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Obama as Othello : A Shakespeare Parody. Act 5 Scene 5 - The Killing of Gadaffi
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Obama as Othello : A Shakespeare Parody.
Act 5 Scene 5 - The Killing of Gadaffi
It is October 2011 and there has been dramatic news from North Africa.
The leader of Libya Colonel Muammar Gadaffi has been captured and killed.
After his convoy was attacked by NATO aircraft he was surrounded by rebel forces.
Richard Iago is conducting an exclusive interview with President Othell'Obama on this issue.
Iago: So! Another Arab dictator takes a fall Mr President. And not a pleasant way to go at that.
Obama : So be it, so be it.
Iago : But why now? Why did NATO decide that Gadaffi had to go after over 40 years in power?
Obama : He had turned real ugly
Iago : Ah yes, he had resorted to violence again.
Obama : No man! I mean he was really ugly. The time was right. He wasn't as good-looking anymore. You see back in the 70's he was a cool cat, a real handsome guy in his uniform. Trained by the British in the 60's to stand up straight and keep a clean shave he cut a fine figure in his uniform. There was no way we could take out a guy like that. Too risky with his-film star looks. It would've been like shooting Omar Sharif. A PR disaster.
Iago : I didn't realise this was official policy.
Obama : Always has been. Why do you think Tricky Dicky with the ski-jump nose never touched him? Couldn't compete for looks. And Carter? Too over-endowed in the dental department.
Iago : What about Gerald Ford?
Obama : Who? Oh him? I forgot all about him. Well he was just a caretaker anyway. It was really Reagan who started to get serious with Libya. Gadaffi hated his guts for that.
Iago : For that and for killing his little 4-year old daughter?
Obama : If she ever existed. Look! Gadaffi did some killing too. He sponsored terrorism. Just ask the Brits cos he was selling guns to the IRA back then in the 80's. He was financing terrorists.
Iago : So were NORAID to the tune of millions.
Obama : What do you mean? The US Air Force were funding terrorists? Are you crazy?
Iago . No, Mr President. Not NORAD, NORAID, the Irish Northern Aid Committee
Obama : Oh well, you be better asking the Republicans about that. They were in power. I was just getting stoned and hanging out with the girls at college. Anyway, we're going off-topic here. As I said Gadaffi had turned into a Halloween pumpkin with a magic-marker beard and it was easier to knock him off. That's the way Richard, that's the way it goes. Milosevic was a fat, beady-eyed Serb and Noriega had a face like a welders bench. He broke the world record for imploded facial zits. The ugly guys are easy to target.
Iago: Your namesake wasn't too bad looking.
Obama : I guess so but Saddam was just a real bad-ass. It was a gamble but it paid off and he's history.
Iago : You say that the reason for attacking Libya was the fact that Gadaffi had started killing his own people.
Obama : Yeah! That's just unacceptable to us. We cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour from any kind of regime. Turning the guns on their own people.
Iago : So what would you say about Kent State and Waco for example
Obama : I would say that our heavily-armed troops felt under threat and acted with admirable self-restraint. The FBI using a flame-thrower at Waco was a little ill-advised but who would have thought the whole place would burn down.
Iago : Indeed. Completely unforeseen. But come on Mr President, you don't expect us to believe that was the real reason for the attack on Libya.
Obama : I do expect you to believe that.
Iago : Well that doesn't wash with me sir. Isn't it a fact that the Europeans were panicking about the proposed communications satellite programme for Africa. Largely funded by Gadaffi to build an independent TV network for the continent.
Obama : How would that cause a problem? What would anyone have to worry about TV coming from there except for 'Tripoli's Got Talent' or something like that?
Iago : It would cause a problem because Europe currently makes around $400 million dollars a year from TV satellite rights in Africa.
Obama : Is that all? In the name of Al Jazeera!!! Hell man! Over here NBC spent more than that on 'The West Wing'. Good show that. Nothing like real life of course, too much integrity.
Iago : It would explain why the British and the French went into Libya.
Obama : I dunno! Maybe Sarkozy needs more money to keep Carla Bruni in diamonds.
Iago : What about the dinar?
Obama : It was very nice thanks. Grilled salmon with asparagus.
Iago : Come now Mr President. Don't go all 'George W' on me tonight. I mean the dinar, the planned African currency that Gadaffi was heavily involved in. Backed by tons of gold no less and with an African Central Bank to free the continent from the stranglehold of the IMF and the World Bank. There was even eventual plans that it should replace the petrodollar as the oil currency over there.
Obama : I know the 'O' word would come up sooner rather than later. Look! This military action was nothing to do with oil. OK? It had everything to do with protecting civilians and ending this oppressive regime. It was a humanitarian action. That's why we supported the freedom-loving rebel forces.
Iago : Many of whom were Al Qaeda.
Obama : That's nonsense.
Iago : Not according to the NATO commander it isn't. Admiral Stavridis said it himself
Obama : Well! You know my record with the top brass. I don't piss around.
Iago: Especially when they're telling the truth.
Obama : The truth is that these were good Al Qaeda, on our side you know. They weren't running around planting bombs an' all. They were out in the field fighting this madman Gadaffi.
Iago : And they sure got him. A regular lynch mob, baying for blood and screaming 'Alluha Akhbar!'.
Obama : Of course we would have preferred that he was taken alive like Sadaam Hussein and given a fair trial.
Iago : But he didn't exactly have a dignified death either.
Obama : A hanging on prime-time is a better way to check out I reckon. He liked the limelight and it's how he would have wanted to go.
Iago : And, unfortunately, we have to go. So one last question Mr President.
Obama : Fire away.
Iago: How apt. What about Ahmadinejad? He's not a bad looking guy. So is he safe for now.
Obama : We have absolutely no plans to intervene in Iran.
Iago : Even if they do carry out their threat to abandon the petrodollar? Sorry about the 'O' word again
Obama : Yeah? Well how about the 'A' word ma man. We don't want them getting the bomb now do we?
Iago : No! i guess not. No weapons of mass destruction in the hands of the mad Ayatollahs.
Obama : Now there's a really ugly bunch!
- Obama as Othello : A Shakespeare Parody. Act 6 Scene 1. The 2012 Nuclear Security Summit
It is now March of 2012 and we are in Seoul, the capital city of South Korea. US President Othell'Obama is in attendance at the Nuclear Security Summit at the COEX Convention and Exhibition Center.