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Everybody Hates Me - Woe is me. I'm Going Out and Eat Worms.(comical satire)

Updated on March 27, 2016

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone

laughing at you for laughing at me
laughing at you for laughing at me | Source
laughter is the best medicine
laughter is the best medicine

Being Misunderstood

Maintaining a sense of humor is as necessary as maintaining good ethics when dealing with people in general.

Know when to laugh at yourself.

Never put down others in an offensive and hateful way.

God MUST have a grand sense of humor.

Everybody hates me.....


Oh, woe is me....a satirical tale.

After receiving an email the other day that i thought was quite funny, i decided to forward it to all my email contacts (friends and family) who promptly responded with multiple negative comments as to my intended "insult" to them.

Apparently mentioning the process and reality of aging has become politically incorrect. ?

Doesn't anyone have a sense of humor any more?

Or is it because this was too close to the truth?

One responded:

" this is why no-one likes you."

I asked:

"WHAT ? You don't like me because i am concerned about you?"

He replied:

" you are not only ugly, but you can't read either. I didn't say I do not like you - i said no-one likes you" .

Then there were those "you are too...." comments which includes a few of the following:

You are too..

  • .....opinionated
  • .....liberal mouthed (not minded)
  • .....incontrovertibly controversial
  • incongruous
  • .....sacrilegious
  • .....tolerant of intolerant people
  • .....quick to criticize honest bigots
  • .....irreverent
  • .....obnoxious for your own good

And a few more, more personal: you are...

  • .....a dippy old hippy.
  • .....a conformed non-conformist
  • .....a confirmed non-conformist
  • old dunderhead pot head (referring to my hub on legalizing the stuff, of course)
  • inane idiot
  • .....a dubious old dudgeon
  • .....a blundering boob
  • anti-dogmatic dolt

{and i am proud to say - guilty of all the above}

Then there were the short versions:

  • L.O.L.
  • Ha. Ha. Ha.
  • Same to you buddy !
  • Jerk !
  • This is why you are not my favorite brother.

And these are only the printable ones.. Some were NOT as kind. And yet others just did not respond at all.

Some of these i suspect are directly related to my hub pages articles and their respective topics. (see links below to those referenced).

I came from a large family of conservative, (politically: un-named), catholics, and a few who converted to Mormonism (why, i will never know - just moving from one crazy cult to another), and of course, their disapproval of my becoming a spiritual gnostic who crazily thinks that everyone should be treated equally.

And, too, i suspect they fear that (as their religions teach them) i am provoking the wrath of God and he will soon raise his hand to smite me.

I also suspect they are trying to distance themselves from me, so that, that "smite-ation" won't spill over unto them or theirs, as well.

I do, on the other hand, suspect that God is quite tolerant and does possess a grand sense of humor - otherwise he would have placed the testicles in a less vulnerable spot.

...and now for that email:

The weathermen say the temperature is going to reach extremely high levels today, and everyone should check on the elderly and senile.




disclaimer: This is just a spoof, my family and friends (most of them anyway) are very supportive of me and my humble opinionated opinions.

The world needs more laughter in it.

People are so "testy" today that they take offense to anything not "politically" correct, or humor directed towardard silly religious belief, or toward their own personal biases, and will sue anyone for anything at the drop of a hat.

by: d.william 08/22/2011

Who dropped that hat ???

This is my new hat that my smart ass son bought for me for my birthday
This is my new hat that my smart ass son bought for me for my birthday | Source

© 2011 d.william


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    • justmesuzanne profile image


      7 years ago from Texas

      :D I can't imagine how anybody could take offense to the comment! Cheers!

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      No problem. I did not take any offense to the comment, i just thought i had better clarify my own intentions. Thanks again.

