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A Thought For Sunday

Updated on August 7, 2011

Natural Beauty

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From Me to You in My Little World

A Thought For A Sunday.

The dew lay heavily on the branches of the apple trees this morning, as I stretched my weary bones and gazed out of the window over the undulating Irish countryside before me. I walked outside in my pink and grey stripy pyjamas to fill up my horse’s water bucket from the tap at the back of the garage, and I smiled as I could see the grass flattened by my foot prints.

I didn’t sleep well last night, tossing and turning with all sorts of thought processes going through my mind, and strangely as I awoke, a few words from my Uncle Jim that were spoken years ago where recalled to mind. “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” Now I realise that these words were not just from his wisdom, and had been spoken to many people thousands of times in the past. and will be spoken of many thousands of times again in the future, but I thought it was strange that I should just recall them at that precise moment.

My morning started off as usual with the first cup of tea for the day, which without I couldn’t function;shortly followed by feeding the dog and then parking my bum on the seat in front of the computer to check my mail. This is a habit that I have gotten into recently and one of the worst things that I have ever done, which started a few weeks ago after losing my job.

Today is Sunday, the official beginning of the week and my official start day to detach myself from checking my mail first thing in the morning. Now what has all this to do with my recalled memories? I will tell you, it has simply nothing to do with it, I ran out of conversation there for a moment, and it filled a gap? However, it has started me thinking about the saying in general.

“It is better to have loved”, very true. It is such a gift to be able to open your heart willingly to another human being, but love comes in many disguises. The love you have for your husband will never match the love that you feel for your child, or even your mother, friend or pet. They are all so intense, but of an entirely different nature. Some love you depend upon, other love is dependent on you and the thoughts and emotions that you evoke in someone else; or indeed your ability to open your heart for someone to trust and rely on you.Such qualities are unique to our own personality and we are all capable of surrendering to them, but by choice; and not possibly due to our own individual understanding of human nature.

Each and every one of us has qualities. I am as easy to understand as reading an open page in a book. My grey areas are few and far between, what you see if what you get. A friend of mine keeps everything close to her chest, but has enough love in her soul as to take in the entire nation. Another person very close to me is naturally sceptical and unwilling to allow people any closeness at all, until theyhave proved themselves to be worthy of his love. The one thing we all have in common is the ability to love another, in our own individual way.

“Better to have loved and lost”, well simply this depends on what you have lost. Grief takes shape in many forms, from depression to carrying out acts of violence. Just like love, we all deal with grief differently. For me to lose someone special either by death or to another conquest results in my questioning of my own ability to make the correct decision in the first place. Self pity is my own worst enemy and I have to admit, that I can wallow in it nicely until a kick in the britches makes me take notice again. My friend on the other hand, stops eating and heads straight for the vodka bottle, and I ask which one is the most destructive reaction?So not only do we all love and grieve, we all have a self destruct button too. Such is the complexity of life.

“Lost and never loved at all” now this is the real stinger in the tail. If we open our hearts to love and be loved and react to the loss of love in a destructive way, what messages are we receiving here? Maybe we shouldn’t love or maybe we should fight to hang on to love. Whichever way is a quandary that I personally never wanted to challenge. However, I will let you in on my own opinion and the way I try to live my life.

I never close doors to anyone who I love or I have lost or have hurt me because I want to savour every moment of my life. I don’t bare grudges, I always try to forgive but it is harder to forget. But most of all if I have loved a person and lost them, I remember that they were once part of my life. Important enough to want to spend time in their company and individual enough to make me want to learn about them.

I have seen many relationships destroyed due to unsolved issues that time could have worked around. So many people tear each other apart to get the upper hand, and yet we once shared our lives with them, worried about them and nurtured their souls.Not just in our own close relationships but in business and friendship, and I know that I look through the world in “rose tinted glasses” but better that way than starting wars and hatred.

Please take the time every day from your busy lives to look at the world that we live in. The power of free speech and thought was given to all of us; I would ask us all to use it, because hatred and war does nothing for any man.

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    • profile image

      femmeflashpoint 

      7 years ago

      It seems I found this hub exactly when I needed to read it. Thank you for sharing, because I gleaned encouragement from it while attempting to keep my own angst at a recent loss at bay.

