon this because it eats like a cancer and ruins our relashoships with others as well as woth ourselves

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