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One Little Smile Can Help Your Day

Updated on June 2, 2011

Smile A While

Two Men Talking. One man says he has concerns that women can become airline pilots. The second man says, "no worries, they don't have to reverse or park".


Last month I went on a "once in a lifetime holiday". Never again.


Satan and Jesus were arguing. Satan said Jesus was giving him a bad name. They could not agree, so decided to take the matter to Court. St. Peter told Jesus that he had made a mistake. Jesus said "why, I have truth on my side". "Yes", St. Peter said "but he has all the lawyers".


When asked, "what words would you like to hear said over your coffin?" The man replied, "Look he's still breathing"


Confucius said "Man who makes love to girl on grass, has peace on earth".


A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street. They found a chest full of money. The Catholic said they should give it to the Church. The Anglican said they should throw it in the air, what comes down heads they give to the Church and tails they keep. The Rabbi said "Throw it in the air, what God wants he can catch".

Take your pick.
Take your pick.

The man was in a Hospital bed dying. His wife told him to relax. He said he couldn't, he had a confession to make to her before he died. He said he had slept with her best friend, her sister and her mother. The wife replied, "I know, now just relax and let the poison do its job".


A man with a receding hairline at the front, is said to be a thinker. A man balding on top, is said to be a good lover. A man with both just thinks he's a good lover.


How to keep an Irishman amused for hours. Put him in a room full of shovels and tell him to take his pick or give him a piece of paper that just says P.T.O., on both sides.

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    • Lady Wordsmith profile image

      Lady Wordsmith 5 years ago from Lancaster, UK

      He he :D

    • kevin scott profile image

      kevin scott 5 years ago

      funny

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      You learn something new every day.

      Cheers.

    • rafken profile image
      Author

      rafken 5 years ago from The worlds my oyster

      P.T.O. means please turn over. Nothing personal. Keep hubbing, thanks for dropping by.

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      Good lot of laughs there, but am I missing something.

      What does P.T.O mean?

      Oh by the way, I,m Irish.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      (snicker!)

    • TheOneWhoKnows profile image

      TheOneWhoKnows 5 years ago from Croatia

      Funny hub :--)

    • nycgrl profile image

      nycgrl 5 years ago from New York

      hahahaha my favorites are the female airline pilots joke and the one with St. Peter and the lawyers, thanks for making me laugh, we can all use a daily one!

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