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If LIFE Doesn't Kill You - NOTHING WILL

Updated on April 25, 2013
IF LIFE DOESN'T KILL YOU? NOTHING WILL
IF LIFE DOESN'T KILL YOU? NOTHING WILL
EXCESSIVE SUN..
EXCESSIVE SUN..
EXCESSIVE BOOZE..
EXCESSIVE BOOZE..


Too much FAT and too much FUN,

Excessive BOOZE, excessive SUN!

Much too PAUNCHY, too few GYMS,

Capitulating to our WHIMS!


Using the LIFT, nary mounting a STAIR,

Blood pressure SUCKS and so does HEALTH CARE!

Rebuffing the SALAD, hoarding the CAKE,

MORE must mean BETTER - apply not the BRAKE!


Now a tad NAUSEOUS - add amplified STRESS,

Needing more TOYS - 'The Jones' to IMPRESS!

Tossing and TURNING, 'Dow' racing DOWNHILL,

If LIFE doesn't kill you?

NOTHING WILL!

SMOKING WITH KNOWLEDGE..
SMOKING WITH KNOWLEDGE..
COMETS FROM SPACE..
COMETS FROM SPACE..


Over-WORKED and over-SEXED,

Lacking BALANCE - lacking CHECKS!

Bad boys and fast WOMEN - making the SCENE,

Feeling like NINETY - acting SIXTEEN!


The kiddies, the IN-LAWS - the deadlines that HOVER,

Gut in a KNOT - no time to RECOVER.

Smoking with KNOWLEDGE, cancer comes NEXT,

Whence it so FOLLOWS - shocked and PERPLEXED!


Sink holes, mud slides, comets from SPACE,

Ducking those BULLETS takes luck and GOD'S GRACE!

Hurricanes, earthquakes, the odd OIL SPILL,

If LIFE doesn't KILL you?

NOTHING WILL!


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    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Les...This is a scream...I love it. Very clever and much too funny. We do live in a whirlwind of craziness at all times, don't we??

      So good to see you. Hope all is fantastic with you, girl! ...Up+++

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      I'm never sure what's right and what's wrong anymore. So I simply do exactly as I please. My second time here and will most likely be back again. Absolute genius my beautiful friend. Audrey

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 3 years ago from USA

      Lovely rhymes and funny too. Long time no see. book is published now, would love your input. on lulu.com under "The Road to Mental Health: A Practical Guide For the Consumer, Family, and Friends"

      Not as exciting as yours of course, which I bought twice lol....have a great week and weekend.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 3 years ago from San Diego California

      Very enjoyable and readable rhyme. Great stuff!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 3 years ago from london

      Leslie - Very funny, humorous, excessive and ....

      I mean well, though. A dose of practicality is always 'cool.' Alluring pic on profile. Much peace this Sunday.

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 3 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Straight forward and factual.... That is your niche .. I guess

      Nicely written

      As I always preach.. life is an ultimate postponement of the inevitable end..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      Hi, Rolly...

      Sorry it took so long to respond, but i spend little time on the hub other than to read my friends..like YOU!

      it rarely occurs to me that someone might message me...

      HUGS back atcha, R

    • mts1098 profile image

      mts1098 3 years ago from InsideTheManCave

      A brilliant piece - I love the perspective - cheers!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 3 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi ImKarn23... scary reading this, somewhat resembles reading my life all over again... but I am trying to change... excellent read as always...

      Love and Hugs from Alberta

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      Glad you enjoyed, Truthfornow! Have a wonderful wednesday!

    • truthfornow profile image

      truthfornow 4 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      This is very fun and funny. This sums up life alright lol.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @X: You missed one? I'm CRUSHED! lol..

      kidding of course X - i adore your support - as always!

      HUGSXX

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Frank...You may have to follow me to my new blog...i make it oh so simple..lol

      your choice of course - never any pressure! Nice to see you enjoying your time here tho!

      Thanks for laughing - it's the highest tribute!

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      This is great! I never know what to do because when I try to do something right, the second I do it, someone has a study that says its wrong!!!

