ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Astrology Case Study: Cancers On The Cusp of Leo, Keen Psychics Beware!

Updated on December 23, 2009

Keen Psychics Beware! We Have Uncovered The Truth About Cancers On The Cusp Of Leo!

Note the calm appearance of this zodiacal menace!
Note the calm appearance of this zodiacal menace!

The Cult is a voodoo wildflower.

The robust specimen pictured above was snared at a convenience store using a giant wooden crate, two vanilla Little Debbies and a hook made of buckthorn...

Greetings horoscope advocates, zodiac zealots and other keen psychics, it is I, Dr. Zoran Benevelynchski, PhD and founding member of the Amateur Evisceration & Divination Club. I am here to alert you today of the presence of a wicked bugaboo that walks among us! This is none other than the eternally malevolent Cancer on the cusp of Leo.

Recently, with the help of three of my best zodiacal interns, we successfully trapped and contained one hairy specimen of this most Cancerous kind. Whereupon trapping this Homo Sapiens Sapiens Cancerous Pantheracis, we proceeded to prepare him for our psychic testing before dispatching him, and saving the world from his ferocious nest-building qualities.

We prepped the specimen with copious cups of black coffee. The clairvoyant test that we had constructed for it, required that the trickster be hopped up on caffeine. Though my students were frightened of the shaggy, unkempt mane of this Homo Sapiens Sapiens Cancerous Pantheracis, I reminded them that this was a crowning attribute of all bold members of the Leo cluster. I told them that there was nothing to be afraid off, the smell of ennui that filled the air was found among all zodiacal bogeymen that were born on the cusp!

The most psychic of all my students, Hedwig Van De Tarot approached the giant wooden crate that we kept it in. She unsheathed her scroll of Planetary Ephemeris and began to render upon the Trickster, his birth chart reading! It was at this point that the zodiacaly bewildered anomaly started ranting about "Inconsistent observations from all different cultures. Each with it's own specific and subjective varying predictors of the future."

On and on he went about repeated trials and some rattling gibberish about a ritual he called The Scientific Method. Hedwig and I brainstormed afterword about the meaning of this moniker but putting our heads together we failed to lend any definition to the creatures ramblings.

Hedwig and my two other interns attached the electric clamps to all exposed appendages of the Homo Sapiens Sapiens Cancerous Pantheracis. Let the psychic test begin! Psychic tests in my previous career as a Doctor of Astrology doing psychic readings by phone was nothing in contrast to the deviant humanity caged before us. After a quick chant, Hedwig threw the switch!

Before finishing this article, please take a moment to enter your choice into this highly zodiacal survey

Have you ever met anyone

See results

More documentation of Homo Sapiens Sapiens Cancerous Pantheracis for keen psychics use only!

With a loud, thwack! The electric current surged through the bugaboo's veins. His lips puffed out horrendously, his hair, already untamed and virulent in appearance, grew even more catastrophic! The specimen began to shout, "Let me outta here you crazy ass clairvoyant clowns!"

Although we were all flattered by it's acknowledgment of our collective psychic power, we were not fooled. Hedwig turned the electricity all the way up, until finally, with one last gasp the menace whimpered, "Sanctimonious weirdos..." and then unceremoniously expired.

Hedwig and my other two interns checked the readings on our Clairvoyanometer and sure enough, he was indeed a certified Homo Sapiens Sapiens Cancerous Pantheracis, a Cancer on the cusp of Leo. So let this be a lesson to all keen psychics everywhere, beware the ides of Cancers on the cusp of Leo, lest this bugaboo try to ensnare you with his cursed ramblings about the Scientific Method and repeated trials! Bah!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)