What techniques do you use to forget bad thoughts or experiences that linger in

1. 76

   brakel2posted 9 years ago

   What techniques do you use to forget bad thoughts or experiences that linger in your memory?
   
   It could be a breakup, divorce, jealousy or hurt or any experience that won't go away.

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2. 67

   susiebrown48posted 9 years ago

   I reinvent them. I revisualize the hurtful event in a different way.  I can speed the action up or slow it down, make it a cartoon, change the voices, change the colors.  Here is an actual example.  An ex boyfriend of mine, during a breakup, told me I had a flabby derrierre (in fewer, far less elegant terms).  The words burned in my brain for years.
   
   I read a self help book, don't remember which, that suggested reinventing the memory.  Playing the scene again in your mind, over and over. In this instance I gave him a tiny body and a huge head, I made him green and I gave him a high-pitched, nasally, whiny voice.  I played with that for a while. I ran it forwards, I imagined the scene backwards.  Every time I "replayed" it, I replaced hurt with humor and diminished the importance the event had in my life. 
   
   I am happy to report that 13 years later, I am happily married, to a man who loves my derriere (ehem!), and I find it amusing that I ever attached the emotional importance that event held over me.  That's not the only time I've used this technique; work conversations that went poorly, time I felt I underachieved. 
   
   On a broader level, as I've gotten older, I've found that what I focus on really determines my level of joy so I choose to focus the wonderful things in my life that I am grateful for.  It is hard to be hurt when you are focused on the loving people in your life.
   Warmest regards,
   Susie Adriance

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   1. 76

      brakel2posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Your method is outstanding and uses humor, a great stress reliever.  Great answer!

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3. 65

   TNT Huskyposted 9 years ago

   I accept what I did wrong, and focus on what Is ahead. I mentally prepare myself to keep going down the road, and soon, i forget it.

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4. 60

   maverickmonkposted 9 years ago

   when you want to ignore some things from the past, the best way is to not keep your mind idle and keep it occupied with work and hobbies.

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