ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

One Little Smile Can Help Your Day

Updated on June 2, 2011

Smile A While

Two Men Talking. One man says he has concerns that women can become airline pilots. The second man says, "no worries, they don't have to reverse or park".


Last month I went on a "once in a lifetime holiday". Never again.


Satan and Jesus were arguing. Satan said Jesus was giving him a bad name. They could not agree, so decided to take the matter to Court. St. Peter told Jesus that he had made a mistake. Jesus said "why, I have truth on my side". "Yes", St. Peter said "but he has all the lawyers".


When asked, "what words would you like to hear said over your coffin?" The man replied, "Look he's still breathing"


Confucius said "Man who makes love to girl on grass, has peace on earth".


A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street. They found a chest full of money. The Catholic said they should give it to the Church. The Anglican said they should throw it in the air, what comes down heads they give to the Church and tails they keep. The Rabbi said "Throw it in the air, what God wants he can catch".

Take your pick.
Take your pick.

The man was in a Hospital bed dying. His wife told him to relax. He said he couldn't, he had a confession to make to her before he died. He said he had slept with her best friend, her sister and her mother. The wife replied, "I know, now just relax and let the poison do its job".


A man with a receding hairline at the front, is said to be a thinker. A man balding on top, is said to be a good lover. A man with both just thinks he's a good lover.


How to keep an Irishman amused for hours. Put him in a room full of shovels and tell him to take his pick or give him a piece of paper that just says P.T.O., on both sides.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Lady Wordsmith profile image

      Linda Rawlinson 7 years ago from Lancaster, UK

      He he :D

    • kevin scott profile image

      kevin scott 7 years ago

      funny

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 7 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      You learn something new every day.

      Cheers.

    • rafken profile image
      Author

      rafken 7 years ago from The worlds my oyster

      P.T.O. means please turn over. Nothing personal. Keep hubbing, thanks for dropping by.

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 7 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      Good lot of laughs there, but am I missing something.

      What does P.T.O mean?

      Oh by the way, I,m Irish.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      (snicker!)

    • TheOneWhoKnows profile image

      TheOneWhoKnows 7 years ago from Croatia

      Funny hub :--)

    • nycgrl profile image

      Veronica 7 years ago from New York

      hahahaha my favorites are the female airline pilots joke and the one with St. Peter and the lawyers, thanks for making me laugh, we can all use a daily one!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)