ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Mac(Hub)Beth: A Tale of Treachery, Ambition, Murder, and HubNuggets

Updated on April 26, 2018
RedElf profile image

Elle Fredine (RedElf), photographer, published author, Elle loves seeking out new writers, and catching up with old friends

A Tragically Romantic Adventure-Comedy in Four Acts


The HubNuggets team managed to escape awakening the Mirror-Cracked for Canada Day and the Fourth of July celebrations, but a stray fireworks awakened it, and now the team has been catapulted through the Mirror-Cracked and burped out into a crazy, mixed-up Shakespearean reality...

The Scene: A blasted heath at night. Circling the smoking brazier, several figures in tattered cloaks are barely visible in the fitful, flickering light of the glowing embers. The shadowy figures cackle and caper as they weave their dark spell, casting vile bits of stinking offal into the filth-crusted pot that bubbles on the brazier.

First Witch: When shall we five meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain? (The witch team-leader throws the eye of a newt into the pot.)

Second Witch: Prithee, not in rain - it maketh my antlers all moldy. (He dangles a bat's wing over the malodorous liquid before dropping it in.)

Third Witch: Nay, then - when the hurly-burly's done! When the battle's lost and won... (Hisses, and retrieves her tail from the hands of Fourth Witch, saying,) That's "wing of gnat," not "tail of CAT"!

Fourth Witch (humming like a good-humored Bee as she casts the wings of several gnats into the pot): Your pardon, I prithee, friend cat. My lashes be smattered with the brazier's soot.

Fifth Witch (sternly, recalling the other witches to their business): Double, double, HubNugget trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

First Witch: What treachery speak you, friend PI? Lord Jason of Menayan hath the marketing of that treasure.

Fifth Witch: Not so! 'Tis said the fair Lady Simone doth walk the battlements at night, wailing for the lost treasure. But soft, who comes?

First Witch (turning to face the three cloaked riders who have come upon them): Good sirs, cast off thy cloaks that we may see thy faces and make prophesy for thee.

Fifth Witch (recognizing one of the men, calls out): "Hail, MacHub - Cawdor, that was! Hail, MacHub - Thane of HubNuggets that shall be!

The witches swirl about MacHub and his men, bowing and cackling incantations, then vanish along with the cauldron, leaving the men to make what sense they can of the prophesy.

MacHub: Double-double? I'll take mine "to go", eh.

Image by RedElf - photo from
Image by RedElf - photo from
The ghost of Ladie Simone walks the battlements - Image by RedElf - photo from
The ghost of Ladie Simone walks the battlements - Image by RedElf - photo from
Hamlet Anderson, Rosenpantz and GuildenBee with Lord Jason - Image by RedElf - photo from
Hamlet Anderson, Rosenpantz and GuildenBee with Lord Jason - Image by RedElf - photo from

Act 1: Hamlet - Prince of HubNuggets

Scene: The battlements of the castle. It is midnight, the hour that the ghost of Lady Simone walks the night calling for justice, and seeking a champion.

Ghost: Alas, and woe! Will no-one right this dreadful wrong?

Enter Hamlet Anderson, Teamleader, and Prince of HubNuggets, with her two school chums, B.T. Rosenpantz and his sidekick, Zsuzsy GuildenBee. They cautiously approach the ghost.

Hamlet Anderson: So fair and foul a day, I have not seen. Forsooth, good soul, speak you!

Ghost: Murder...murder most foul...Good Hamlet, thine Uncle Felonius hath murdered thy father, married thy mother, and the Golden HubNuggets Wannabes are lost. (The Ghost holds out her hand to Hamlet, and a sheet of parchment flutters to rest on the parapet.)

Hamlet: The HubNuggets Wannabes lost? Good Rosenpantz and GuildenBee, we must haste to England to find them!

Ghost: ...but, Hamlet! Good Lord! Er, I mean - good, my lord - thy mother...thy uncle...