    • justmesuzanne profile image


      7 years ago from Texas

      Yeah, I'm not disagreeing with you. I just thought it was funny that I had just a few seconds before posted that comment from Dennis elsewhere then read your comment here... :)

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      Thanks again for commenting. Taking a stand and offending others in the process is counter productive. I have learned that I can get my point across by being a bit kinder than i would like to be. If i am not so offensive in my statements people tend to read and digest the information better, instead of reacting - they interact. Opening a civil dialogue of discussion is more productive than causing angry argumentation and bad relations. Anyway, that seems to work better for me, without compromising my own thoughts and ideas which most people find radical and controversial to begin with

    • justmesuzanne profile image


      7 years ago from Texas

      “Sometimes you have to take a stand without regard to what the political consequences are going to be. I’m not seeking to curry favor with what I’m doing. If you don’t take a stand, what are you here for? This isn’t ‘Dancing with the Stars.’” ~ Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio)

      I just happened to have that handy having just copied and pasted it elsewhere, so decided to throw it in! ;D

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      Thanks for commenting. Since i have been writing on this site, i have learned how NOT to offend people by their feedback. I have learned that using language that is too specific toward any cause, is taken quite personally by those who disagree, so i have toned things down to speak about things in general and this seems to have a greater impact even on those who have opposing points of view.

    • American_Choices profile image


      7 years ago from USA


      People can be so cruel. Words are sharper and more damaging than weapons and it is words that start wars. As communicators, as writers, we must be on guard.

      My Grandfather always advised me to pick my friends well - you are stuck with your relatives. This sage advise is also true at work and on the Internet. People don't change, their soul either shines through or spills out hatred. You can tell by their words and their deeds.

      God is tolerant - it is us humans who need to not be judgmental.

      You are a gifted writer - so glad you are here!

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      You are always welcomed to comment at any length on my articles. And you are correct that i was always a shy child, but always meticulous in everything i did (including my school work) which spilled over in to my working years. I did much better in a supervisory role than anything less.

    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 

      7 years ago from New Jersey

      Hi There,

      Well, I'm sure relieved I'll have some good company in Hell! My Irish relatives say, "I'd rather be laughing with the Devil than crying with the Saints." They are all nuts too, lol. About the tarot, the Motherpeace round one is highly unusual. No wonder we are attracted to it. Those hubs have become my most popular, believe it or not. It's a very hard deck to learn, because of the feminism slant, and since both authors went to Berkeley in college, I'm sure some of those images were the product of some magic mushrooms and such. Both still write today, and seem to back environmental causes, and of course, women's causes. But the Rider Waite is the most popular deck to read. You need to have a good working knowledge of that, or another deck, to be able to work with Motherpeace. I worked with it for about a year, and writing those hubs were what finally helped me with it. As far as your birthday, you seem more Cancer than Leo to me too. Some years your B-day can be as late as 7/23 and you are still Cancer, not Leo. But every planet is in a sign, not only your sun. Mercury (your mind, how you think and learn) and Venus (your social and love nature) have faster orbits around the sun. Many of us have Mercury or Venus in a different, yet close sign to our sun sign. If you were shy when young, that could mean a Venus in Cancer. You seem very intelligent, so I would guess your Mercury is in Gemini. It's not too expensive to have a computer generated chart done, and they tell you all that. Sorry to write a whole book. I'm working on a Metaphysical blog full of evil topics, so I'll see you--well, you know where!

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      Jean Bakula:

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. You comments are always welcome here. Funny, you should mention the tarot cards - i rummaged through my old papers to find MY deck of tarot cards so i can try again to master them. (OH, well, at least if i go to hell, it will be in good company). I used to tell those bible thumpers that if going to heaven meant i would have to live with their stupidity, i will opt for the other choice.

      Yes, it was me who told you about seeing lights around people when i was young. I wish i had not been so discouraged, and made to feel guilt about it, i could have had a brighter life as a medium than a nurse. LOL. Kids with these 'special' gifts should be nurtured not criticized for having them.

    • profile image

      Jean Bakula 

      7 years ago

      I really enjoyed this hub! I just got about a half page lecture on one of my tarot hubs, telling me I was going to Hell for my practice of Spiritism, general evilness, and wait, there's more! I didn't even bother to look at the name of the person, since they are brainwashed, and I am on here to write, not fight. If only they were on here to write, and not preach. I agree with a post I read above, I think the Bible has been totally misinterpreted and Jesus would be really upset with what a mess was made with the New Testament. I wish people would lighten up. I still like you :). PS. My son has a kindergarten student who "sees colors around people". Wasn't it you who saw auras while young? The child was wise in telling my son, he's been brought up knowing and thinking all this "yikes" forbidden stuff. Have to go to Hell now I guess. Peace.

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south


      Thanks for reading and your comments. And, yes, i too, spent most of my life feeling that MY opinion was of little relevance, but i am sure making up for it now.

