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My Very First Voluntary Poem

Updated on June 16, 2012

The Inspiration

As you can see in the title I have chosen, this is my first poem, unless you want to count the poems I was required to write in High School(which I can count on my two hands, or possibly even one). So why do I start now?

I have only been on Hub Pages for a week now and have read several amazing and awe-inspiring poetry by some incredible poets!

I am currently following several, but to mention just a few who have especially caught my eyes:


Tony Delorger

If you are not following him check some of these hubs out!

1. A Fool's Lament

2. It's True....a poem of gratitude


HattieMattieMae


Check out some of her hubs!

1. Deep is the emotion

2. Deep love that you chime


So back to the hub, yes this is my first voluntary poem. I expect all encouragement and criticism both. I have no idea what I am doing. Hope you enjoy!



What Has Happened?

The window is wide open,

The curtains are flappin'

Her bed is laid empty,

What has happened?


Did she fly away-

My precious baby girl

What has happened?

My mind is in a whirl.


What has happened?

I love her so much

She must return home,

I miss her warm touch


The touch of her gentle hand

What has happened?

Swelling pain in my heart

Miss her smile and her laughing.


The window is open,

The curtains are flappin'

Her bed is laid empty,

What has happened?


All rights reserved josh3418 June 15, 2012

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey, I'm impressed! I have never tried poetry and I doubt I will for sometime, so I applaud you for giving it a go! Great job!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you, I am not sure what to think about it. I am hoping to have some poets critique it. I am not even sure if the rhythmic pattern makes sense :)

      Thanks Bill for the read!

    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Good job Josh, and thank you for the mention. I believe poetry to be story telling as an entree, succinct and meaningful. It requires two things, something from the heart and a pure expression of how you feel or perceive something. You're off to a great start. Enjoy!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      First of all, thank so much for the visit!

      You are welcome for the mention!

      Second of all are you serious? It was a good start?

    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Poetry, like all forms of writing is about communication, and having an open heart to begin with is a huge advantage. If you can express what you feel and learn the rules and art of language you'll be able to write poetry with ease. At the beginning its a good idea to read a lot of different types of poetry- I experiment with many. It gives you both parameters and creative ideas as to how you express yourself. A journey begins with a single step. let you passion drive you. T

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you very much for all of your advice, I greatly appreciate you and will be reading your hubs frequently!

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 4 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Very nice josh, for a first timer. Hmm... my advice would only be write one every day, or a few. The more you do the easier it gets to write from the heart and soul. This is what I did the last year, just wrote every day for hours what ever came to mind. Of course I have listened to a lot of genre music, poetry on hubpages, and just have to write. Funny thing is I never read anyones poetry but on hubpages. Fortunately i wanted it that way so the ideas and thoughts came from my own mind and not someone elses. Think most writers would say reading is helpful. Which it is. I just like to bend the rules. lol Well thanks for using me in your hub, and the support! Think practice is the the best remedy for anything until you're perfected. :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you very much for your great comment and encouragement! I will definitely take it to heart! You should become my follower so we can share each others work. I have appreciated your works so far; but I am new, so I have not gotten to read all of your work yet. There is so much to do here on HubPages and so little time! Thanks again, and have a wonderful weekend!

    • Civil War Bob profile image

      Civil War Bob 4 years ago from Glenside, Pennsylvania

      Dang...good stuff, Josh!...up, beautiful, and interesting. Reminds me of the song Rev Tevye sings about turning around and his girls are grown up. Gotta share this one...

    • Joy M profile image

      Joy M 4 years ago from Sumner, Washington

      Good choice on a simple-four line rhyme scheme for your first poem. I also liked your use of flappin' in the first stanza as it invokes images of birds. You might wish to keep that imagery going by using fly away instead of run away, perhaps mentioning her song and her laugh. It was a good first effort but the imagery needs polishing.

      Looking foward to see what you write next.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Very humorous poem and creatively written with a great flow.

      May I suggest you continue on this genre? You have a creativity for it and I enjoyed this.

      I'm a huge fan of humor as well as poetry.

      Glad I found this.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks CWB for your visit and votes and share, very much appreciated!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you Joy, I took your advice. I really appreciate it! Really I do! Thanks for the visit new friend :)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks shining for your visit and encouragement! Really appreciate the time you took to come over and read!

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

      This poem is so beautiful and well written.

      Voted up and awesome, Joyce.

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Joyce for sentiment and encouragement; it is people like you that drive me to keep going!

      Thanks for the votes :)

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 4 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Well, after only one week on HP, I'm excited to see what week two brings for you. Good job!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you very much lifegate! :) That means a lot to me! :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Nice first shot, Josh! You're still young. Live your life, do for you in order to become the man you want to be. Then, you will be ready to share your life. Consider those who do not see your path are merely stepping stones to your destination.

      I'm impressed with your fortitude. At your age, I only had attitude!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you so much Shauna, this means alot to me, I really appreciate it! :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      I'm here any time you need me!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks again, appreciate it :)

    • Michelle Taylor profile image

      Michelle Taylor 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Wow, for a first voluntary poem this is really good stuff. It's always difficult to be creative when you are being forced to put pen to paper so it's very refreshing when you get out of high school and realize that you can write just for the sake of writing. Definitely continue to write as much as possible when inspiration strikes. If you're anything like me then it will undoubtedly strike at 3 in the morning!

      I will impart some advice a very wise person once gave me - Whenever inspiration strikes, no matter what time of day or night, write it down! Never let your mind wander and lose your train of thought. Even if it's 3 am, get up and start writing :-)

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      LOL, thats actually what I did for this poem, except it was 4:30 in the morning! :) LOL

      Thank you for your insight and encouragement and advice! Voted up, awesome, useful, and sharing! (Oh wait it is only a comment not a hub hehehe :) )

      Thanks Michelle!

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      wow. your poem is soo ahhmazing Josh. Im so glad to read your works. Very awesome. Voted it up!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aww, thanks M, that means so much to me, I really appreciate it! Really I do! :)

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 4 years ago from New Zealand

      What a fabulous first poem. You have style!

    • josh3418 profile image
      Author

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank you very much penny! :)

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