How can one overcome bitterness?

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  1. adeyera profile image59
    adeyeraposted 13 years ago

    Can someone tell me how to overcome bitterness?

    1. blbhhdcn profile image61
      blbhhdcnposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      By becoming a loving person, by denying self. By Loving God and becoming a new person inside. By believing in HIM to take away your bitterness. We have hope in God inspite of this world's emptiness.

      1. Woman Of Courage profile image60
        Woman Of Courageposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Hi adeyera, Pray to God to remove the bitterness, heal your heart , and fill you with his spirit of love.

    2. Aya Katz profile image83
      Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Give in to the bitter feelings for as long as you need to and wallow. Eventually, you'll get tired of it, and you'll be ready to move on.

      Sometimes when we to try to act cheerful and good-natured, but we don't really feel that way inside, then we prolong the bitterness.

      By giving in to the bitterness, I don't mean being hurtful to innocent third parties. I just mean, allowing yourself to fully feel what you feel.

    3. Elpaso profile image60
      Elpasoposted 13 years agoin reply to this


      1. Elpaso profile image60
        Elpasoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        FOR INSTANCE: Will the public get streaming video of that B@#ch and Fa$$ot getting Bu## F#$ked in their prison cells every night of their sentence? Then again they might enjoy that kind of thing.

    4. vox vocis profile image82
      vox vocisposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      By forgiving, which is very hard to do. Accept the pain which is caused to you and walk with your head up. If you turn to God admitting it's hard to forgive, and pray to succeed in it, the bitterness will eventually go away, or you will learn to live with it, forgetting sometimes that it's even there.

    5. Claudin_Dayo profile image61
      Claudin_Dayoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Everybody can be bitter, that's normal. Human as we are, were definitely not perfect. Learn to forgive and forget, if you just can't then give it whatever it is to God and never take them back in again. We'll it takes time to clean up the grudges stored up inside, in the course of time you will be find. Cheer up.

  2. GmaGoldie profile image80
    GmaGoldieposted 13 years ago

    Recognize that bitterness and your internal hate hurts you.  It blocks you from God's love, from other people's love, it is the hardest test we will encounter.

    Some people such as myself take decades to overcome bitterness.  When it you overcome bitterness, you will feel different.  This is a blessing, a grace from God.  Only through much prayer and seeking God can this be accomplished.

    Great question - critical to all of humankind.

  3. rebekahELLE profile image84
    rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

    I think first is the recognition that it is bitterness and it's not something that benefits your life.

    then acceptance of whatever happened to cause the bitterness.
    accept that it happened whether it was right or not. sometimes our bitterness comes from misunderstanding or not knowing fully why something happened. make up your mind to refuse bitterness. besides the fact that it is unhealthy.

    move forward and do something good for someone else. your problems will look less significant. hope this helps.

  4. sofs profile image77
    sofsposted 13 years ago

    It is a matter of decision, what you want for yourself.
    Bitterness hurts you more than the person who offends. It causes more harm in your body, mind and soul  - do you want it? Bitterness restricts your growth as it causes you to be negative and generalize it towards everyone or all situations. Neuroscience has proved that it  stops the growth activity of your learning cells... so decide what you want... ultimately it is your decision... no one else can influence you.

  5. Shadesbreath profile image77
    Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

    You have to let it go.

    Bad crap happens to us.  Horrible, unfair violations and betrayals.  Horrendous misfortune. 

    It happens.  It happens to some of us and not to others sometimes. And that seems so tragically unfair.

    So, you have two choices:

    1. You can hold on to your anger, keep it like a poisonous ball of bitter energy inside of you, focus on it, feed it and nurture it and think about how wrong and unfair things are and never be rid of the negativity.

    2. Tell yourself you got screwed.  Figure out what parts of it were actually your own fault, so you can make sure NOT to let that happen again at least.  Take a deep breath and start walking into the next part of your life's journey. 

    You can't heal and be happy if you go with option number 1.  That ball of poison in you will ruin your life.  You have to let it go.  It takes backbone, discipline, and practice pushing those thoughts out of your head.  But if you commit to letting it go, you can do it.

