Poetry -In Memory Of Thanksgiving Past

Holding On For Dear Life

The last day of my first marriage was Thanksgiving 1989. I was Twenty-Nine Years Old with four children ages ten to twelve years old. Our survival was mostly depended on the income provided by my husband and I would have never dreamed that this was the first day of many of years, raising my children alone. He stayed in the picture; however, it is never the same responsibility, as the parent left in the home.

That Thanksgiving started out like any other Thanksgiving in the past. C and our twin boys that were twelve went to the Annual Weaver and Hartford Basketball Game. I was at home preparing Thanksgiving dinner with the girls, in preparation of them coming back after the game. Time passed and I heard the twins come in the door, they yelled to me in the kitchen, “Mom, dad said, he will be back soon”. I thought this was strange; however, I still had pies to bake and a Turkey to prepare. The twins came home at about 2:00pm, it was now 4:00pm and no dad. Thinking he would come home shortly, I set the dinner table with the Turkey and all of the fixings, and the five of us set at the table waiting for him to arrive. A half an hour after staring at his empty chair, the children looked at me like I was crazy. They said nothing, I said nothing, we just set there looking and staring at each other frozen in time. I was paralyzed and wouldn't allow anyone to eat, I told them “We are waiting for you dad;”You can have a snack from the fridge, but, we are waiting for your dad to come home”. The boys had tickets to a wrestling match at the Civic Center, and had to leave with just a snack no dinner. Finally, around 7:00pm, I told the girls to sit down and there I was carving turkey with tears falling down my face, crying all over the turkey, mash potatoes, green beans, and potato salad. Later that night around 12:00pm he returned home for the last time and I went mad, hitting, screaming and throwing whatever I could get in my hands, and then the love of my life, the man I would have taken a bullet for, was gone. His mistress had won, he had chosen sides and I finally gave up on keeping our love alive. I was left and angry woman, bitter and mad at God and the world. Later, I found myself again and I am blessed, healthy and whole, a strong woman of faith. That will never again, let go of God’s hand during a storm. Because, C left me, not God, he has never left me alone.

(C was used for identity protection)

Daphne Marie McDonald

What does a writer do when they need to release the pain? They write; and that is what I did to explain the pain I went through on a Holiday that stands for everything Family. Below are poems birthed out of that pain.

Poems In Memory Of Thanksgiving Past

The Reality Of the End

Delayed Dreams

I am becoming an expert

At giving up on dreams

Every since you went away.

Now dreams are replaceable

Interchangeable and flexible

No longer do I feel safe

Grounded or rooted

No longer do I believe

That dreams come true

Pieces of Me

She gave her love pieces of herself

She gave her Faith

She gave her Hope

She gave her Heart

She gave her Mind

She gave her Body

And her Soul

She gave her love pieces of herself

Till she was no longer WHOLE

Coming Full Circle

There is no evidence of

What I am about to reveal

Not that I need any

I wrote the best of me

When I fell in love with you and we were one

For I found joy in everything

That life had to offer.

There is no evidence of

What I am about to reveal

Not that I need any

I am writing the best of me

Now

That we are no longer one

And

I find pain in everything

That life has to offer!

Two of a kind?

We were oil and water

Even though it hurts me

I am glad he found the

Strength to let me go

We were like day and night

Wasting each other’s time

With false hopes and promises

We were like fire and water

If he had left it up to me

I would have never found

The strength to let him go

We were like winter and summer

Where ever he is I hope he is

Contented and his spirit is at peace!