Christmas 2012: The Best Gift for Her Is You . . . .

GET READY TO PARTY

guys, with your wife or girlfriend when you follow the advice in this story. There's just something about a guy doing things himself for his girlfriend or wife that turns her into a caring, loving, woman of his dreams. You think that this is a comedy story. Right? Wrong. I am completely serious. I challenge every guy reading this story to do all or maybe some of these things for your special someone this year at Christmas and see if I am not correct in my findings. I know. Ive tested these various 'gifts' out on my misses and buddies, do they work!

BUY HER SOME SAUNA SESSIONS

what woman in her right mind, especially our working ladies who endure stress, pressure and deadlines, wouldn't love to sit back and relax with the soothing steam of a few sauna sessions that you have given her. Better yet. Buy her a sauna of her own and install it yourself. Girls love to see guys in work clothes and tool belts.

A TUNE-UP

for her car, performed by you, would be not only practical, but will show her that you care about her automobile. She's with her car more than you, so you want that car to perform smoothly--just like you, so get your tools out and tune up her car for Christmas. She can watch while you sweat, grunt, and take care of automotive business for your special someone.

DO HER NAILS

and I mean finger and toenails, YOURSELF, guys. Don't take the easy way out and buy her a nail appointment. Do it yourself. And you can do this easily if you take your time, relax, and go online and research some 'Do It Yourself Nails' sites. But do not get confused. The sites you are looking for are finger and toenail sites, not roofing and carpenter nails.

HIRE A MAID

for a day before Christmas to clean and vacuum her apartment or house. That is if she isn't living with you or already married to her, but then again, show her that you care. Hire a professional maid to clean up the place for the holidays. Why? Well, guys, this is a two-fold gift. One, this eliminates you and your girl or wife having to do the work and two, this gives you and her more time (talking about your girl or wife, not the maid), to cuddle, talk, and spend some valuable quality time together for Christmas.

YOU DO ALL THE COOKING

for your girlfriend of wife. Yes, you, guys. What's wrong with getting out the chef's hat and the "Kiss The Cook," apron and do all the holiday cooking for the one you love? Nothing. At all. She, I guarantee it, will love you more for making such a noble effort as to cook while she relaxes with her girlfriends or just naps on the sofa. This, guys, is the kicker: Give up ALL of your bowl games for this one event, and see if sparks don't fly after you serve her or her and her family with a holiday dinner that you have cooked all by yourself.

OIL CHANGE

just like the tune-up for her car, this is a neat idea as well. Change the oil in her car yourself. Any bloke can take a car to the Super Lube and pay for it being done, but talk about a hot, romantic night. You will be devoured by your beloved when you do this job for her. And it will save her money too. More money for her to go shopping. Can you say score?

SHOPPING WITH HER

on or offline will thrill her to death. I promise. Most women love to shop at Christmas or anytime during the year, but she doesn't appreciate you taking long, impatient breaths, rolling your eyes, and sitting on a mall bench. She will literally love you to death if you just spend an entire day on the laptop or with her in the mall shopping. And I mean actually go in the stores with her and contribute your honest opinion on which dress looks the best on her. She will now have the man of her fantasies if you do this.

INSTALL WINDCHIMES

in her front or backyard. If she does have a front of backyard. This warm and peaceful gesture will bring up images of romance and speaking sweet nothings you two sit in your wicker chairs and listen to the wind chimes play those rousing songs of nature. And this gesture will prove to her that you do have a sensitive side. Girls love sensitive men.

WARNING: THIS GIFT HAS TO BE HANDLED WITH CARE

guys, just rent yourself a Santa suit, and if you look like the guy in this picture, well, needless to say, you and your special girl or wife will have a long, romantic night to remember. You can learn how to do seductive dances like the Chippendale Dancers. You can oil yourself down with oil that the body builders use in competition. Hey, it doesn't really matter if you do look like a Greek god, it's the heart felt gesture you have made for her. So have fun Christmas night, but please be careful.

SO YOU THOUGHT ALL THIS TIME

that I only dealt in humor. Comedy. Slap-stick routines that are engineered for laughs. Boy, were you way off base. I can be very caring. Sensitive. And noble. At the drop of a hat. And all of this story is not even for yours truly, but for some well-deserving guys in our readership that has, let us say, 'got in a rut,' when it comes to buying Christmas gifts for their girlfriend or wives.

This story is all about love. And how a man can generate more love and passion from his companion. Fact is, I am glad that I published this story. Not for fame. Glory. Or wealth. Just the sheer pleasure of knowing deep down inside that some poor guy who is dreading the trip to the mall this year to buy a gift that his girlfriend or wife will remember for years to come.

But guys, you have the choice. I am not strong-arming you at all.

You can go ahead, like all the guys in your town and spend your hard-earned dough on expensive rings, necklaces and bracelets. That is fine. And you might be more comfortable with that approach, but remember, these expensive things you are shelling out your money on are all perishable items. They will tarnish. Be covered in dust as time goes by.

But you can choose to one one, two, maybe all of the things I have presented in this story and create for you a romantic legacy that will be remembered by your wife or girlfriend as long as the two of you shall live.

You make the call.

GUYS, THIS IS TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY

how much money have you spent over the years for the girl that you adore? Allow me to answer: A lot. And she appreciates those costly rings, necklaces and pearls. What woman wouldn't? But this year, Christmas 2012, do something completely out of the ordinary . . .

GIVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE YOURSELF AS HER GIFT!

I guarantee you that SHE WILL NOT only appreciate your warm and caring efforts, but will love you forever.

But do be careful with the advice in this story for it's like playing with dynamite. Need I say more?