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How to Make Unwise Financial Decisions

Updated on January 20, 2016
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!

Financial Advice for the Rest of Us

If you are looking for good financial advice, you have obviously come to the wrong place. Don't worry - the internet is full of articles encouraging you to make sound, practical financial decisions. You can just search the web and find plenty. The information you are going to read here is for everyone else. Would you prefer to make some unwise financial decisions? Are you tired of spending your money on appropriate expenses? Would you like to blow your savings and party? Well, now - you've come to the right spot. Let's be irresponsible together!

This economy is really ruining the fun times for all of us. I remember going bowling, going to clubs, going out to eat every weekend, and attending concerts. You know what I do for fun now? I monitor my checking account, attempt to pay down my credit cards, clip coupons, and look for sales. Do you know what that makes me? A responsible adult - yeah, yeah, sure. You know what else that makes me? Horrifyingly boring!!!

So let's forget about it all for now. Let's be irresponsible (if only for this brief time while reading this hub) and let's be financially irresponsible. Let's reflect on what we can do to make some unwise financial decisions.

Saving Money = Boring!

The first piece of unwise advice I can give you is let's stop saving money. Who needs that nest egg to retire anyway? After all, when you are old and not working, are you really going to care whether you eat noodles from the dollar store or something delicious? You totally will not care! You are not working! That alone is awesome. You won't even care about food or living large. Just the fact that you don't have to drag yourself out the bed to go somewhere miserable all day will make your day.

So stop saving that money for a "rainy day." After all, it is rainy and unhappy right this second. Spend that money as fast as you make it! Just remember that many financial analysts say the economy will never recover if we don't start spending money and helping out the stores. Well, it sounds like we are really more than just shoppers - we are saints for spending our money!

Not a Gambler? Better Start Now!

Have you ever played the lottery? If not, you'd better get on board. If you are only spending a few dollars a week, you'd better step it up. Try to spend at least $10 a week. Who needs food if you have the slight chance at winning millions of dollars? Also, start giving scratch off tickets a chance, too. What could be easier than grabbing a penny and finding out if you've won $100,000? After all, you can often even find a penny on the sidewalk. Hello! You are already earning money... first a penny, then $100,000.

Do you like casinos? I'll bet you do and you may not even know it yet. Casinos are starting to pop up all over the place, especially if you live on the east coast. So search for casinos online, find one you like, and jump in a car, train, bus... whatever! Just get to the casino and see if you are a big winner. No matter what, you'll feel like a big winner when the free drinks keep coming.

Credit Cards are Your Friends

You might already have some good friends, but do you know the names of your new best friends? Their names are MasterCard, Visa, American Express, and Discover. What beautiful names! This sounds like a really awesome crew. Imagine all the fun you and your new gang are going to have! Even if you are already acquainted with this crew, brush off the dust and start bonding with them again.

The first place you want to hit with your buddies is the mall. No discount stores will do for you and your pals. Don't bother looking for sale items or coupons. After all, it is not really like spending money at all. Forget about how annoying it will be when all those bills start rolling in. Live beyond your means! It is a blast while it lasts.

You Need a Nice Home for All Your New Purchases

Do you live in a crummy apartment or with a roommate? Well, that is never going to do. Now that you've bought the hottest new fashions and best home furnishings, you are going to need a new apartment, condo, or house to compliment your new belongings. You don't want to look really cute but step out of an average looking home, do you?

You need to start looking into the fanciest apartment buildings, condominiums, and neighborhoods. When you find something you love, don't pay too much attention to the price of the rent. You will find a way to pay for it. Since you've been gambling, I am sure a big win is in the future somewhere. So go ahead and sign a new lease. Get you new stuff and move into your awesome new place. Your friends will be so jealous!

Just Ignore Those Pesky Collections Calls

So now that we've all had a smashing good time, the bills and reality are starting to roll in. Geez, it is like some people just don't know how to have a good time. Eventually those annoying calls from the collections agencies are going to start. That is not such a big deal. After all, you can always change your phone number, or perhaps fake an accent and explain in broken English why they have the wrong number. Imagine all the fun you can have with that situation?

You Always Wanted to be Closer to Your Parents

After really blowing all the money in the checking account, savings account, and maxing the credit cards, it will be a challenge to pay your bills. It might also be a little awkward staying in your home after that whole annoying eviction incident. Well, as it turns out, you've been missing your parents anyway. So why not move back in with them? Surely, they will be happy to see you.

If your parents have skipped town and you can't find them, try your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Start crying and stuff, and they will surely let you live with them. When they see all the cool new stuff you purchased during your shopping sprees, how can they say no? Offer to give them one of the huge flat screen TVs you just bought and I am sure you've found a new home.

Some might say you've hit "rock bottom" but I disagree. You've partied, you've splurged, and you've spent! I hope you had fun while it lasted. Those were some good times. Sadly, all good things must come to an end. The good times have indeed ended, but the whole "becoming financially responsible" deal is just beginning. Ummm... so have fun with that.

DISCLAIMER: Don't actually take any of the advice in this hub. I cannot be held responsible. Unless you do play the lottery and actually win. By all means, share a little of the riches with me.


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