One Little Smile Can Help Your Day

Two Men Talking. One man says he has concerns that women can become airline pilots. The second man says, "no worries, they don't have to reverse or park".

Last month I went on a "once in a lifetime holiday". Never again.

Satan and Jesus were arguing. Satan said Jesus was giving him a bad name. They could not agree, so decided to take the matter to Court. St. Peter told Jesus that he had made a mistake. Jesus said "why, I have truth on my side". "Yes", St. Peter said "but he has all the lawyers".

When asked, "what words would you like to hear said over your coffin?" The man replied, "Look he's still breathing"

Confucius said "Man who makes love to girl on grass, has peace on earth".

A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street. They found a chest full of money. The Catholic said they should give it to the Church. The Anglican said they should throw it in the air, what comes down heads they give to the Church and tails they keep. The Rabbi said "Throw it in the air, what God wants he can catch".

The man was in a Hospital bed dying. His wife told him to relax. He said he couldn't, he had a confession to make to her before he died. He said he had slept with her best friend, her sister and her mother. The wife replied, "I know, now just relax and let the poison do its job".

A man with a receding hairline at the front, is said to be a thinker. A man balding on top, is said to be a good lover. A man with both just thinks he's a good lover.

How to keep an Irishman amused for hours. Put him in a room full of shovels and tell him to take his pick or give him a piece of paper that just says P.T.O., on both sides.