ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Crazy Christmas gifts

Updated on November 18, 2008


I was just surfing the Internet for the Christmas gifts I want to buy this year. You know, just something hopefully cheap so I can buy more than just one gift for some one. And cheap because I don’t want them to believe they will get expensive gifts every year, so I don’t have to work my but off the entire year to be able to buy them.


 I was amazed by the products that showed on the screen. I laughed; I cried and wondered why someone would even think of buying these things. But okay, just let us look at some things that came by.



Candy grabber

The candy grabber, what an invention. What’s wrong with just putting candy in a jar and get some out? Unless you want someone to get frustrated while they try to get some candy? And after an hour they just give up or throw it against the kitchen wall?

The last Rolo


 A solid silver Rolo? Duh… Just put it into the candy grabber. What the hell can you do with this? Eat it? No..  So what. Just look at it and imagine how much real rolo’s you could get for this silver thing? If someone wants chocolate and want Rolo, they just want that won't they?Not one of these over expensive useless fake Rolo’s  so when they start sleepwalking they hurt their teeth while dreaming of the real stuff.


Beer Butler

A battery operated beer butler? Great. But who has to get the beer out of the fridge? That’s just one of those things this thing won’t do. And who will open the bottle? Butler? My ass. A butler needs to do all of these things. So what’s the use of some called butler which is just able to bring the beer from one side of the table to the other?

Crazy aliens

Too bad they don’t have these with B.T. Evilpants. What would be greater then to see a B.T. Evilpants becoming 200 years old? Even when it has to survive in a small tube first and has to breathe trough a little antenna. But yeah.. after it has grown you can play with it. And who just doesn’t want to play with a Evilpants

Become a Lord or Lady


This is really something I wouldn’t like. So why should I buy this for someone else?


“Do you sometimes get the feeling you were destined for greatness? Would you like people to show you the respect you deserve?  How would you like to join the ranks of the privileged few? Well, no longer do you have to be content just being Mr. or Mrs. Average. Now, you can join the silver spoon club without resorting to marriage or inheritance.”

Well first off all, I’m Mrs. Average and want to stay average, thank you. I don’t want to join some club where I have to watch out when I have my sneakers on or want to walk around in some ordinary basic jogging outfit. And most of all, I don’t want my friends to believe I’m more then I am. Especially I don’t want my relatives who like to think that status means money to come over too much then. I don’t have the money and I don’t want them to beg for money at my doorsteps. I like it the way it is. Just seeing them once or twice a year and even better, watch them go home again.


So no upgrading of my social status.Any social status. I didn’t have one yesterday neither did the others  and I don’t want one overnight to be able to receive invitations to go to important events



A USB hamster

Mm Maybe for someone who doesn’t like to remember sick hamsters that die..  The best way to euthanize this one is just pull the plug from the computer. At least you don’t have to feed it, or take it to the vet.



Mood pets

Mood pets?Do people need these things to let someone know in what kind of mood they are? Can’t people just show their mood, communicate? Instead of needing annoying lights and blinking colors that start to aggravate when you have to watch this all the time?  And if I want a pet to shine, I could put a light bulb up its ass couldn’t I?  You just have to be in the right mood to do that.






Okay, I quit. There’s too much to show, too much to see. I have to look further to find the gifts I want to buy.


And for those who want to know… All I want for Christmas is some 4 x AA Super Green Heavy Duty Batteries




    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Elizabeth Bighorse 

      9 years ago

      Some crazy cool gifts at, like erotic gingerbread ornaments, eggnog soap, cotton candy toothpicks...great site!

    • drpastorcarlotta profile image

      Pastor Dr. Carlotta Boles 

      9 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

      Lol, lol, lol, The Candy grabber! Yell you'll get tired and throw it against the wall and then get all the Candy out of it!!! lol This just tickled me!!

    • RGraf profile image

      Rebecca Graf 

      9 years ago from Wisconsin

      To think that someone somewhere bought these. I hope I never get one of these.

    • Lazur profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Netherlands

      I'll tell after Christmas, he might read this:D

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Do tell, what was it? :)

    • Lazur profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Netherlands

      I didn't buy any of these either.. But I did buy another crazy gift:D LOL

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Hehehe these are indeed crazy gifts. :-) I don't think I'd buy any of those either. LOL

    • Lazur profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Netherlands

      We'll see compu-smart:D. As long I'm with the ones I love, it's fine with me:D

    • compu-smart profile image

      Tony T 

      10 years ago from London UK

      Hi Lazur,

      Im with patty on this one!! lol

      ps..I hope u get soo much more than 4 x AA Super Green Heavy Duty Batteries!!


    • profile image


      10 years ago

      I like the aliens! They're so cute!

    • Lazur profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Netherlands

      I like your idea. It's more fun that way:D

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      10 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      Great Hub, and I kinda like the idea of the candy grabber, but I would put small mystery wrapped parcels into it and get any visiting children to amuse themseves by trying to catch a gift each time they visited :)

    • Lazur profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Netherlands

      Gwendymom, why need a beerbutler when there are others in the house who will get your beer from the fridge and open the bottle:D LOL

      Patty, At least it's an easy going animal:D

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish MS 

      10 years ago from USA. Member of Asgardia, the first space nation, since October 2016

      I think I like the USB Hamster :)

    • gwendymom profile image


      10 years ago from Oklahoma

      Lazur, at least the beer butler has some use. The others I would get bored with in a minute or two. Ok I would probably get bored with after a week or two also, but at least I would still have that time for that something got my drink for me and gave my children a break. LOL, Great Hub!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)