ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Health»
  • Quality of Life & Wellness

Funny and sad quotes about life in my country | so true and so contrasting

Updated on January 8, 2013

I thought, I would write some quotes about life taken from the people of my country. Here you will find some funny, sad and thought provoking ideas and quotes about why my country is the best place to live. Most of them might represent the reality of what life is like when you live here, some are quite exaggerated. All of them are more or less satirical and paradoxical. You may find quite hilarious and funny thoughts, but the next one could be sad and even shocking. Like I said, those are the most popular sayings of my countryman about the life in my country. I will not tell what country it is, you just have to guess that yourself. I advice not to take it for 100%, but, like someone said, every joke hinders some truth. So, let the journey begins…

Funny quotes about life in my country

Why is it good to live on my country? Here are a few reasons:

If you are driving at the maximum speed, you are slowing down the traffic…

Holidays in our resorts are more costly than in Turkey.

Winter comes always unexpectedly for our roadmen.

Despite the microbus being full, there is always a place for one more passenger.

My country is the second in the world with the highest corruption rate, just because it bribed someone to push us down from the first place.

We have many skinheads that are really concerned about your problems. Once they see you, they always ask: “you got problems?”

Only in my country you can get the cell phone for 1 dollar, have a talk plan for zero cents per minute and still get a three number bill per one month.

We have the same movie every Christmas for the last 15 years. It is “Home alone”.

There are 2000 baseball bats sold annually and just two baseball gloves.

We have great history, shameful present and vague future.

The ones you overtake on a road are losers and the ones that outrun you, are idiots.

More kebabs are made here than in Turkey.

A man living in a resort can win a lottery prize ticket to the same resort.

A few more funny life quotes about studying, police and money

After the first class in the University the most popular question among students is – “will you attend more?”

We care about the cars the Germans drive, just because we will be driving the same cars after 10 years.

Students manage to drive better cars than teachers.

A 30 minute TV soap opera usually lasts over an hour.

Journalists investigate more political crimes than police investigators, whereas the latter refer to the information from the journalists.

In my country the policemen get 500 dollars per month and 1000 per day. (This one is tricky)

Most of the new Mercedez and BMW cars belong to the disabled.

We get angry, when the plumber we have called for, arrives boozy, though after the work is finished we pay him with a bottle of Vodka.

We get the H1N1 flue vaccine after the flue has ended.

Here, in my country the proverb: “if you friend is in trouble – he in no friend” is true.

One half of our citizens live in poverty, another half – in UK.

You pay 2000 dollars for 1 year of University studies just to find out that you will be using the 1967 year course books.

My fellow citizen would rather buy a luxurious and expensive car, despite that he won’t have any money left for fuel.

Here we have the most expensive traffic control system in the world…and we still have the same traffic jams.

You can still live here, if your expenses and bills are greater than your income.

I honestly hope that you had some laughs and thoughts about it. Like I said, some of the quotes might be actually true in many countries, not just mine. These are the “pearls” I managed to pick from my own people, their experience and insight. If you’re still wondering which country is characterized by my quotes about life – just look at my bio, it will explain all.

Comments

Submit a Comment

  • Tomygun profile image
    Author

    Tomygun 7 years ago from Vilnius

    Thanx, crystolite.

  • crystolite profile image

    Emma 7 years ago from Houston TX

    Pretty funny but actually the best country.nice hub anyway.

  • Tomygun profile image
    Author

    Tomygun 7 years ago from Vilnius

    I particularly liked the one about politicians. To the point and funny.

  • kallini2010 profile image

    kallini2010 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

    Well, now that I think of it, I don't know what applies and what does not. What is a part of a culture and what is not.

    Most people find their own jokes to be the funniest. Once I have been told a story (it was long enough and complicated) and then when I failed to laugh where it was expected, I was INFORMED that it was the best joke in the universe. I had to disagree.

    When I was still living in Russia, I had my own joke "You may laugh after the word "steam engine". Of course, there were no steam engines in any of my jokes. And the last time I laughed so much was when my friend told me "A Chapaev" story (I strongly dislike Chapaev humour), but it was simply hilarious.

    Believe me, you can laugh anywhere, anytime, at anybody and anything. But quick wit and an inclination for making particular jokes is a national trait.

    But there are, of course, funny jokes everywhere. I prefer one-liners.

    "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

    "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

    "Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

  • Tomygun profile image
    Author

    Tomygun 7 years ago from Vilnius

    Thank you Kallini, for your comment. Canadians may be dry, but I think much of what's been said here does not apply to them. :)

  • kallini2010 profile image

    kallini2010 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

    It is funny, I agree. As for the best country... I am not guessing, OK?

    I have been told that it is Mexico. Pronounce "ks" as "h", it makes it even better.

    - Yes, I am a Mexican, but I hate Latinos, they all

    doublefaced.

    - ??? What about Mexicans?

    - Even worse. They are triplefaced.

    ===================================

    You don't have to guess where I am from. I live in Canada, but I am originally from your reality.

    I miss that type of humour. Canadians are too dry and too cold.

    I enjoyed your hub,

    All the best,

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)