Golden Moments Golden Days.
Good day one and all ;uncannily I was very indecisive of whther to add an intrduction on here but decided against it. Then Marie one of my commentators said that at the start she couldn't quite work out what this hub was about and suggested an introduction.; so here we are. I do not want to carry on and on but with new readers I think it is important at times to share the whole story again.
A time of contemplation rises its head every so often and today I look back at my earlier life and right up to the present day.
From the depth of terrible childhood abuse from as far back as I can remember (my father was finally imprisoned) onto the young age of seventeen when I married an abusive alcoholic twice my age. I stayed in the marriage for 26 years and had six children.
Back in 1999 my only sibling Val a talented musician and wonderful person took her own life then in 2009 my youngest daughter Erin also passed away.
Somehow or other I have travelled my road and through my writing I can say with utmost honesty that I finally know who I am!! .Of course sadness washes over me at days; I wouldn't want to pretend otherwise but I have three words that have become a coping plan for want of a better phrase .
I accept what happened in my past years; I also expect to feel sadness at times ;however I also appreciate all that is good in my life today .
I have lived my life being surrounded by Mother nature and her beauty; oh how I love the surrounding countryside here in my Welsh home.
Also after leaving my ex I made a vow never to enter into another relationship but never is a long time and today I am with a wonderful person and we have been together for eight years ;we both share so much and love nothing more that to explore out welsh countryside sometime son foot; in the car or on our Honda 1100.
Today I appreciate all this and also to having 13 grandchildren.
Here I share some poetry which describes a little of how I have travelled over the years and also to share so others may be helped on their journey also.
A journey
beginning
with gaping pot holes
with sharp thorns
exposing and tormenting
causing those wheals of pain.
Discontented
regimented
to live a million lies
to feel the pains of life.
To see the things
Never should have seen
never felt
that deep void
where beauty and truth should have lain
empowered..
Sightless eyes
listless ways
To push away your words
ears never listening
a heart never allowing.
To live a life of fantasy
an instinct in
survival mode;
A heart non trusting
of the ways of others.
People playing mind games
loving leering
in dark sadistic modes
to see such tears;
Never trusting
never sharing.
Darkness and tears prevail !!!
A journey so vile !!!
Where are
golden moments
golden days?
Then in survival mode
sunshine shone;
the rose's sweetness
overcome the pain
in each lingering
gripping
and
scarring thorn;
learning the love in a mother's heart;
sweet birds adoring their baby chicks
maternal instincts raging through
tenderly but surely.
Flowers opening
tenderly bewitching
Tall tress
holding nests of a home so sure;
Each meadow
each silver threaded streams
Sunrises enchanting
sunsets heartwarming.
Each green meadow a playground
in a child's magical world.
Struggles in life
that tender look
soon awakening
each weary being
laden with worry.
To find those
golden moments
golden days ?
Take my hand
follow my steps;
Each cloud has a silver lining;
I awaken to a refreshed world
shining through
the sun's golden wonders.
The sweetness of life
linger dreamily
in tender moments
and
now from a heart so sure.
Spirits arousing;
feelings surmising;
a brand new era
fresh scented aromas.
Pains gone by
as my battles won
making me complete
making me a
person whole.
True heart so sweetened
and I am
blessed with
a faith so strong.
I cast aside the dark
and
devilish fantasy;
lingering in cold and
dark
chambers ;
once reeking of sour mustiness;
rotting
nightmares
now
self-strangled by Satan's own
vile and evil power.
Today with a miraculous force
awakened from a sleep
with a soul
so strong
I have finally overpowered each fiend
arising
evolving
into a victorious
realm of freshness;
a symbolic reality
of true worth..
I made the journey
I share each stumble;
my faith
now rising
to heights anew;
each lesson I have learnt
tasted
and
shared;
a wondrous
over powering self worth;
so close
to the realisation that
I am so near
to those
golden moments
golden days.
Oh Mother Nature
I owe you eternally;
such wonders you share;
you give but do not take;
my sweet angel of true love
your treasures
to flow so freely.
Your tears are now a dew drop's potion
dripping in a magical gleam
enhancing the fields of green.
Bitterness chased into a sharp oblivion
sunshine shining where gloom once reigned.
Painful shadows flee
each decaying mound
of the stagnant stench of trash
today a caressing paradise
created by the loving hands
of a warm and wholesome heart.
Devoid of a single doubt
a single distrust
but filled with a strong belief!!
I today know for sure
from deep into my inner being
that today's paths has lead me
into the hypnotic realms of
golden moments
golden days.
A few words to end; I just want to say that no-one has the right to take away our happiness and no-one has the right to stop us from finding ourselves. I have learnt to listen to my inner being by today and Know for sure whether I am on the right path or not .Losing my sister and daughter were of course so very painful and still is on days .
A year or so after my sister's passing I found the strength to leave my marriage and have also set up a trust fund in my daughter 's memory ( Erin Jones friend of Ty hafan.) our only children hospice here in Wales.
We raise money though various functions and so far have raised over £4,000 .
I wish you all a wonderful day and remember you have the right to live your life fully ;just move forward with your head held high.
Lot of love from Wales to you all.
Eddy.