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Great share here, Frank. I don't know how I missed this one.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      damn girl I never knew the sense of humor you had.. I am on the floor laughing my azzzzzzzz offf!! Fantastic hub!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      I wouldn't go so far as that! hahaha! Yet, if one's battle is important, what is effective for advancing it has merit, so long as it's honest & true.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nellieanna: Yes...so true! Just ask Teflon Don...lol

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      HAHAHA! You're so cute, Leslie! So are you, Vicki. hehehe.

      Leslie, that really is a coincidence that you used the butter simile without having seen Vicki's use of it in her metaphor! Amazing! As they say, GMTA!

      As for being EFFECTIVE armor, butter has its own potent powers! ;-)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Vicki: Lol...PHEW - that was close! There is no 'groaning' allowed here - neither audible nor silent! Your opinions are welcome here - even if they differ..

      BUT - i DO adore when folks agree with me - must admit!

      HAHA

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Vicki: OMG...Vicki - i SWEAR i responded to Nellieanna's comment before even glancing at yours..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nellieanna: Hmmmmm....clearly not as an 'effective armor' as i had thought previous to your PIERCING through it like it was warm butter..

      i adore you!

    • profile image

      Vickiw 4 years ago

      Nellieanna, I thought exactly the same. She just has a huge wooden spoon. When she's not spanking with it, she's stirring with it. Hilarious, but we won't tell anyone, will we?! I think she's actually soft as butter.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      Leslie! If you've been cultivating the acquaintance of more octogenarians who would dare enter & share your habitat, please introduce me to them. I find so few who would enter or participate in it!

      I adore you in every mood and moment; but your nature is not a sarcastic bitch. Sorry, that facet is not my perception or who Leslie IS, at any rate. That's an effective armor, but is not the person it projects & protects.

    • profile image

      Vickiw 4 years ago

      My dear Leslie, at it again I see! First thing that came to mind was, groan!!! Don't tell me I have to launch another view on this! Then I chuckled and realised we are in agreement here! Nothing to say, except you are so funny and so GOOD.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nellieanna: You can say it dear - I'm a sarcastic bitch!

      And - thank YOU!

      haha

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nellieanna: my dear - NOTHING that comes out of your mouth is negative! Please know that i know this! OK?

      OK!

      i adore and respect you!

      i may not have had many 81 year old friends before you, but - since meeting you - i am ferreting them out!

      HAHA

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      OK , OK - I did call you negative ;- but you were supposed to take it along with "Leslie, Leslie, Leslie" as a little loving chiding, because I don't like you to be upset with & waste your breath on 'powers that be' who'll be, anyway, when you've so much great work to just DO.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      ps - Love you dearly, too!

      (Besides, I don't call you negative, thilly! You're a stark realist. I'm an optimistic realist. You may be one , also, - at heart. I can't imagine you'd be such a powerhouse otherwise!)

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      haha - Like you have a whole passel of 81-yr.-old buddies! I have little real competition for favorite! haha ;-)

      It wasn't said in a negative way, though , Leslie. - It was, like - realizing the reality and saying OK - that's how it is, I can live with it in the meantime! Probably more positively than thinking oneself immortal here on Earth and frittering it away! NOW really is the ONLY time there IS. "Was" and "will be" ARE n-o-t. It would be like starting on a wonderful vacation without realizing that it's just for a week or two - whatever its limits are. Knowing it had a limited duration keeps it dynamic, real and NOW.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Anan: Oh, give me a home - where the buffalo roam - and... la la la da da da la la..(LOL)

      Clearly, my friend - we're gonna get along just splendidly - i am loving on your work as well...!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Lisa: Don't think i don't notice ya visiting my hub-corner, Lisa - i DO, and - i appreciate it!

      It makes me very very happy that you are enjoying my efforts..

      apparently - it's not for everyone..

      LOL

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Zulma: now - THAT"S funny!

      Doncha know by now that bitching is my spec-i-al-ity??

      Besides moanin' that is!

