What is Wrong With the South?

What is really going on in the South??? I live in a wonderful southern town in a lovely southern style home complete with screened-in back porch furnished with a Wal-Mart porch swing. The days are long and lazy, the birds and critters are delightful. The neighbors are friendly; a little nosy (in the south this is to be expected and can actually be a good thing ), but, friendly none the less.

So how come there are so many insect pests here? (Dear God, I see in Genesis where you made the fowl of the air and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. I just want to know what category flying stinging things fall under?)

Please.... A wasp or two I can deal with... a spider or water bug now and then can easily be squashed. But, these flying, stinging things are intolerable.

It was a wonderful summer morning. I had lain before the Lord in prayer on my favorite prayer pillow. I'd made my confessions of faith and was looking forward to an excellent day. I opened the french doors which lead to my screened-in porch stepped out ready to release the melodic song that was rising in my heart, when, there it was.

On my fence, within 10 feet of my porch was this, this thing. It was nestled between some vines that should have been cut weeks ago. It had the oddest shape and to my chagrin there were creeping, flying things going in and out of this enormous hole which sat strategically near the center.

As I looked my memory flashed to my neighbor who 2 years earlier called my attention to a similar though much, much larger object of the same substance and shape. I recall that he said it was a hornets nest. (Hornets Nest???-Why???). It was on my Bradford Pear tree and had to have been 3 feet long.

His 7 year old son was outside playing and discovered it. Fortunately for us all, it was inactive and vacant. He went on to tell me the story of how when he was little, his dad found one that must have been 5-8feet long...(that's what he said..) and how his dad cut it down and hung it in his bedroom. (Why he did that I do not know.) Anyway, he never forgot that. (Would you have forgotten that? Not Me!)

I thought it prudent to not waste time. I needed to find some of that stuff that you can spray on stinging bugs nests from 20 or 30 feet away. I looked under my cabinet... there was none there so, I jumped in my car and rode the 5 minutes to Home Depot. Their Garden Center would know.

I was right, not 10 minutes from the time I got there was I returning home, weaponry in hand. I was gonna get em, yes I was, yes I was!

I waited until early morning. Well, it was still dark, but technically it was morning. I passed through the screened in porch and crept onto the deck. I started praying and spraying... In the Name of Jesus' die flying stinging things, die! I emptied a half can of spray on the nest.... no change.

When the sun was fully up you could see that these critters were undaunted by the bug spray...

Not one to give up, I waited until the next opportunity and emptied the can of spray, aiming for the entrance.

This time, it worked!!! Praise the Lord! I guess it worked exceptionally well because the next day the nest was disintegrating, it looked as if someone clawed it. At first I thought some other critter tore at it. I still don't know and I don't care. My objective was meant. The nest and its occupants were no longer a threat to me, my property or my nosy neighbors.

Having successfully murdered the residents of the nest hanging on my back fence, I went along quite happily; studying the Word of God, and trying to get deep spiritually. It was all good, God was in heaven and all was well with my soul. Until about 3 days later when I went out to the side of the house in my front yard and what did I find. Another nest!!!

This one was hanging out of reach in a tree.... Help Me Jesus! I need thee, oh, I need thee!!! Another nest.... why???? A body shouldn't have to deal with more than one peculiar pest a year... Was this a test? Where is the scripture reference???

When I discovered the second nest in that tree in my front yard. I was outdone. My other neighbor rather nonchalantly said, "You know, if you get stung a couple of times by those wasps, you should go on and go to the hospital. With saucer sized eyes, I humbly asked him, "Why". In his north-eastern accent he replied, "Well, their venom is kinda slow acting. It could be hours before the full effects manifest in your body. "WHAT!!!!!???!", I replied. "Yuup...", he countered.

There must be a benefit for the existence of these creatures... I needed to know - even though I was gonna kill them regardless. I searched good ole Google and found the following:

Although most people think of wasps as pests, they benefit mankind and the environment in many ways. They help control arthropod pests (flies, caterpillars, bugs, spiders, etc.) by preying on them. This really does help to cut down on the use of harmful pesticides. This is healthier for our environment in the long run. Wasps are also used in research and experiments. In some places in the world, people use the immature stages (larvae and pupae) of wasps as food for a good source of protein. Therefore, the benefits to humans far outweigh the harm which they do._{http://www.angelfire.com/ok3/vespids/intro.html}

I think this is wonderful information, but I still scream..."Death to the Intruders!" I did feel a little more compassion for the bugs after reading this but I was not convinced that I should show mercy.

This time I called my godson who is an exterminator...He would help me. When told him the situation, he said he would give me a professional product which was extremely effective. I was hoping he would say that he would come and do it for me, but he didn't. I was glad that he gave me the spray.

I am now armed and dangerous... even though nagging in the back of my mind is these phrases from my Google search..

"NOTE: these insects should not be killed unless they are in an area that poses an immediate threat" and "the insects abandon the nests in mid fall never to return to the same nest".

I still haven't sprayed the nest. I hesitate only because I have considered the facts that the nest is on an infrequently passed through area and that Fall is just a few weeks away I am just a little unsure if I should go forth or patiently wait. What would you do?