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Updated on June 4, 2011
Speeding Ticket
Speeding Ticket

Speeding

An old lady was speeding on the highway. A young policeman stops her.

He says “Did you know you were speeding “

She replied “No I wasn’t”

He said “Can I see your driver’s license please”

She said “I don’t have one”

He said “Can I see your registration”

She said “I don’t have one”

He said “who’s car is this?’

She said “I don’t know, I just jacked it”

He said “What? Where’s the owner?”

She said “I shot him and put him in the trunk”

The young policeman is getting worried, so he calls for back up.

The police Captain arrives with six more men.

The Captain asks the Lady “May I look in your trunk please”

She replies “Yes of course”

The Captain opens the trunk. There is nothing in there.

He asks “May I see your license”

She replies “Yes certainly” and produces her license.

The Captain asks “May I see your registration”

She replies “Yes you may” and shows him the registration.

The Captain stutters “Err, I don’t understand, my policeman said…….” The old Lady interrupts “Who? That young man, he is a lying SOB, he probably told you I was speeding too”.

Adam and Eve

In The Biginning

In the beginning God created Adam. He was happy with his work.

God asked Adam “Is everything alright? Does the fruit taste good? Do the animals treat you good”?

Adam replied “Yes, everything is good. I am happy”

A few weeks passed. Then God again spoke to Adam “Is everything alright? Does the fruit taste good? Do the animals treat you good?”

Adam replied “Yes, everything is good but I am getting a bit lonely”

God thought about this and then said to Adam “I can make you a companion. This companion will wash you, feed you, tend to you if you are sick and will obey your every command. I must be honest with you though, your companion will cost you an arm and a leg”

Adam pondered this for some time, then replied “What can I get for a rib?”

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    • profile image

      markbennis 5 years ago

      LOL i like this hub very much, just great.. :)

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 6 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      These were funny.

    • Lady Wordsmith profile image

      Linda Rawlinson 6 years ago from Lancaster, UK

      I'm going to be that old lady :)

      Linda.

    • profile image

      gogogo 6 years ago

      Thanks for a good laugh

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      An oldie:

      My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money.

      It was my grandfather.

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