Hamlet (aside to Rosenpantz and GuildenBee): Methinks yon ghostly lady doth protest too much. (to Lady Simone's Ghost): As I know a hawk from a handsaw, they shall be dealt with - but now, we must away to England!

Rosenpantz (nudges GuildenBee, who picks up the parchment and presents it to Hamlet): ...a letter, my lord Hamlet.

Hamlet: Alas! Poor Yorick! - I knew his handwriting well, Horatio, er, sorry, Rosenpantz! (Reading the letter) Why, look you sirrahs! 'Tis part of the HubNugget Wannabes treasure...

Which one of this week's Home, Family, and Parenting nominees is your favorite?

  • 12% Bench Moms vs. Chihuahuas
  • 12% Deciding Whether or Not to Hire Piano Movers
  • 15% Keeping your children safe
  • 38% Mommy Tricks: Single Mom's Guide to Saving Money and the Planet
  • 8% The Benefits Of Drama Classes For Children
  • 15% The Day My World Got Rocked
26 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Romeus and Pattiette - Image by RedElf - photo from
Romeus and Pattiette - Image by RedElf - photo from

Act 2: A Tale of Star-Crossed HubNuggets

The Scene: Verona by moonlight - the balcony outside the window of fair, young Pattiette Capulet. She is reading a parchment by the flickering light of a candle.

Pattiette (gazing out at the moon): Ah, Romeus, Romeus! Wherefore art thou, Romeus?

Romeus (B.T.) Montaguepants (enters below, gazing up at fair Pattiette's fair silhouette): What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and fair Pattiette, the sun.

Pattiette (rushing to the balcony): Romeus, thine antlers have bewitched my heart, and thine nifty hose and doublet doth beshew thy manly form.

R.B.T. Montaguepants: My nifty hose doth chafe my manly form, but soft! Who lurks there behind thy tapestry?

Nurse Ripplemaker (appearing from behind the arras - a famous, French-woven tapestry much favored by Shakespearean lurkers): Fair Pattiette, Gentle Romeus, thy two houses, both alike in dignity, will not allow thy love. Thou knowest of the bitter feud o'er the greatest treasure in all Verona - one scroll of the HubNuggets Wannabes. Though I have journeyed throughout all Hub Pages, offering my congratulations to each new-chosen scribe, I cannot uncover the hiding place of the scroll.

Pattiette: Good Nurse, thy scroll lies in my chamber, upon the very bed where Romeus and I would pledge our love.

Nurse (removing a vial of poison and a dagger from her robe and placing them upon the ledge): Climb up then, Gentle Romeus, and we three shall peruse this treasure.

R.B.T. Montaguepants (ascending to the chamber): With love's light wings will I o'er-perch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out. (Glancing nervously at the poison vial and the dagger, he crosses to fair Pattiette, taking her fair hand in his): We shall on the morrow hie to Friar Laurence's cell.

Pattiette (linking both her fair hands to his): Yet saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and paw to palm is holy palmers' kiss. Fair Romeus - let us read:

Which one of this week's Technology nominees is your favorite?

  • 7% Hands On Review Of The New iPhone 4
  • 4% How to Make Money on a Viral Video
  • 39% Search Engine Ranking Optimization. The Beginner's SEO Checklist.
  • 29% Technology and the extinction of interpersonal communication
  • 18% The next iPad: Eken tablet computer (w/ Google Android)
  • 4% The Reasons Why You Should Buy The New iPhone 4
28 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

QueenZsuzsy Spangle-Wings - Image by RedElf
QueenZsuzsy Spangle-Wings - Image by RedElf
Sweet Shirley-Vine, PI-Blossom, and Rosy-Red Elf - Image by RedElf - photo from
Sweet Shirley-Vine, PI-Blossom, and Rosy-Red Elf - Image by RedElf - photo from

Act 3: A Midsummer Night's HubNugget

The Scene: The woods near Athens. Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings, Queen of the Fairies, slumbers, holding a tiny scroll, unaware of the mischief-making band of HubNugget Wannabe-gathering fairies that encircle her.

