ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Let's Put an End to Zombie Prejudice

Updated on January 17, 2014
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie is a huge fan of Halloween and loves everything that is ghoulish. You can often find her reading or writing horror stories.

Zombie Prejudice

We've all heard about it: the zombie apocalypse. I've seen a number of articles, books, and even hubs about it on this very site. There are so many ridiculous ramblings about how you can fight the zombies, how the zombies are coming to get you, and how you can stay safe during the zombie apocalypse. Well, I want you to know this is all crazy.

Zombies are actually lovely people. Yes, I said it. Some of you do not have the nerve to admit you have a problem, but you do. You sit there judging the zombies and spreading vicious rumors about them. Have any of you taken the time to get to know the zombies? I daresay you have not!

Sure, sure, maybe you have been nice enough not to run any of them over with your car. Perhaps you've even waved at your zombie neighbor when they are in the driveway eating an arm or two off a corpse, but that is as far as it goes. I'll bet you would not allow one in your home. You certainly would not let your son or daughter date a zombie. Well, looks like you are not so open-minded after all. My friend, zombie prejudice is real and running rampant. Let's put an end to zombie prejudice.

Ways to be Friendly

Have you noticed cats and dogs (the occasional person) missing from your neighborhood? Has a new family moved in and they keep to themselves? Perhaps you see one of them slowly staggering down the driveway to get the mail. Maybe an arm or an ear falls off along the way. Well, looks like you've got a zombie family in the neighborhood!

You will certainly find some neighbors are going to be less than pleasant with the new folks. You may hear them use terrible terms like, "killer" or "walking dead." How unfriendly is that? You can show you are different by giving them a gift. For instance, what zombie wouldn't appreciate a nice package of ground beef thrown on their doorstep? You can even wrap it in a bow! What makes this the perfect gift is the more ground beef you give, the less likely any of your neighbors will turn up missing.

When you walk past one of your new zombie friends, make sure to smile and nod as you walk by. If the zombie starts to reach for you, just give them a friendly wave and walk briskly. Zombies typically cannot run very fast, although I suppose that is a zombie stereotype and I should not mention any stereotypes. Wow! See, we all have so much to learn about ending zombie prejudice!

Dating a Zombie

I don't just sit here on my high horse and lecture against zombie prejudice. Oh no, I practice what I preach. I've dated zombies in the past and I am not ashamed to admit it. Of course, I did not realize I was dating a zombie at the time, but now that I look back, all the signs are there.

I've often found myself hanging out with guys in dark basements (usually owned by their parents). In many cases, what I thought was just body odor must have been the stench of rotting flesh. After all, these guys that live in their parents' basement often don't want to go outdoors and they move quite slowly if you force them off the couch. Yes, all the signs were there! I have dated zombies... maybe that was what happened to the neighbor's poodle. Hmmm.

Films that Promote Zombie Prejudice!

Zombies Everywhere!

I hope this has been an educational moment for you. After all, I am here to help. Let us all do what we can to end the terrible prejudice that has plagued zombies for years. If we can do that, I am sure that zombie apocalypse we've all heard so much about will never happen.

You see, zombies are people just like any of us. Sure, they are not really alive and they like to eat brains, but we can't hold that against them. They have a terrible zombie disease coursing through their veins. Don't they deserve to live out their last days in peace?

Copyright ©2011 Jeannieinabottle


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)