      Your comment: "90% of anxiety is caused by other folks.." - the reality of that statement is this: 100% of our anxiety is self induced. We ALLOW others to influence our thoughts and emotions, when in fact they should (do not) have that ability unless we allow them that privilege. THAT has taken me a life time to conclude and concede to.

      The old saying that 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me' is the real truth. Words coming from another person's mouth is nothing more than air vibration into your ears. They truly have no physical or mental effect unless we allow them to.

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      always exploring:

      Thanks for reading and your comments. Glad you saw the humor in it - just my cynical side exposed. L.O.L.

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south


      Thanks for reading and your comments. I added the disclaimer at the bottom, but i should have also added that this was just meant to be a comical hub. See my comments above to chefsref.

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south


      Thanks for the comments. Actually this was meant to be funny. I did not REALLY send this to all in my email address book. If i had, i am sure it would have been taken in the spirit in which it was meant. I try not to do 'forewords' any more in my personal e-mailings. I know how tedious those can be and they clog up you mailbox, and are really annoying.

    • Credence2 profile image


      7 years ago from Florida (Space Coast)

      Well, D. It took me almost a lifetime to learn to like myself, take myself out from the market of public opinion, simplify and find peace. 90 percent of anxiety in life is caused by other folks. Unlike all those troubled teens, peer pressure is completely irrelevant these days. Thanks for the chuckle Cred2

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      7 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I laughed all the way through this, and i love to laugh. I think some people just hate the thought of laughter. I, for one, stay away from negative people, but some times that's difficult to do, esp. if it's a family member, and i have one who hasn't smiled in years. LOL


    • justmesuzanne profile image


      7 years ago from Texas

      "I do... suspect that God is quite tolerant and does possess a grand sense of humor - otherwise he would have placed the testicles in a less vulnerable spot."

      I totally agree with you! You got a lot of thin-skinned friends and relations if they were offended by your e-mail. Voted up and funny! ;D

    • chefsref profile image

      Lee Raynor 

      7 years ago from Citra Florida

      Hey D

      The email seemed pretty funny to me. My mother is 93 and we tease her about her poor memory but she enjoys the joke and returns a tease. Perhaps you should winnow your address book and delete the chaff

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      Thank you for reading. As always, a pleasure to have you visit and comment. I have found over the years that i have had to tone down my opinionated comments, or at least use them at more appropriate times, when kindness and nauseating sweetness fails. L.O.L.

    • Chatkath profile image


      7 years ago from California

      Many times, people are unable to deal with real opinions or the "raw" truth, and I on the other hand, tolerate them quite well, as I secretly wish that I could say what I "really" feel more often instead of what is socially appropriate in order to keep the peace. Somewhere there must be a middle ground? Or maybe that is why I enjoy writing...

      I say you should keep on telling it!

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      Thanks for stopping by and reading. And the answer to your question is: you either dropped it, or threw it in the proverbial ring.

    • d.william profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      Thanks for visiting and your comments. Being logical and centrist is not necessarily defined as having a dual (split) personality. Or did you actually mean "duel" (as in argumentative) personality? Not to correct your English (spelling) as some people have done in the recent past, (L.O.L.) but either word in that sentence has a totally different meaning.

      I quit worrying about what others thought of me many years ago. The only approval we ever need to seek in life is our own. If we do what is right (Christian) then we do not need the approval of others. I have always championed the underdog, and always will. Although the new mentality today is that it is "every man for himself" politically and financially. We forget that there are people who actually NEED assistance, for whatever reason, and tend to judge everyone by the actions of a few rotten apples. Take the welfare programs for example - it does need to be overhauled, not abolished. There needs to be more stringent criteria for people applying - and yes, drug testing is one of those criteria.

    • mckbirdbks profile image


      7 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      anybody seen my hat?

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image


      7 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      Good work. You know, people in general are afraid of things that don't fit into the assigned slots it seems. I've had a bit of a problem with that all my life. I'm a little of this and a little of that, and I just can't fit into any of their slots. I'm a little conservative a little liberal. I think everyone has value. Some have'n learned how to find it yet, but have value non the less. I love Jsus and believe the Bible, but believe that it's been conviently mis interpreted and taught with a slant that causes it to lose credibility with some. Even Christians like myself. I've managed to make this duel personality the finished product that I am. When I quit worrying what people thought of me, the product became appealing to some, and that's my band of merry warriors I guess.

      Great hub causing me to reflect my friend.



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