PI-Blossom: Oh, what fools these HubNugget-hoarders be! She loves the Wannabes, and would keep them for her own, but King Jason-Oberon desires that all may read the last HubNugget Wannabes scroll.

Sweet Shirley-Vine: The course of true love never did run smoothly.

Enter B.T. "Puck" Fairybloomers, who, having put a girdle round the earth in forty minutes, returns disguised as Bottom, an Athenian weaver, and bearing a suspicious resemblance to an ass - er, wearing the head of an ass - with antlers.

PI-Blossom: Bless thee, "Bottom"! Bless thee! Thou art translated.

Rosy-Red Elf: Prithee, anoint Queen Spangle-Wing's eyes with the magical juice of that flower 'ere she awakens and sees yon ass.

B.T. "Puck" Fairybloomers winks at Elf, as PI-Blossom squeezes the flower juice onto the eyelids of the slumbering queen, who immediately awakens.

Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings: What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

Bottom/Fairybloomers: A sweet-face man; a proper man, as one shall see in a summer's day.

Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings: Sweet-faced angel, I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, where oxslips and the nodding violet grows. Wouldst thou thither to read this scroll with me?

Bottom/Fairybloomers: Fair queen! Let us but read them here, and I shall hence, with thee. (Queen Zsuzsy Spangle-Wings flutters her long, sparkling eyelashes at the ass-headed jackalope, and unrolls the scroll...)

Which one of this week's Education and Science nominees is your favorite?

  • 18% "Enuf is Enuf!": Should we Simplify the English Language?
  • 7% Greatest Urbanists (Part 1)
  • 14% Sweet Coffee : Bitter Addiction
  • 5% The Derivative of a Function
  • 9% What Your Favorite Color Says About You
  • 48% Why I am Considering Homeschooling my Child
44 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

My ducats! My gravy boats! Image by Redelf - photo from
My ducats! My gravy boats! Image by Redelf - photo from

Act 4: The Merchant of HubNuggets

The Scene: A courtroom in Padua. Judge Menayan, Portia Anderson, and B.T.Shylockpants enter to hear the verdict in the case: "How to become eligible to be nominated as a HubNugget Wannabe":

Portia Anderson: The qualifying of a HubNugget Wannabe is not strained - it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the earth below:

  • Neither a borrower nor a lender be - write, within the last seven weeks, thine own original words on one of the featured topics
  • It is twice blessed, for thy author score shall be 75 or better, and thy qualifying hub shall attain a score of 55 or better
  • Thou shalt be a fresh-faced writer who joined three months ago or less

B.T. Shylockpants: Oh, noble judge, most learned judge! A boon - I beg of thee a boon! My thousand ducats! These youths, these HubNugget Wannabe striplings owe me yet a thousand ducats! ("Ducats" is an olde Shakespearean word, that, we believe, roughly translates to "gravy boats")

Judge: Nay, good Shylockpants, thy gravy boats are forfeit. These striplings, these beardless new writers have out-promoted thee!

B.T. Shylockpants: Nay, good judge! How make you this judgment?

Judge: Good Shylockpants, these HubNugget Wannabes must call on all their family and friends to vote for them.

  • They shall tweet, twitter, post on FaceBook,
  • Digg, and blog about their hub, to advertise their writing to all the world.
  • Then, the lucky nine who receive the most votes will be proclaimed HubNuggets, and their hubs shall be sent out to over 60,000 other hubbers in the weekly newsletter.

B.T. Shylockpants: My ducats! my gravy boats!

Portia Anderson: My goodness! Calm thyself, good Shylockpants! Thou shalt get other gravy boats, and, for now, "All's well that ends well!"

© 2010 RedElf


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)