NOT OLD - YOUTHFULLY CHALLENGED!
Waking each morning with joints talking BACK,
From deep in the chest - a wheeze and a HACK!
A glance in the mirror - a new facial CRACK,
Flesh once young now mottled and SLACK!
Bursting to piddle, woke twice in the NIGHT,
Risked missing the bowl - diminishing SIGHT!
Once safely mounted, plagued by a fresh PLIGHT,
The once-bursting bladder - now suffers STAGE FRIGHT!
The Doctor, the Dentist - the UROLOGIST,
Retired, thank God, cause The Boss would be PISSED!
What's this on my tushy - a new 'hemmy' or CYST?
One more lovely question to add to THE LIST!
Meds replace SEX as the favored DISCOURSE,
Fornication no longer the mind's driving FORCE.
Please don't misinterpret - there is some REMORSE,
But cake for dessert is a HUGE pleasure SOURCE!
Hush Puppies and walkers - can't kick like a FLAPPER,
Light up the night - with that shiny new 'CLAPPER'!
Stylishly dressed in jammies and WRAPPER,
Easily shed on the way to the CRAPPER!
And yet there's no question, with all of life's WOES,
Still much to achieve - whence mobility SLOWS.
Should this flower wilt - another one GROWS,
The fact of the matter is: THAT'S HOW LIFE GOES!
(Not Quite) The End...
GEORGE CARLIN ON GROWING OLD...
WANT MORE? I'MKAR'N IS FULL OF IT....
- Women Wanna SPOON - Men Wanna FORK ALL KNIFE...
Where females crave SECURITY, Companionship for LIFE - Men fantasize the woman, Who BEGS to FORK ALL KNIFE...
- If LIFE Doesn't Kill You - NOTHING WILL
Using the LIFT - Nary mounting a STAIR, Blood pressure SUCKS and so does HEALTH CARE!
- FOREPLAY: The INS and The OUTS...
You've heard it before boys - straight from her heart, There's work to be done 'fore those legs come apart...
- Endomorph Body Type: Ode to The Endomorph...
The Endomorph too seldom sees the beauty of her wares, Discounting all the compliments, the whistles and the stares!
- BOTOX: Taking a Few 'JABS'...
Demanding 'BABY-BOOMERS' - Used to getting all they crave. Perchance this damned stuff kills 'em? They'll look GORGEOUS in their grave!