What techniques do you use to forget bad thoughts or experiences that linger in your memory?
It could be a breakup, divorce, jealousy or hurt or any experience that won't go away.
I reinvent them. I revisualize the hurtful event in a different way. I can speed the action up or slow it down, make it a cartoon, change the voices, change the colors. Here is an actual example. An ex boyfriend of mine, during a breakup, told me I had a flabby derrierre (in fewer, far less elegant terms). The words burned in my brain for years.
I read a self help book, don't remember which, that suggested reinventing the memory. Playing the scene again in your mind, over and over. In this instance I gave him a tiny body and a huge head, I made him green and I gave him a high-pitched, nasally, whiny voice. I played with that for a while. I ran it forwards, I imagined the scene backwards. Every time I "replayed" it, I replaced hurt with humor and diminished the importance the event had in my life.
I am happy to report that 13 years later, I am happily married, to a man who loves my derriere (ehem!), and I find it amusing that I ever attached the emotional importance that event held over me. That's not the only time I've used this technique; work conversations that went poorly, time I felt I underachieved.
On a broader level, as I've gotten older, I've found that what I focus on really determines my level of joy so I choose to focus the wonderful things in my life that I am grateful for. It is hard to be hurt when you are focused on the loving people in your life.
I accept what I did wrong, and focus on what Is ahead. I mentally prepare myself to keep going down the road, and soon, i forget it.
when you want to ignore some things from the past, the best way is to not keep your mind idle and keep it occupied with work and hobbies.
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