ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Grandnephew Bob Hitler, Carnival Barker

Updated on September 15, 2011
Grandnephew Bob Hitler, Carnival Barker
Grandnephew Bob Hitler, Carnival Barker | Source

If you should happen to be right in the center of historic old Cologne, Germany, at exactly eleven minutes past the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the year — or, in other words, at precisely 11:11 a.m. on November 11th — you will bear witness to the beginning of the traditional German festival known as Karneval, which marks the start of the Lenten season of denial. And, if so, you are likely to see that Karneval kicked off with a roisterous and rousing rendition of Rhineland huckstering, as performed from the makeshift podium of Mr. Bob Hitler of Austrian lineage (oh yes, he is a surviving grandnephew of that Hitler!).

For Mr. Bob, as he is invariably known to one and all about the sawdust-strewn streets and alleys of the makeshift midway of merriment, is the hailer, the hawker, the hortatory host of this sprawling scene of revelry and mayhem. Games and amusements abound for the little kinder, while rides, floats and parades entertain those of greater years. Adults are invariably drawn to the drinking songs and contests of the beer tents and temporary alehouses, while many menfolk finish off the evening with a brief visit to The Snakewoman, The Hareem, Elena the Exotic, or any of the other more sordid, sexy, sleazy attractions.

Through it all, above it all, in front of it all, Mr. Bob maintains his perch of primacy as the emcee to each day’s activities (as well as the sole ticket-taker). His straw boater is always firmly in place, pinning that distinctively slicked set of forelocks diagonally across his forehead. His bow tie is eternally tightly tied about his corded Teuton neck, so much so that it waggles entertainingly as his Adam’s apple bobs with each spiel. The pastel pink pin-stripes of his linen barbershop-quartet-style shirt are perennially perfectly perpendicular to the horizon. Best of all — and very unlike his much more famous great-uncle — Mr. Bob’s facial expression never varies from a blankly bland and vacuous stare into the middle distance, displaying no emotion, nor any workings of an inner mind, and thus upsetting absolutely no one.

You might therefore say that Mr. Bob Hitler, carnival barker par excellence, is a cipher, a shell, a nix, a nil, a blank, a void, a clean slate, a goose egg, a ghost, a specter, a nothing, a naught, a nobody, a zero.

(Well, as we learned only too well during the days of the Third Reich, there’s a lot worse things one can be than a zero!)

Since the end of World War II in 1945, virtually all of the living descendants of Hitler’s extended family have altered their names, to disguise any connection with their reviled ancestor. However, since the reputation of a typical carny worker cannot be much besmirched by — and may, in fact, be elevated by — an association with an assuredly mad and pathological dictator, Mr. Bob has dutifully opted to keep his original family surname.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      Rick Zimmerman 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks, Kevin! Hope you enjoy more of my wacky humor.

    • KevinC9998 profile image

      KevinC9998 

      7 years ago

      That was an interesting hub. Voted up!

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      Rick Zimmerman 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Lundmusik: As all good Germans (and Austrians) know: no guts, no glory.

    • lundmusik profile image

      lundmusik 

      7 years ago from Tucson AZ

      that's a great story, and the guy must have a lot of guts,,

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)