Why do old people get stubborn?

1. 60

   albertovichposted 13 years ago

   Why do old people get stubborn?
   
   I'm having a hard time understanding and/or accepting my father in laws comments...what gives?Is he senile?

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2. 61

   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   More info. needed.  What is he saying, is it directed at you.  Is that his personality type with everyone - or just you/  So many things need to be answered.  But if he gives you a hard time - it is your spouse's responsibility to tell the father to back off.  No one should let a spouse be verbally abused.

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3. 61

   womenintouchposted 13 years ago

   You know how a baby is fussy when they want something, that is the same way an elderly person is . Often they do not want to say they are in need , and they do not like to be treated like they are old.
   
   My father-in-law is 91 he is in no condition to care for himself, but he does not want to lose his dignity in the care of others. Honestly he has not choice since he can't walk without falling. He is not physically well but he is sharpe as can be in the mind.
   
   So when they feel like they are losing the respect or dignity they had they get fussy. Just hang in there and keep loving on them and do not take the fussyness so serious it is not directly aimed toward you., shake it off and keep on loving

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4. 76

   Seeker7posted 13 years ago

   If he's only being stubborn there's no reason to believe that he's senile. He's an elderly guy who finds comfort and security in his own routines and opinions - and perhaps he is right? Being stubborn can also be an elderly person's way of tellng folks to get out of their space and let them live their life their way. Now I'm not saying that this is easy, in fact it's very difficult - I've looked after elderly people for 25 years and I'm also caring for my elderly Dad at the moment - so I know how difficult and frustrating it can be and not just with being 'stubborn'. It can be hard, but try seeing any conflict or non-sensical opinions from your father-in-laws perspective. He might be elderly, but he has many more years of life experience than either me or you and he's worth listening to.
   
   Having said all this one thing that you don't have to tolerate is either verbal abuse or aggression - no matter what age they are. If he genuinely has elderly senility then the verbal and physical aggression usually comes from fear and they really can't help their behaviour. But I'm taking it that he does not have any problems with his mind so if he is abusive you need to be firm with him and say that his behaviour is unacceptable. But while all this is going on with you, where is your wife in all this?

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5. 59

   danstantonposted 12 years ago

   Well Sir, I think you need to understand a little more about getting older and the mindset of the generation you are dealing with. I liken the aging process to the loss of your comfort zone. I work with seniors everyday, and they can become cranky. I am guessing not unlike when your favorite band from your youth became classic rock. As far as senile dementia, it is hard to tell without more information. Dementia is a collection of at least two symptoms, with one of them being memory loss, stubborn not so much. Also you should know that dementia and depression are not normal parts of aging.
   
   I would give a little space to see if the "problem" comes to the surface. If you were to feel that there are signs of dementia or depression, seek professional help. Last remember that you are still the child, or married to the child, and children are to be seen and not heard. That's that generational thing again.
   
   Good luck.

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