The Reason - A Poem

My love was true
& worth the war that I must face
When he was here
All of the world's stains were erased

I had all the good & none of the bad
Until the day his soul was called away in the night
& an empty vessel lay by my my side
& my heart was ripped out at the first morning light

I wonder why God bothered making me strong
Why bother making me unafraid to face a fight
Just to let me lay here not knowing something was wrong
Even if I couldn't save him I'ld hold him, guide him, say goodbye & its alright

But those were gifts that were not granted to me
& I don't understand what the reason would be

I would have loved to walk with him
Up the stairs & to the gate
Then let him know that I'd come back down
Where I can raise a child and wait

I would have let him know that we'ld live life
Just like we planned
Loving, growing, smiling, laughing, &
Seeing all the sights at hand

Instead I'm rendered useless
Under the venomous sting of grief
Too sad to sleep, too weak to eat
& learning nothing except to weep

These are the gifts that were granted to me
& I don't understand what the reason would be.