      It put a smile on my face, and more importantly, my heart as well.

    • vidhimayur profile image

      vidhimayur 

      7 years ago

      very interesting hub blue star, ur hub reminded me of wat is said often dat "dnt cry dat it's over but be happy coz it happened"....it is so true that love is such a b'ful emotion..n when u r with the people whom u love the most we all should learn to respect and value dat :)

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Oh blue,

      Please do not take yourself for granted, for this hub is rife with much wisdom and heart. You both learn and share your life lessons well, my friend. Voted INSPIRING and UP and UABI, mar.

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hey Sharyn, how goes it hunnie? Wisdom is something I take forgranted, possibly because I never think of my self as wise. I learn from other people darling, and that is where my heart comes from. Thank you for your lovely comments.

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Eiddwen, our hearts are so very resourceful when left to care for those we love, to be selfless is a virtue my friend, but how many like you can claim that? x

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Dearest b. you above many others reflect on life in the same way as I do. We have both been bruised and lived to carry the pain. I am so glad that I can share my thoughts with you. x

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hi Sally, darling it takes much less energy to let go of hurt and pain than it does to hold on to it. If only we all realised that. Thank you for your lovely comment. x

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Hi Blue,

      Wonderful words of wisdom stated here. I appreciate your thought for Sunday on a Tuesday . . . thanks :)

      Sharyn

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      7 years ago from Wales

      A great hub bluestar,and here's to many more to share.

      Take care

      Eiddwen.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 

      7 years ago

      Yes this Hub is very Thought Provoking Bluestar and you've giving a lot of good answers to the problems of Life and how to handle them better...Experience is our Best Teacher. And forgiveness to others is a Firtue. Your advise is well said and comes straight from your Wonderful Heart my friend.

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 

      7 years ago

      You are a very "big" person to not hold grudges. It is hard, but in the end -- who gets hurt from animosity, revenge -- a child, you . . . Rising above a painful event or relationship is a virtue.

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Darling Cardisa, such an old head on young and lovely shoulders. You are a bright light in my world, your comments are always so true and heart felt. Thank you. xx

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hey Mr Frog, Always write from the heart, and thank you for the encouraging comment. I will heed your advice.

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 

      7 years ago from Jamaica

      Very good advice Annette, and inspiring as well. I do believe it's better to have loved than to not have loved at all. I have been stung but have never decided to not give it a go. I am always looking for love and ways to express it. When we close our hearts to love we are the ones to lose out on the blessing that love bring.

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Writer20, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. I am sending you a huge hug and tell you to search deep within you to find the strength to carry on. Love is such a precious gift and you can always be proud that you have shared your love with another. Take care hunnie xx

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Sunnie darling, I am with you girlfriend, I don't understand love either but I have lots of practise trying to find it lol x

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hi Mike, you have been on your travels, nice to see you here this time lol

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hey No-Clue, How are you girlfriend. I am glad to hear that my little thought for the day gave you some comfort. It is surprising what you think about when you tumble out of bed. x

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 

      7 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Obviously written from the heart. There are regrets but there is always room for taking the next step.

      The Frog

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 

      7 years ago from Southern Nevada

      This is a great hub. I have a love at myside he's been very sick since last Christmas when I thought I was going to lose him. This made me realize how much I love him and would not want to be with out him. I consider myself very lucky.

      I'm so sorry about your lose of work. I have been there too, so I took early retirement.

    • profile image

      marellen 

      7 years ago

      Like you, What you see is what you get. I have loved and had to at least forgive but will never forget in certain circumstances. I have decided to close the door to finding a significant other relationship for the time being and I'm happier. Never say never. Thank you for sharng this...

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 

      7 years ago

      Great Hub bluestar..so thought provoking..ahhh love..so hard to understand..still do not get it completely and probibly never will..I am a forgiver..let it go..kind of person..I want to be happy most of all..Better to have loved than to have never loved at all is so true..

      Thank you my friend,

      Love,

      Sunnie

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 

      7 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello stopped by tho see what was up. Great message this morning.

    • No_Clue profile image

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Thought provoking and very true! I needed to read this today! Thank you, star~

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