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Sad Things You Can Do Alone On Valentine's Day

Updated on December 21, 2014
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 7 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.

Valentine's Day Rears Its Ugly Head

The Christmas decorations barely have time to hit the clearance rack at stores when the Valentine's Day decorations and candy shows up. Can't we just have a moment of peace? Why must we shuffle one holiday out only to replace it with the next one? Yes, Valentine's Day is just around the corner, my friends.

If you are like me, you are not really a fan of Valentine's Day. First of all, why celebrate one day out of the year with your significant other? It seems like if you really cared you would celebrate everyday with the person you love. Furthermore, chocolate factories and greeting card companies promote this holiday just so they can make a lot of money. Of course, perhaps I am just bitter because I am always single on Valentine's Day. Somehow, someway, even if I am dating a guy, I still end up alone on Valentine's Day. I was even dumped on Valentine's Day once! Yes, perhaps I have my own personal reasons for resenting the holiday, but nonetheless, Valentine's Day can be annoying.

If you are single this year for Valentine's Day, you might be wondering, "What should I do? What kind of things can I do alone this year for Valentine's Day?" Yes, a happy, normal person might try to go out with friends or just pretend the day doesn't exist at all. But what is the fun in that? Let's instead explore sad things you can do alone on Valentine's Day. I mean, why not just really wallow in the self-pity while listening to love songs, right?

Sad, Fairly Pathetic, Ridiculous Things You Can Do Alone On Valentine's Day

  • Eat an entire box of chocolate while watching all the Friday the 13th movies. I am not talking about some small, sissy-sized box either. Get the biggest box of chocolates at Walmart. If you buy them at Walmart, at least they won't be expensive. You don't want to be poor and single.
  • Start dialing up old boyfriends and/or girlfriends and tell them how you were too good for them anyway. If possible, start listing reasons before they hang up.
  • Buy yourself a Snuggie. At least you can snuggle up to something.
  • Go on a date with your cat. Mr. Fluffy has been rather bored anyway since you took away all of his catnip. Why not take him out to dinner with you? What fun it will be to see what restaurant will actually let you in. I am going to guess it will be Burger King.
  • Start knitting the biggest quilt ever. If someone asks you about it, explain how it was soaked with your tears while you started knitting it on a lonesome Valentine's Day.
  • Search the internet looking for new therapists who might be able to help you battle your sadness over being single. This is something anyone who has ever been dumped on Valentine's Day should probably do anyway. Oh wait, that came up again... I swear I am over it!
  • Dress up your dog in a cute sweater with little hearts. See if your dog will also allow you to put a cute heart headband on, too. Later in the day, go to the doctor's office after the dog has violently attacked you because you've said one too many times, "Look how precious you look!"
  • Sign up for as many online dating sites as possible. Post ridiculous photos of yourself and call yourself Boom Boom. See how many new friends you can make.
  • Go out to a restaurant and start to loudly "boo" at couples as the walk by. Give them a thumbs down if they look your way.
  • Buy yourself flowers over the internet and have it sent to your job. Pretend they are from your new boyfriend. If anyone asks when they can meet him, just say he is in jail, but he will be out in a few years.
  • Walk along a beach by yourself. At some point, begin to jog as if you are running into someone's arm. If you do this in front of others, it will be all the more hilarious / pathetic.
  • Start reading the book He's Just Not That Into You again.Make it a Valentine's Day tradition to read it every year.
  • Make sure to post numerous Facebook status updates all day on Valentine's Day about absolutely nothing. Mention each time you get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, or walk across the room. When someone posts a cutesy status update about Valentine's Day, post a comment stating how much you wish there was a "dislike" button available.
  • Stare at the phone and wait for it to ring.

Seriously, don't do any of these things! Valentine's Day is honestly not a big deal. It is fun being single! Honest! It is also great to decorate for a holiday that embraces hearts, flowers, and glitter. I mean, really, you can have a lot of fun or just totally ignore that Valentine's Day exists at all. The choice is up to you, but don't be sad about it. After all, it really is basically a way for companies to make money selling candy, flowers, and stuffed animals.


Submit a Comment

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks so much for your comment. It sounds like we are on the same page when it comes to Valentine's Day. It is a rather silly holiday, but I do like glittery hearts, chocolates, etc. :-)

  • FullOfLoveSites profile image

    FullOfLoveSites 5 years ago from United States

    Yep, you're right, it's not a big deal. I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day (except reading its history, the only thing I like) -- just another excuse on commercializing anything. Love should be shown everyday, even in the simplest things.