      Thanks so much for your support - AND encouragement, my friend..lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Rasma: You just keep a rockin' and a rollin' my friend! I adore your life-perspective - it GLOWS in your writing..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Eddy: Are you back???? I've missed you!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Nellieanna: My VERY favorite 81 year old - welcome!!

      LOL@a terminal illness!

      And you call ME negative...haha..

      love you, dear friend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Audrey: Lol..i wanna look like absolute crap when i hit that satin lining...haha...

      Thanks for visiting, Audrey! Have a glorious weekend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Ruby: Grrrrrr....i love it here, Ruby - the people that is! The admin? Not so much. They seem overly preoccupied with being beige - politically correct and non-controversial - than in doing ANYTHING to make the world a better place..

      Bottom line - FOLLOW THE MONEY i guess...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Cowboy: LOL...YOU NOTICED! You're my first...HAHA..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Debbie: Hello, Deb - I'm so glad you enjoyed!

      I know you've had a plateful for more than a little while and - a good belly laugh once in a while can't be a bad thing!

      Neither can a hug, so - HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGXX

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Spartucusjones: Hello, again - fashionably mysterious masked man!

      AND - a masked man with EXCELLENT taste, to boot! HAHA...omg..

      (HEY - i DO have class, folks - it's just all THIRD, ya know...lol..)

      So - Thanks!

    • Lisa Luv profile image

      Lisa J Warner 4 years ago from Conneticut, USA

      Such true words ....set up really creatively! GREAT JOB!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Dana: Grrrrrr....Dana, honestly - i get HEAVY vibes that the powers that be - wish i'd BE elsewhere..

      how can they disable advertising on that (this?) whichever - hub? There's NO reason - i've looked back and there are worse - that are fully 'advertised'...lol

      whatever..maybe the universe is pointing me in another direction - a book perhaps?

      i believe in signs...

      Commitment - that's a whole other baali of wax..

      lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Catgypsy: Thank you dear - please- come again!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Cat: LOL!!!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Deergha: WELL! Coming from you, my friend - that's a powerful statement!

      I can tell you this - i had a LOT more fun writing this one than the one on assisted suicide or public execution..

      dunno why..

      lol

      Thanks for dropping in!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Kashmir: You're looking especially scruffy today K - have you been romping in the spring melt again? LOL..

      Always good to see you - wet paws and all!

      Woof!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Victoria: Hello Victoria, so good of you to drop in! DANG?? LOVE IT!

      i love rhyme too - i know, i know - i hide it well..LOL..

      Thanks for the votes, my friend - have a great weekend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Breakfastpop: Ain't that GREAT? lol..

      Come back for more tears - the good- the bad - or the ugly...

      have a great weekend!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Billy: Hello, Billy-bro - always amazing to see you!

      Sigh..it's hard to get words past the well guarded Hubpages 'gates'..ya know?

      i promise i won't mind if you get the urge to share me with your LEGIONS of fans...

      they'll probably just think they're reading a close relative of yours anyway..

      haha

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Kidscraft: Welcome my friend! Excess? OUR society? NO! i cannot believe what you say! haha...

      (sorry...that just gott the sarcasm flowing from the libra..LOL..)

      i am well, thank you so much for asking - i've been almost perfect - SINCE the diagnosis..

      we shall see what the future holds - won't we...

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      In order to survive and make money,

      Oil spills are now nixed by society.

      Citgo, Shell, and Exxon-Mobil

      Have lost their status as mighty.

      Down with the nasty crap

      In the virtual vortex.

      Give me the beautiful buffalo.

      Big Oil, use that brain stem and cortex!

      You can quote me on that, while you keep building those awesome and up kudos.

    • Lisa Luv profile image

      Lisa J Warner 4 years ago from Conneticut, USA

      Made me laugh... but also I was in awe of the style...great job!

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Really, Leslie? In this vast world of ours with over 6 billion people causing all sorts of ruckus, you can't find anything to bitch about?

