Marches n' Mays pt. 6
It was nice to be a hostage though. The halo-halo was really delicious and colorful. Caught by its presentation, I was just surprised to see him already finished his meal and his Halo-halo completely before me. Unbelievable. I was not a turtle, was I? However the gulaman, red mongo, sweet beans and sago were not the only things I had to chew and guzzle down my throat. It was also his stories.
I slithered forth the sun. As I went nearer, I closed my eyes and its gleaming rays pinched my cheeks.
He already had a son, for about months old. He was supposed to be wed last month but on the day of their engagement, the family of his fiancé rejected him because of not having a stable job. Worse, he was not recognized as the father of his son at the baby’s birth certificate. There was a big conflict. I felt his heart was in deep chaos. This time, I thought, I should also be by his side just as how he stood to help me in time when I thought there was no way out. Jeric needed to be reaffirmed, of his worth. He was also left hanging in uncertainties of hopes and promises. He was in complexity of ifs and maybes.
Inevitably, I too, suddenly became a part of his complexity...
His ex-girlfriend also took a degree in Psychology. His youngest twin sister, on the other hand, also took Psychology and Hotel and Restaurant Management — courses that I had bumped my self into. That instance, I remembered why he had that weird reaction in his face when I mentioned that to him when we first met. Perhaps, he could see her… and them… and the others in me.
Jeric was of peaceful eyes… but not pure. He had put himself on different relationships. He admitted that when he was at my age, his father was not around and he was very aggressive. He used to have three or five girlfriends at a time. He almost enumerated them to me. He had a nurse, two Japayuki… a Psychology Major… a Physics Major… and so on. I only had to gulp them down my consciousness. And then he disclosed it was only Marissa, whom he really wanted the most. “She was a sanguine and a Psychology Major… just like you. We had an on and off relationship for years but now it’s totally over… Damn, I really thought that I would now settle and have a family of my own.”
But could it be… that all along, I was just seeing myself in him too? Perplexity continued. I was trapped. I was still in a terrific hangover from the Anchor’s Away ride. And it was easy to empathize with Jeric. Yet, when I was with him, it felt like I had a big brother and that I had a close friend and sometimes a boyfriend. It was stupid, but with him, I was safe.
and from a terrific Anchor's Away hangover..here I am again...
Everything seemed fast… we only had known each other for a week. Within that span of time, it felt like we’ve known each other very well. I didn’t feel like I was hurried. With him, I was free to be me.
Up until now, I still wonder why I rode in his car though there were hesitations… that he would do something nasty… or dirty. I had good intuition and defense mechanisms but that moment, they malfunctioned. I just followed what I felt like doing. Was it love at first sight? Or just a fling?