    But I find your hub funny. I'm sure there are some really sad and desperate people who do these things you've mentioned. Up and funny. :)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Hahaha... I am rather indifferent towards Valentine's Day most of the time. I do like hearts a lot, so in that sense, Valentine's Day is nice. However, I was dumped on Valentine's Day once, so the holiday was soured for me for a while. I am happy I could give you a good laugh on Super Bowl Sunday. I actually can't stand the Super Bowl much more than Valentine's Day. Perhaps I need to write about that! Thanks for checking out my hub.

  • pstraubie48 profile image

    Patricia Scott 5 years ago from sunny Florida

    Laughing, laughing. I on the other hand am a huge fan of Valentine's Day but I still think these are funny. You gotta' laugh...

    Thanks for giving me sometime to do on Super bowl Sunday...

    Sending you Angels this lovely Sunday afternoon. :) ps

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Efficient Admin - Sadly, I have done a few of these things myself. Oh well. At least I got a hub out of it. :-)

    lovedoctor926 - I have never once been in a real relationship during Valentine's Day. I might be dating a guy, but it is never a big deal. I really don't attach too much meaning to the holiday either, but it would be nice to just once get flowers or something... just once! :-)

    Thank you both for your comments!

  • profile image

    lovedoctor926 5 years ago

    Whether I'm single or in a relationship, it doesn't make a difference. I still go out to dinner with my friends and/ or partner. I don't attach any meaning to this particular holiday. Love is something to celebrate throughout the year. I really enjoyed this hub.

  • Efficient Admin profile image

    Efficient Admin 5 years ago from Charlotte, NC

    I think I'd like to try the Boom Boom idea.

    Let's see.......I've done: Bullet #5 (yes I crocheted a giant queen sized blanket, only to donate it to charity years later), Bullet #11 except I do not jog, and Bullet #12. Okay, back to surfing the net.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Hahaha... I am going to start calling myself the Hubsville Holiday Treasure. Thank you. Yes, it is tough preparing for Valentine's Day, especially considering I don't think people should date during the holidays. I can be especially cruel to my loyal readers.

    Also, so YOU'RE Boom Boom! I've been looking for you all over the place. I am glad we can finally reunite!

    Thanks for the compliments (and my new nickname) and thanks for reading!

  • ThoughtSandwiches profile image

    ThoughtSandwiches 6 years ago from Reno, Nevada

    Ahh Jeannie...

    You are our Hubsville holiday treasure!! Valentine's day is ALL about coming far too soon after Christmas.

    Also...if one took your advise and NOT dated during the holidays like running to catch a bus to have something in place by the time of this lame ass holiday.

    Yes...I also have issues. Now...I was never dumped ON the day...but shortly afterward...and in retrospect...I'm sure she was phoning it in and just being kind in her dumping schedule. The bitch... did you know that Boom Boom was my dating name?

    Love reading your stuff!


  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I am happy I could give you a good laugh. We all need one sometimes. Thanks for reading and for the comment!

  • Sharyn's Slant profile image

    Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

    Wow, you certainly made me LOL tonight. I really enjoyed this. I love the idea to sign up on all the online dating sights . . . boom boom, ha.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Sorry about that! I was going to write a hub about low-budget Valentine's Day ideas, but everyone else seems to have written hubs about that. I decided to go in a different direction. I did write about funniest gift ideas today though. Happy Valentine's Day and thanks for the comment!

  • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

    Wesman Todd Shaw 6 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

    I'd actually need tips on what to do with a date on Valentine's day. Most all holidays are days spent alone for me....other than the big family holidays of Christmas and Thanksgiving.

    Thanks for providing tips though, who knows, I might wind up domesticated for a spell and forget what it was I did alone before then all of the time.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Hey, if they are in law enforcement, that means they have jobs. This already seems like a good idea to me. :-)

  • Austinstar profile image

    Lela 6 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

    Most guys frequenting a gun range are law enforcement types. I know since I come from a family of cops. They are either law enforcement or hunters generally. I don't recall ever meeting anyone 'dangerous' there. But I guess you can't be too careful!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Now that you mention it, the gun range might not be that safe, but who knows? I rather like men that are a little "dangerous." :-)

    I am glad you liked the list. Yeah, Valentine's Day is super annoying no matter what. Thanks for the votes!