      Yeah, right. Pull the other one, Darling, it's got bells on it. lol

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Leslie you got voted up, funny and awesome. I love this. I think it's going to be the ghostly tractor of life which will finally fun me down. lol That is why ever day I run to rock and roll just to keep me well balanced. Enjoyed lots. Passing this on and hugs.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Brilliant as always Leslie and have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      Leslie, Leslie, Leslie! What'm'gonna'go'wit'cha? You're so funny but so negative! tsk tsk. I would have to agree, though: - if you're going to go that route, there are plenty more bases to cover! haha. I once wrote a one-liner that just said: "Life! A terminal illness - EPIDEMIC!."

      You never cease to amaze, to tease, to phaze, to please! Big hugs!

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

      Very funny!!! And also true!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Does everybody see why I love this lady? :-)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Cat: Hello, sweet talker!

      My little hub-space brightens when your smiling face arrives!

      Thank you for your support AND your amazing comments!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Fyrfytr: There were SO many basis i didn't 'cover'..lol..ah well - there's always next time, eh?

      i LOVE being a 'benchmark'! (i have to assume they are sexy, sassy little things?...lol)...

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      Who was it that said--if I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself--except you had more fun than that person--by far!!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Junko: Good of you to drop by - and for taking the time to comment!

      The welcome mat is always out!

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE!! what a horribly boring place this would be without you!!!

      just shared this! i admit i suck at that. i hardly even share my own stuff. shame on me. new rule. share one Leslie a day. minimum. i am warning you though, i am a rule breaker :)

      they disabled the ads on my self mutilation hub. they are afraid of anything that isn't vanilla. you keep doing what you do best and don't give them a thought.

      LOVE YOU!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I am still lol.......And if you leave please tell me where you are going...I will be right behind you....Loved it and so very true....

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      MY ADVERTISING HAS BEEN DISABLED ON THIS HUB????

      WHA'???

      THEY ALSO TOOK DOWN MY OBAMA GUN INITIATIVE HUB FOR (are you ready) HATE SPEECH - AND WON"T RESPOND TO MY QUERIES..

      I THINK THEY"RE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING..

      LIKE - LEAVE!

      wow...

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      "Want more - ImKarn is full of it "......That girl , as much as I love her , would kill me kindly with her energy . Oh well I love her anyway !....Wish we were neighbors !

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Leslie.. why didn't you tell me you wrote another hysterical hub.. I LOVE IT... ...girlfriend.. that is life isn't it..? We eat what we arent surprised to eat.. we smoke and drink and we don't know what the inside of the gym looks like..lol...

      And we all pay for it later..

      Love you girlfriend you always speak the truth.

      Debbie

      Sharing

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Dennis: HEY, D! can you tell how happy i am when you visit? (Note ear to ear grin...)..

      We are like two nutbars in a wrapper, eh? I'm all about quality as well and - my doctor just kinda does what i ask her to do..

      it makes her a better doctor - trust me...HAHA...

      HUGS, my friend..

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Vocalcoach: I love BIG adjectives! LOL

      no...seriously - i appreciate your very sweet words AND your sharing!

      did i mention that i LOVE that you LOVED this??

      hahaxx

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Faith: Love when you visit, my friend! Glad you time was well-spent here!

      HUGS

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Dana: WOW - you got here quick! Thanks sweetie! do NOT hang your head in shame - you are amazing! WHY?

      Cause you try to be better - every single day! I ADORE that - i believe that's what life's about!

      learning and coping...you do both better than the average bear!

      Grrrrrrrrrr...

      Now - learn to F***ing hub-share! lol

    • spartucusjones profile image

      CJ Baker 4 years ago from Parts Unknown

      Pure poetic genius! I got a few chuckles from you. It is funny and true. No matter what we do, life will kill you!

    • profile image

      Wrath Warbone 4 years ago

      Gees, best laugh I have had in a year!!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hey, Leslie - this is one of your very best! Trust me. A very funny, versified way to remind us that no one ever promised us a rose garden!

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 4 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi my friend yep the ride of like can either make you or break you, thanks for the awesome fun read !

