I MUST BE A DINOSAUR
HELP
Ladies and gentlemen, and fellow hubbers I have come to the conclusion that I must be a dinosaur!!!!!!!! I am totally out of touch with modern society and the mores with which we guide ourselves. I was never a suave and debonair person, but I was in touch with my feelings and very empathetic with all of humanity. Back in the 1960’s I played in a rock and roll band so I was a little bit hip. I was never a stud or anything like that, but I got my share and enjoyed my life to the utmost!!!!!!!!!
Today I find myself a lost soul and my life is plummeting into the abyss of despair and hopelessness. I am totally out of touch with modern society and I don’t know what to do about it. In my previous hub “ DANGER-DO YOU KNOW THIS PERSON” I spoke about being true to oneself. I try to live by my own advice but I am finding it almost impossible to do. I’ll cite the follow examples:
- I still feel like being a gentleman but I get confused how to accomplish this goal in modern society. After the feminist movement (much of which I agreed with) such as equal pay for equal work, equality in every area, etc, etc. I just don’t know how to act around the fairer gender (started to say sex but didn’t want to offend). I was taught by my parents and everyone important in my formative years to treat girls, or women in a special way. Today that may be found to be offensive!!!!!!!!!!! What an old dinosaur like me to do?
- If I open a door for a lady will I get a polite, “Thank you sir.” or will I get an icy glare or a comment like, “ Male chauvinist pig!” ?
- If I complement a lady on her personal appearance will I get a smile, or a thank you, or a charge of sexual harassment?
- I try to be civil in a discussion and I’m branded a wimp, if I am assertive I’m an aggressive ass, what’s to do?
Folks I was trained by my parents in ways of decorum and behavior. One example from my first grade year I had my first girlfriend in first grade, Peggy Kittle and she was OK but not my choice. I went along with her wishes and then I met Debby Hinds and I fell in love. Peggy had lost her front teeth anyway so I told her she wasn’t my girlfriend anymore. When she saw me on the playground with Debby, I could see the rage in her eyes and she cornered me between the school and the gym. It was the worst beating I ever had in my young life because I knew if I fought back my mother would kill me. So I took the beating and never even defended myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What can an old dinosaur like me to do in modern society? Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments
oh... Tom...you are a perfect gentleman and you ought to be very proud of yourself...sorry about the beating part...
I wake up my son with a kiss on the forehead and tell him "Wake up o Prince" and he would open his eyes.smile and tell me "Five more minutes, Mom" and then he would cover himself with the comforter again.
It means I needed to wake him up 5 minutes later and then he would get up and get ready for school.
It is a gentleman's agreement and although scholastically there are many things that a parent would be proud about him, the one thing that I have taught him is to be a gentleman and that is the one thing he will take wherever he goes.
He is grown now and when I go to his room and it is in chaos, I tell him "You are a Prince, there is no vacation from being a Prince and a Prince would never live under these conditions" and he would laugh and laugh.
I gladly join you in being a dino, Tom,[curtsies before you]
Tom I must be a dinosaur too. Ther ain't a thang wrong with being a dinosaur and maybe labeled square or an old fogie. It's the way we were raised and I am very proud to be what I am and proud to know you, you old fart!
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msorensson,
I'll gladly say thank you so much for being real classy lady and I'll bow to your curtsie!!!!!!!!
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Robert,
Thank you for your kind comment. It's nice to know that I'm not alone!!!!!!! You are a true gentleman!!!!!!
Joining your dinosaur club, Tom! I have no solution or advice for your 'dilemna' except to say, "Please continue to follow the early teachings from the significant adults in your life. I'd find it most disgruntling if a man 'our' age didn't hold the door for me, etc."
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mizparker2u,
Thank you for your visit and kind comment. It not like I have a choice all my upbringing taught me to act as I am!!!!!!!!
If you're a dinosaur then the world needs more of you. Any woman worth knowing would adore a man like you.`
Tom, I love dinosaurs. I enjoy a man opening a door for me, or giving me a deserved complement. I like to be treated like a lady and I try to treat men with consideration as well. I know there is a new generation out there that view things differently, but "to thine own self be true." We are only responsible for our actions, not the reactions of others. If I can lie down at night and know I've been kind and that I've done the best, then I think that is okay. Maybe I am a dinosaur too?
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Pop,
I hope there are many, many others who feel the way you do.
I'm kind of trapped being what I am!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Pamela,
I would be proud to open a door for you or comliment you with due considerations to your fine qualities. Thank for your kind comments.
I agree with Pop.
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mizparker2u,
I'm starting to blush. I have always been a little shy!!!!!!
