Why is having a Chronic Illness so hard? Why is family members so mean about it?

1. 59

   Deborah Brooksposted 13 years ago

   Why is having a Chronic Illness so hard? Why is family members so mean about it?
   
   Why is dealing with Chronic Illness so hard and then you have family members that don’t help and hurt you instead? Why are they so mean?
   
   

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2. 59

   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   Sometimes it seems that many people are incapable of putting themselves in someone else's shoes and it is terribly sad. Unfortunately, they just add to the guilt we already feel at not being able to keep up and take care of the things we once did.
   
   I have no idea why people are so cruel at times.

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3. 60

   beagrsvposted 13 years ago

   I really believe there are many answers to this question and they all depend on the family members AND you.
   What Duffsmom made reference to is true some people simply cannot put themselves in others shoes.
   But they may also be jealous, worried, tired of someone who has a valid reason to complain...complaining about their trials, etc,.
   I recently had a family member tell me in no uncertain terms not the use the word "disabled" around them when speaking about myself.
   I feel your pain, I really do. But please take a step back and see if there is anything you may doing that could be adding the problem. I'm not implying that you are. I'm just saying...
   And sometimes confronting them in a civil and curious manner may get you the answer you seek. You never know until you ask.
   Actually I think I'll make my hub for the day one that tries to better answer your question as I have much experience on the matter.
   I wish you the very best and pray you find relief from your pain and recieve the love you deserve not the sneers of the unknown.
   God Bless

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4. 82

   Mekenzieposted 13 years ago

   Hello Deborah,  Thought provoking question you raise.  So many people judge and view life according to their own experiences.  So, if they have never been chronically ill. .. they reason .. then your illness must not be real.  It's the old buck up and get over it mentality.   They have no clue what it feels like to be in your skin. 
   
   To be so short sighted is to be very shallow and judgmental.  Instead of thanking God they do not suffer from chronic illness, they look down on people who deserve compassion and need support.  There are those who have never suffered from chronic illness yet have a heart of compassion.  They understand that not everyone has the gift of health.
   
   The truth is that it is difficult for anyone to really know what you experience:   “You never really know a person until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”  Harper Lee. 
   
   I hope you have people in your life who support and love you.  My opinion is to keep your pain to yourself when around those who do not understand.  Why open yourself up to their cold judgement?

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