    1. h.a.borcich profile image62
      h.a.borcichposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      smile Can I print this with permission Shades? It is worded just right and I would like to pass it along, Holly

      1. Shadesbreath profile image77
        Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this


  6. profile image0
    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    salt, hang with it.

  7. Cagsil profile image70
    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    Realize that it is controlling your view and future progress of life. Accept that it actually did happen, whatever it was you feel bitter about, then move forward on with your life.

  8. Daniel Carter profile image61
    Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

    It often has to do with being a victim. You blame others for the bad that happens, and that may be accurate. But being a victim is often about not letting go of what happened, and blaming the other person for you not being able to move forward. It's the blame part that stops us. Not trying to peddle anything, but since I've gone through this, and suffered for a long time, I've also written a few hubs about it.

  9. barby2kool profile image61
    barby2koolposted 13 years ago

    It eats out your inside just like cancer does, so if you can, find a way to let go, it's better for your health and peace of mind.

  10. profile image0
    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    salt sweetens bitter waters, find some

  11. charkamman profile image60
    charkammanposted 13 years ago

    Use EFT to heal your hurt. is the main website, you can learn it for free.
    It helped me tremendously to forgive unforgivable things that happened to me as a small child.
    Seriously, try it.

  12. jacobkuttyta profile image36
    jacobkuttytaposted 13 years ago

    Just forgive.

  13. willtiti88 profile image54
    willtiti88posted 13 years ago

    My wife had an on again off again affair with her ex last year, before we were
    married.  Despite daily prayer, I still carry this underlying bitterness and
    despair. I often feel like I've forgotten how to love. I truly wish I could
    somehow exorcize the bitterness and love her as whole-heartedly as I had at
    our relationships outset- I don't think I ever loved anybody like I did her then. 
    Alas, I can't, and I often find I'm impatient with her when I would previously
    have been understanding and supportive.

    Basically, I feel like I am not doing her any favors being married to her at this
    point,  and I am wondering if the bible allows for a divorce in this situation- if
    only so that she has a chance to find the kind of love we had again.

    Of course, I'd much rather be convinced I could heal myself with time and
    prayer. But this looks dubious, and I would hate to force her to spend the rest
    of her life with a living reminder of her sexual immorality.

    what's the Good Word  on this one?

  14. profile image0
    BRIAN SLATERposted 13 years ago

    Bitterness just destroys you- you have to let go- we all have things in our life happen to us we would rather not have happened, but being bitter will not let you move on- live and forget, put it behind you. It was once great and it can be again trust me I know its happened to me. But living with bitterness will make you unhappy, start today saying to yourself its over and I'm moving forward not back.

  15. blackhatworld profile image61
    blackhatworldposted 13 years ago

    Bitterness can be a good thing if not taken to an extreme.  It is good to know where we don't want to go and it is good to learn from out experiences.

    We can be bitter or turned off by someone or some thing and still be positive in our life.  There is no perfect person in this world.  The only perfect living being in this world is my dog!

    The key is to, not totally forgive and to be aware.  Keep that 1% of non forgiveness  for your radar.  Take out 99 % of those bitter memories and file them away in a drawer called "Lesson Learned," and move on.  Put that 1% if bitterness and file it into a drawer called, “Been There and Done That.”

    The best book in the world (IMHO), ever written on positive thinking and changing one's lifestyle was written by Dr. Maxual Maltz called Psychocybernetics.  You will dig hard and long to find that book.  Next to this book is one written by Og Mandino; The Greatest Salesman in the World.”  These are small but profound books.  Both will  have a positive impact on your life.

    Each time you read them you will digest more and more.  They are written that way.

    I was a very negative person for most of my life. Filed with bitter and hateful memories.  I was a hard core biker.  I read this book and studied the concepts.  In just a few short years I was back on my feet and getting straight A's at University.

    I did NOT have my high school diploma.  I went right to university with a grade 10 education as mature student.  I earned most of my tuition from working for professors doing research and so on.  I  finished with a masters degree and A average.  If had of dwelled on bitterness I could have never made it.  If I had not found that book by Maxual Maltz I would have definitely never changed my lifestyle.

    I am not trying to make money off this book.  Dr. Maltz is no longer with us.  And, I don't think you can buy this book even through Amazon.   

    Good Luck


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