Tom,
You know I am NOT a feminist by any means. Whether the left likes it or not, women and men are different. I appreciate when a man holds a door for me, it would be rude to NOT say thanks. I agree in equal pay for equal work, but there are some jobs that women just cannot perform as well as a man. SORRY if anyone is angered, and that is a generalization--there are always exceptions to anything. I think of a firefighter. What if there is a 250lb man who needs to be carried down a ladder? MOST women would be incapable of doing this, but they would be hired anyway if they passed a test, because quotas MUST be met!!!
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Sheri,
I see you are aware of my plight. I taught both of my daughters to apply themseves and do useful work but always be a lady so men can be gentlemen!!!!!!!!
Even though I saw women do good work in the dingy, dirty factories I worked in it always hurt me to see them in those circumstances.
In my experience, it has nothing to do with age. A man is either a gentleman or he's not. The ones who aren't simply use the excuse of women's rights. As for you, your mama taught you right and it doesn't make you a dinosaur.
Tom, if you open a door for a woman and find you get an icy greeting, then it must be a negative reflection on that woman's ability to be tolerant. It is also a lack of respect on her part for the previous generations that enabled her to be able to express such contempt.
For me it worked the other way. Walking into a building one day I encountered an awkward situation as a girl of about my age was approaching from the other side. I reached the door first and quickly darted through, to which she made a negative remark. I thought to myself that women have got what they wanted, equality and by getting that they have given up their right for 'special' treatment. I don't know if you have heard the phrase 'to have your cake and eat it' but it certainly comes to mind.
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sheila b.,
Thank you for your kind comment, if I acted otherwise mama would come after me out of her grave. I can't act any other way but what I've been taught!!!!!!!!
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premierkj,
I have heard the phrase, "Have your cake and eat it to", but I have to act like I was taught by those I love!!!!!!
Tom, be you and do what is right. It is the other person's problem if they do not like manners and politeness.
Keep on hubbing!
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eovery,
I think you good advice. I will just be myself as that is the easiest course.
Hi Tom,
~Hell hath no fury like that of women scorned~...even among six year olds.
You're not such a dinasaur..manners never go out of style -not in my book anyway. Of course as a feminist I can see we shouldn't expect [gender specific]chivalry AND equality...but we can have manners and equality..
Just stick with that and you can't go wrong.
Cheers
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Jane Bovary,
I always try to be courteous. This is true regardless of gender. I just try to be particularly courteous regarding (gender specific) because that's how I was taught.
Cheers Tom - common courtesy and manners are severely lacking in today's youth - we need more dinosaurs and a movement back towards that, respect is something all of society needs.
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billyaustindillon,
Thank you very much for your kind, and courteous comment.
Tom, I find in dealing with the word trade here on Hub Pages that people are generally quite kind. It's folks like you I see and hear each day that make up the crowd I hang out with most often. After being on other sites where I seemed to be surrounded by angry children who threw big rocks and hid behind their key boards.
You have been personally one of the morning crowd that displays courtesy in the wee hours that most wake up grouchy you seem to wake up in a good mood and if not you present yourself well. I'm happy to trade words with you any old time. If simple respect makes one a dinosaur, then count me in. I have a fault though, and I know it, I give what I get, and sometimes I get what I've given. I can tell you one thing for sure, I've never blatantly called a "Lady" a "smart ass" in public and don't suppose I ever will. I do know that if I ever did I'd apologize in public rather than remove the history that I made a huge mistake. That type of behavior is that of a coward in my personal opinion. I think my response to another quite closely before I push "post comment" to be sure I've not published anything like that, that I'd be sorry I did. I believe your one who doesn't have to think long as you've always been respectful from the posts and hubs you have done and I really appreciate that! God Bless You and Yours
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50 Caliber,
Thank you sir for your kind and complimentary remarks. I think you are very much a gentleman. I guess if being so makes us dinosaurs then we are both proud dinosaurs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree totally with your comments about saying bad things to a lady in public. If I did such a thing without a public apology my late mother (God rest her dear soul) would jump out of her grave and come after me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you are a fine fellow. Just keep being yourself and don't worry about other people's hangups. Some folks just ain't got no sense. Not you—your fine. :D
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James,
Thank you for the compliment. I truely appreciate hearing it from you!!!!!! (8D)
You are a gem - a true Southern gentleman!
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habee,
Thank you for the compliment. I try to be a gentleman. I'm not sure if I qualify as a southern gentleman since I'm from 24 miles north of the Mason-Dixon line. My grandpa Whitworth grew up in Bluefield which is about 150 miles south of here.
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