Worst Locations for an Easter Egg Hunt

In case you've never been lucky enough to participate in an Easter egg hunt or you have no idea what I am even talking about, let me tell you about the Easter egg hunt! Every year for Easter, many families hide Easter eggs around the house or the yard, and small children look for them. OK, who am I kidding? In some families, the adults look for the eggs, too. You can use dyed Easter eggs or plastic eggs for these hunts. I prefer to use both.

There are plenty of ways to make Easter egg hunting an adventure. You can stash money in the plastic eggs. You could also hide hundreds of eggs on a large farm. You could even hide some chocolate eggs all over your house if you wanted - just make sure the dog is not around for that one! One of the worst ideas to liven up your Easter egg hunt is having the festivities in a terrible location. Not only can that make the event not as much fun, it could even be dangerous.

Check out my super "helpful" list of the least appealing places anyone can hold an Easter egg hunt. It just might save your life! OK, not really, but maybe you won't hide your eggs any place too weird this year.

One of the worst places you can hide Easter eggs is a chicken coop. And trust me, I speak from experience. You basically have two ways this is heading for disaster:

1) Mildred, Henny, and Ms. Feathers don't understand those brightly colored eggs you just put in their nests are not their own eggs. They are confused about how they managed to lay pink, purple, and green eggs. They are sad about the situation. Then they just may try to make the most out of their predicament and sit on the eggs anyway. Just don't do it!

2) Have you ever tried to tell the difference between a fairly ugly dyed Easter egg and a brown chicken egg that was laid an hour ago? Trust me when I say it is not easy to distinguish between the two sometimes. This is especially the case to a small child eager to find as many Easter eggs as possible. The outcome can be devastating for a little kid!

Although having an Easter egg hunt on or near a volcano may seem picturesque, it is actually quite dangerous. Yes, it will present an extra challenge for those enthusiastic egg hunters out there, but all that hot lava is bound to ruin the hunt should an eruption occur. Not to mention, it could very well ruin the Easter eggs and I can't imagine anything much worse than that.

This year, when you plan to Easter egg hunt, try to stay as far away from active volcanoesas possible. It is probably safer that way. At the very least, you don't want lava to ruin your beautiful dyed eggs. Oh, and the threat of death is probably a negative aspect to it, too.

Sigh, while we are on the subject of death, I guess I have to admit a funeral home is probably a bad Easter egg hunting spot as well. If you live in a funeral home, maybe you can manage to use a few rooms in the residential area of the property for some indoor hunting. I realize not that many people live in a funeral home, but hey, I saw "My Girl," so I guess it happens sometimes.

If you simply work at a funeral home or you will be attending a funeral during the Easter holiday season, don't bother having the Easter egg hunt there. It is actually in poor taste. No one wants to look into a casket to find an Easter egg. Who knows what other surprises lurk in there?

I know what you are thinking... "A garbage dump for an Easter egg hunt? What could be better than that?" I know, I know, all that smelly trash, rodents, and leaping over mounds of waste does seem appealing, but I assure you, it is not. After all, someone could trip on some junk since... well, it is a junkyard. Even though you might want an exciting challenge this Easter, leave the garbage dump off your list of potential Easter egg hunt locations.

Parking lots are just a bad idea for Easter egg hunts in general. If a parking lot is full of cars, traffic, and people, all those distractions are just going to spoil your fun. Not to mention, you could get run over. Even worse, someone could run over one of those precious Easter eggs. That is when all participants will burst into tears!

Even if the parking lot is empty, there are serious limitations in hiding eggs there. Sure, you might find a mound of dirt with a patch of grass growing around a lamp post or something, but otherwise, you options are going to be limited. I suppose if you are looking for the least challenging Easter egg hunt in history, this could be an OK spot though.

Unless you are the type of person that enjoys getting muddy, a swamp is probably not your best location for an Easter egg hunt. It is gross, wet, and hard to find the eggs.

Even worse, your Easter eggs are bound to turn an ugly shade of brown. No amount of washing them can erase that... or it might erase the dye at the same time. In general, mud means a bad Easter egg hunt.

If you live near a facility that does any type of military testing, you probably want to avoid it. I don't know about you, but stepping on potentially explosive materials seems like a bad idea. It is one way to ruin an Easter egg hunt pretty quickly.

I don't even know what the government is doing on some proving grounds. Are they testing bombs? What about nuclear weapons? Maybe they are just trying out new guns or surveillance equipment. For all I know, the aliens from the Roswell crash live there. Here is what I do know... I don't want to find out!

If you live close to a proving ground or testing facility, don't be fooled by all that green grass. The tall fences are installed all over the area for a reason. You and your Easter eggs need to hunt elsewhere.

Just because you are restricted from having your Easter egg hunt at the locations listed above doesn't mean you can't have a good time. Easter egg hunts can be fun even at a mundane location, such as your own backyard. Don't let a lack of danger or mud prevent you from having a blast this Easter. Include some plastic eggs with money in them, and I assure you, everyone is more than happy to hunt.

Happy Easter!

Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle