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Funny Pun about Stanley the Snail

Updated on April 10, 2014

Stanley the Snail

There once was a snail

His name was Stanley.

He was young and daring

So virile, so manly.

He was also womanly

I kid you not, my dear.

Snails are hermaphrodites

You read that here.

Have you ever wondered

Where are the eyes on a snail?

They are not on its head.

They are not on its tail.

Snails have four tentacles

On its head they are found.

The longer two each have an eye

So the snail can see the ground.

Stanley lived a pleasant life

No worries, no kids, no wife.

He didn’t work,

He didn’t toil,

He lived on a trust

From his uncle who struck oil.

I mentioned he was daring

He would bungee jump

Without a quiver.

But one day

The knot came loose

And he fell into the river.

It took a month or more

For Stan to reach the shore.

Since it took him forever

To travel very far.

What Stanley wanted

Was a very fast sports car.

Stanley was a bit

Of a dreamer.

He would have liked

A Stanley Steamer.

He searched on Craigslist

To no avail.

Those cars were antiques,

None were on sale.

He looked at an Audi,

It was too gaudy.

He test drove a Ferarri,

It was really a honey.

But the cost was obscene,

Far too much money.

Then he found

A sharp Mazda Miata

Close to the ground.

With options? A lotta.

A snail only has one foot

Which looks

Like a flat belly.

Changes were made to the car

To eliminate

Stan’s slimy jelly.

He ordered the car

It would be his ride,

And told the salesman

I want a large S on each side.

No problem said the dealer

Though that’s not the norm.

You will have to fill out

A special order form.

So Stanley ordered

And paid for the car

With a large S on each side

That you could read from afar.

Stanley the Snail
Stanley the Snail

The dealer asked,

“I would like to know.

Why do you want the S?

So large it will show?”

Said Stan, the man,

With his face all aglow,

“I want people to say,

‘Look at that S-car go!’”

I have always believed that a pun is the lowest form of humor . . . unless you think of it yourself!

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011, 2014. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"


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