Osama Bin Burrito, Rice, Hot Tea
Dateline: New York 09:27 EST May 2, 2011 — The news yesterday that a special operation by the United States military had resulted in the death of al-Qaeda leader and revolutionary icon Osama Bin Laden in the small garrison town of Abbottabad, Pakistan was quickly followed this morning by the reported discovery at a midtown street taco stand of the terrorist’s visage on a burrito.
Among the bustling end-of-rush-hour Manhattanites, no fewer than 7 people gathered in awe and amazement to reflect on the toasty likeness and remark upon its verisimilitude. (Several of those in the smallish crowd even made statements of a declamatory, pejorative or obscene nature not meeting the threshold of this reporter’s standards of editorial decency.)
Seen here as it was initially accompanied by rice and hot tea, the haggard likeness of one of the world’s most hunted and haunted figures wraps the flaky brown goodness of stand operator Miguel DeSanto’s specialty fish burrito — comprised of tilapia, shredded lettuce, Monterey Jack, black beans, black olive, and lime (a well as a few select and secret ingredients the itinerant taco stand operator would prefer to keep to himself).
When asked about the possible significance of the appearance of this ‘Osama Bin Burrito’ and its highly coincidental timing, Senor DeSanto could only speculate. “Maybe this means he’s done, you know. He’s finished . . . .cooked . . . he’s toast. They’ve made a meal of him! No more Osama!”
This reporter also sees something of cosmic closure in this bizarre occurrence. The DeSanto taco stand at which Osama Bin Burrito appeared this morning sat mere blocks from the former site of The World Trade Center towers!
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