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Obama as Othello: A Shakespeare Parody. Act 4 Scenes 3 & 4: General McChrystal in Rolling Stone Magazine.
Our merry old tale is now into mid-2010 but here's the link to take you back to those heady days of 2007. The start of our story begins just when the Presidential race was hotting up.
Obama as Othello: A Shakespeare Parody. Act 4 Scenes 3 & 4:
General McChrystal in Rolling Stone Magazine.
President Othell' Obama is in the Oval Room. He is signing documents and attending to other routine administrative and procedural duties.
Enter the Vice-President Joe Biden with news to disrupt the relative quiet of the day.
Obama: He said what?
Biden: Well! He didn't exactly say it himself,
Obama: Who did then?
Biden: One of his top aides apparently. Name not supplied,
Obama: But they reckon that Jim Jones is a 'clown',
Biden: That's what it says in Rolling Stone,
Obama: Why the hell is a 4-star general doing an interview with them? They discussing a new Springsteen tour or something? Goddam! I sure pick 'em. What else is in there? Did he say that Madonna's got saggy tits as well? What about Hillary?
Biden: She's holding up well for her age,
Obama: I meant did he slag off Hillary too!
Biden: Not at all Othello. In fact she comes out quite favourably. He likes her,
Obama: I might have known she'd come up smelling of roses. She'll love this. Hell hath no fury sure enough. She's never lost that green-eyed monster when she's looking at me. So! Did he say anything about yours truly?
Biden: Not directly no,
Obama: What do you mean 'not directly'?,
Biden: I mean the article has been sounding off at Karl Eikenberry, Richard Holbrooke as well as Jim Jones. Karzai takes a beating too. They're saying he ain't credible,
Obama: That's no world exclusive but what about the other two?
Biden: With Karl the problem seems to be that McChrystal used to be his subordinate. So it kinda rankles with Karl. According to the article anyway,
Obama: Karl has seemed kinda off lately now you mention it,
Biden: He's probably more pissed about getting stuck with the job of Ambassador to Afghanistan,
Obama: It's an important job,
Biden: Of course. But so are 'Secretary for Renewable Energy', 'Commissioner for Polar Ice-Caps' and 'Director of Drug Control Policy'. The Kabul number ain't the most prestigious gig in town.
Obama: Never mind! A job's a job these days. What about Holbrooke then? What they saying about him?
Biden: Hmmm! Let's put it like this. According to Rolling Stone McChrystal got an e-mail from Richard on his Blackberry.
Biden: He said "I don't even want to open it". Then after reading it he stuffed it back in his pocket in annoyance,
Obama: Not the worst I've ever heard,
Biden: Yeah but then one of his aides allegedly said "Make sure you don't get any of that on your leg,"
Obama: And Cassio McChrystal allowed this into print?
Biden: Full clearance.
Obama: Jeez! Unbelievable! As if I don't have enough on my plate with this oil spill,
Biden: As men in rage strike those that wish them best,
Obama: But you're sure that there's no criticism of me, myself and I,
Biden: No! The holy trinity never got touched although It was mentioned that you felt intimidated at your first meeting with the generals in the Briefing Room,
Obama: Nothing about stuff running down my leg I hope?
Biden: Of course not Othello but the problem isn't that he didn't sound off at you. Not in print anyway,
Biden: No! The problem is he has undermined you by turning the guns on your staff. And those are the staff that you hand-picked for the job,
Obama: Including you Joe ma man!
Biden: True, he did call my Afghanistan strategy 'shortsighted' that's for sure,
Obama: 'Chaos-istan' is the word that springs to mind if I remember,
Biden: Where's that?
Act 4 Scene 4
Several days later the President is again in the Oval Room of the White House. General Cassio McChrystal has been duly summoned to appear before him.
Obama: Close the door General McChrystal
McChrystal: OK boss!
Obama: Mister President to you,
McChrystal: Uh! I guess so,
Obama: Take a seat General, it's time for your half-term report. How's the bleeding ulcer doing?
McChrystal: Who me? I don't follow you Mr President,
Obama: You know? That bleeding ulcer called Chaosistan. Just how is Team America doing over there?
McChrystal: Well to be honest, not as good as we had hoped. But we still think we'll be successful,
Obama: You'll be the first since Genghis Khan then,
McChrystal: He was lucky. No hearts and minds bullshit from liberals back home,
Obama: Maybe I could record an historical first as well Cassio,
McChrystal: How's that?
Obama: The first President to sack not one but two generals in wartime. Even that hard-nosed son-of-a-bitch Harry Truman didn't manage that and he dropped a couple of A-bombs before breakfast,
McChrystal: It's a difficult situation over there,
Obama: Sure! And it don't help having a bunch of clowns over here running the show I guess?
McChrystal: That was taken out of context. Typical that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains. Rolling Stone did the dirty on me,
Obama: Nevertheless Cassio you may think you're fireproof and you've certainly avoided some major flak so far. Camp Nama, the Tillman cover-up and that fiasco at Marja were all on your watch and yet you come out without so much as a scratch. But you're mixing it up with the main man here dude, El Presidente! Now tell me why I shouldn't fire your sorry ass?
McChrystal: I voted for you!
Obama: So you did, so you did. Elected Commander-in-Chief, baby, Commander-in-Chief. Those words make any sense to you Cassio? Like I'm the Chief and I'm in command kinda thing?
McChrystal: You gotta really understand Mr President, it's crazy over there. You can't trust any of them. They're all plotting against each other, it's all treachery, betrayal, backstabbing for sheer greed and a lust for power. It's like gang warfare
Obama: Sounds a lot like Washington,
McChrystal: And their President is a screwball,
Obama: What the goddam hell is that supposed to mean? You buttin into my analogy there buddy?
McChrystal: No! No! I'm just saying that Karzai is a real liability
Obama: Good word that 'liability', I like that. Did you happen to bump into General Petraeus outside?
McChrystal: Erm! Yes I did sir,
Obama: So! Anything you wanna say?
McChrystal: All things considered, I guess I feel that I should maybe resign my post,
Obama: Good call soldier, nevermore be officer of mine. Means I won't have to change my speech. Now! Enjoy your retirement Cassio. The great contention of the sea and skies parted our fellowship but over the last nine years, with America fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, you have earned a reputation as one of our nation’s finest soldiers. That reputation is founded upon extraordinary dedication, deep intelligence, and love of country.
McChrystal: Thank you sir
Obama: Don't thank me, I'm just practising my spiel for the cameras. Now! Send in the new guy will ya!
Act 4 : Scene 5.
- Obama as Othello: A Shakespeare Parody. Act 4 Scene 5 - Ted Nugent on Saturday Night Live
The scene is the studios of NBC Television at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. Tonight the legendary comedy show Saturday Night Live is about to transmit. The show is jointly hosted by special guest presenters Richard Iago and mad rocker Ted Nugent.