  • JoshuaDR profile image

    JoshuaDR 6 years ago from Charleston, SC

    I wouldn't pick up a guy at the gun range if I were you... seems dangerous =)

    Funny list though. Before I started dating again I thought Valentine's Day was depressing but now that I have someone.... I hate it even more!

    voted up and funny

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Victoria Lynn - Just once I would like to have someone to walk along the beach with for a romantic vacation - just once! I can just hope for that one day. But yeah, Valentine's Day is just so silly. I can't help but make fun of it. You should definitely write some holiday hubs. They actually make you feel more festive and they do tend to get a lot of traffic around the time of the holiday.

    Austinstar - I never thought about picking up guys at the gun range before. I might just try that one day. I've also been told I should go to Best Buy and look confused while shopping for electronics. Guys will come out of the woodwork trying to help. :-) Thanks for the advice.

    Thank you both for your comments!

  • Austinstar profile image

    Lela 6 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

    Oh, how I long for a beach to go walking on with my Valentine. Bob and I got married on Valentine's day, almost 21 years ago. Funny story.

    I can tell you the very best thing to do on VD though, go buy a pistol, take it and lots of ammo to your local gun range and ask all of those macho guys there to teach you how to shoot the thing. You will find all kinds of cute guys willing to help.

    Don't forget to bat those eyelashes!

  • Victoria Lynn profile image

    Victoria Lynn 6 years ago from Arkansas, USA

    Jeannie--you're hilarious! I love the running along the beach into someone's arms idea. haha. I agree with you about Valentine's Day. I've been dating someone for a while, but we don't make a big deal out of it. Maybe a handwritten note or a card, but nothing major. I think one year he surprised me with flowers, but that's not the norm. I've never really cared for the holiday. Hey, you might add a bottle of champagne to the chocolates. I used to often get a bottle of champagne when I was by myself on V Day! Great hub! Made me chuckle! You're great about keeping up with the holiday hubs. I may try one myself! :-)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Yes, exactly! Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday. It is just all about making money. I do enjoy the chocolates that come in the heart-shaped box though. :-)

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

    This is an awesome list! You are too funny!! I don't fall for the hallmark holidays...spread the love every day:))

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    You are exactly right. Valentine's Day gives people the wrong idea. You can't just celebrate being with someone just that one day. But then again, what do I know? I am also single. :-)

    Thanks for reading and thanks for the comment!

  • Alecia Murphy profile image

    Alecia Murphy 6 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

    Romance should never be one day a year, but what do I know I'm single? Either way, it really is overblown. If you love someone great, if you're flying solo that's cool but I agree people stress for dumb reasons. As long as you're happy, some greeting card holiday doesn't matter.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    RTalloni - Yes, perhaps a movement should be created to do something nice and loving for others on Valentine's Day instead of buying flowers or candy for someone. That is actually a really nice idea.

    Mr. Happy - You are very lucky to have grown up in a place that did not celebrate Valentine's Day. It is such a cheesy holiday anyway. I do, however, enjoy decorating things with hearts and flowers though. I guess Valentine's Day is a really feminine holiday. I just don't think it should be taken seriously at all.

    Thanks for the comments!

  • Mr. Happy profile image

    Mr. Happy 6 years ago from Toronto, Canada

    Yes, indeed Valentine's Day has become just another reason for people to buy more over-priced (because things like flowers, chocolate, etc. are always over-priced on Valentine's Day) things which they really do not need at that moment.

    And I am not a fan of those who just buy flowers for someone on Valentine's. It's like we make specific days when we treat each other nicely (Christmas is another example) when in fact we should be nice to one another all the time.

    I'm lucky to have grown-up in Eastern Europe and this occasion was not celebrated. I really do not care much about it. I guess practicing celibacy and abstinence for over a decade also helps lol

    Nice write. Cheers!

  • RTalloni profile image

    RTalloni 6 years ago from the short journey

    The thing I hate most about Valentine's Day is the focus on what love ISN'T while all the time people who are supposed to be grownups are acting like what love ISN'T is what it is. All things considered a funny slant is a great way to go no matter who you are.

    Or maybe some smart person will start a Valentine's Day movement about what love really is by organizing outreaches to the needy in sad shelters, pathetic nursing homes, children's homes, etc., and eventually turn the tide on the holiday. If you're gonna dream, dream big, yes?!


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