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Dang, this is so freakin' cool! You have a way with words, girl. I love the rhyme and rhythm--and amazing truth--of this poem. So awesome! Many votes!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      I am laughing and crying at the same time. Up, funny and awesome!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Delivering a message with style, grace and a cutting sense of humor...that's Leslie alright. You are one of a kind, my friend, and a voice that needs to be read by thousands rather than our little group here. Well done, Sis!

      I hope you are well. Sending you a hug and love from Oly.

      bill

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 4 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      You have a gift to write about so many weaknesses in our society with a funny twist! I admire the way you can write things we should be ashamed of with humour! It seems that unfortunately we live in a society of excess.... but it's always better to see the funny side of things; I think we learn better!

      I hope that you are well healthwise..... humour is good for you :-)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Sweethearts2: Well said!

      Thanks for visiting!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Harold: Thank you for that poem, sir! It's a little beyond my...pay grade, ya know, but - i did enjoy it very much..

      LOL..

      I do appreciate your 'indulging' my poor suffering ego though! HAHA...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Martin: LOL!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Brett: Good to see you again Brett - and - sooooo soon too? Don't think i didn't notice - AND appreciate!

      Thank you!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Zulma:: Geez, gf - i hope not! If life has been summed up in THIS poem - what shall i bitch about tomorrow?

      LOL

      Thanks SO much for sharing...we all should!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Vertualit: Hello there! Glad you enjoyed - hoping that means you'll visit again one day soon?

      Excellent! (lol)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Shauna: TOO funny that you mention exactly that! I probably vacillated more than 3 times over injecting 'under-sexed' instead, but - it didn't play into the rest of the so-called poem..

      lol..Thanks for noticing, gf...HAHA

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Carol: Hey, beautiful - Thanks for visiting - and sharing!

      Be good - or - be very VERY BAD!

      lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @Becks: YEEHAW, Girlfriend! I'm with ya all the way!

      CHEERS!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Leslie - SO TRUE! If life doesn't kill ya, nothing will!

      Personally, I wake up every morning completely astounded that I am STILL HERE! Then the viscous cycle begins again - and I am loving every minute of it, holding on for dear life, and yelling "yahoo" while it tries to buck me off the ride!

      Spoken like a true life comrade! Here's to you (glass in hand and clinking).

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      All of this so true..and everyday we hear about something else that is either good or bad for us. Lets just live (within reason) Great hub and loved it all. Voting up and sharing.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      You are so good at this Leslie! Over-sexed? How 'bout lack of??? I guess Life won't kill me after all! :-)

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Sadly true. Very good work, Leslie.

    • vertualit profile image

      Abdus Salam 4 years ago from Bangladesh

      So funny! really interesting and enjoyable. thanks

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Leslie, you are clever beyond words. The entire human condition summed up in a simple and catchy poem. Brilliant. Definitely sharing.

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Caulton 4 years ago from Thailand

      Very clever and nice rhythm. This made me smile at the end of a busy day.

      Sharing, pinning, tweeting and voted ;-)

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      You forgot adventurous wives and friends. They nearly killed me 5 times.

    • moonfroth profile image

      Clark Cook 4 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico)

      So what's the big deal Leslie? You just described a ho-hum normal day in my hedonistic life. You mean, there might actually be CONSEQUENCS for my indulgences? Come, come dear girl--surely you jest!

      (Your Hub strongly reminded me of a Robert Browning poem, "A Toccata of Galuppi's". In the poem--a dramatic monologue--the speaker is listening to a contemporary pianist playing a Toccata composed in and celebrating the sensual excesses of 17th C. Venice. The music itself is the speaker's audience. The speaker is shocked at what he hears in the music about the pleasures of Venice two centuries before. I've sent the poem to you privately, rather than take up too much space here)

    • sweethearts2 profile image

      sweethearts2 4 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Life is a death sentence - sometimes we shorten it.

      Voted up funny and useful.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Leslie,

      Talk about a lift-me-up? :-) You know, considering what we put ourselves, our minds and our bodies through... I guess we do pretty dang good!

      You've got a way with words like no other, let me tell you!

      So up and so funny!

      Cat