Why Does He Play Away?

acaetnna,

You are very talented. The heart felt words move my soul. I wish these tragic events never happen. I feel for those and the sorrow of these events.

The right man will come along that won't cheat. We have been married 50 years I have never cheated and I'm sure my husband has not cheated. I can't say that for sure because we really don't know what is in someone else's mind but women usually know. I have known women who cheat and men who cheat and they are not happy people.

Loved your poem and voted up.

Many women are often too emotional and eager for true love that they give their whole hearts too soon. When a heartbreaker owns your heart, he can break it whenever and however he chooses.

Society needs to get back to sensible stages of a relationship. It used to be . . .

1. Boy and girl meet.

2. For a time they talk and get to know each other. (If one loses interest and moves on, don’t have a cow. He/she does not belong to you! If you did not give each other what you should have kept, you won’t feel cheated.)

3. They decide to date, not enslave.

4. They later decide to date each other, excluding others. If one of you decides that the other is not “the one,” suck it up and move on. This happens and it is normal.

5. They are sure of their love and entertain thoughts of marriage.

6. He proposes and presents an engagement ring.

7. Marriage and a gift of consummation (sex) follow. Of course, this is outdated and stupid and too much like right. Waiting for marriage to have sex will end illegitimacy and cut down drastically on sex diseases and low self-esteem. Waiting for marriage will give children a better chance of having a father and mother in the same home.

And between #1 and #7, please leave something for the marriage! A husband and wife need something that is special and has not been given to another. It used to be virginity, but most fellows never mastered it, and most women have forgotten it. Waiting for marriage would solve too many problems, "unfortunately."

There are too many cobras out there for men to exercise such risky behavior: AIDS, herpes, genital warts, sterility, even death. The grim reaper lurks around every corner following the creeper, but he is not afraid. That surely defies understanding! What is there about slithering that makes it worth dying for?

There is a lot of creeping, and to be truthful, most men have always crept. More creeping is going on because more people are forgetting the meaning of "morality," "faithfulness," "self-respect," and "decency." We live in a time that does not have time for shame. Anything goes, and "Everyone is doing it."

Last, creeping women do not make it easy for weak men. They are just as responsible because men cannot creep without a female co-creeper, unless they are treading strange waters.

What a beautiful and well-written poem! Thanks for sharing.

This is sad but beautifully written. It seems like all the celebs are cheating these days and getting divorced. Great work acaetnna. Hit many buttons and voted up.

This is a great hub! I think there is so much cheating between men and women because people are self-centered and they 1. want to indulge themselves and 2. they don't really put their partner's need ahead of their own. Very thought provoking!

My brother and all his friends say that guys cheat because they have different needs and one woman can't satisfy them all.

Men stray away, but finally they always come back home.

Acaetnna, I just loved your poem. This is so beautiful.

So much love inside. So much desire. I have found a love that lives for all time, inside of myself. It doesn't just leave it grows. Beautiful as your smile, blessings,

Johnny Love

:(

I have no comment to this or refuse to because I will just spill all my emotions and pain relating to this.

But YOU madam, You are a fine writer and you keep those hubs coming because I absolutely love everything I have read by you.

Beautiful.

when i asked my grandmother what it takes to stay married till death do part she told me very quickly . It takes a lot of hard work. Old school monogamy seems to be a thing of the past. I have a few theory's as to why and ideas on how to avoid infidelity. but don't think this is the proper venue to address such a candid subject .

Again you have got me thinking this morning . Great hub.

Ray

Acaetnna, this poem struck a chord in my heart. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. You seem like such a loving and caring person. As for me, I sat here and cried while reading this. I have been cheated on in every relationship I have ever had. And it hurts as much today as when those times happened, from the first relationship to this last one. I do pray that the man in your life now will learn from the mistake he made and sees what a wonderful person he stands to lose if it should happen again. I just wish they wouldn't think of us as blind or stupid when they do these things. Anyway, thank you again for sharing and I will think you of often in my prayers that what you have lasts a lifetime. Take care.

I love to revisit your beautiful work and always take the time to vote it up each time. Your amazing and were so blessed to have you here! :) Much Love, Katie

A truly marvelous poem on this subject. So well done!

You are such an artist. Thank you for your talent and for sharing it. Rated a big up!

Another great write acaetnna! We need a love that will last for all time. God bless!

For every man who cheats, there's a woman with whom to cheat. It's not one sided at all. Ask the man whose wife has betrayed him.

Cheating is immaturity. Only immature people think the grass is greener.

Great Hub and fine poetry.

I love the fact that your poetry is filled with life lessons and you are so talented in formulating these lessons into rhyme. Well done. Great topic.

I came back to read a wonderful poem.Maybe searching for his thoughts and feelings as a writer would.Not understanding the consequences and pain that he could cause.Maybe if he wrote about it. He would of made different decisions and actions that would of resulted in more positive results.

Back to read vote up and all thats good again, why does he play away and why does he cheat is a great topic many are confused about. This conversation is helpful and inspiring. Love and Peace :)

I fail to understand why partners cheat. Well you know what they say if a husband can cheat on his wife he can undoubtedly cheat on his mistress! You always write with such emotion acaetnna.Another great poem from you.

Yes, we'll hope for the best. I'd love to read more poetry from you.

I can't imagine any one cheating on you. You are totally amazing to have forgiven him. I hope you have a lifetime of happiness together from now on.

A great poem and one of lifes BIG questions indeed. Hummmm love is no doubt better for having forgiveness and understanding. Peace and Love :)

A beautiful poem, heartfelt and real...

When dealing with infidelity, I would suggest counseling for you both as a couple, to work through what happened, why it happened, and working on healing the terrible hurt and mistrust that this can do to a relationship....

whatever you decide, I wish you both well :)

Votng yor wonderful poem up

There will always be cheaters and liars in this world. But the sincere ones are there, waiting. Good luck to all seeking this sincerity and hopefully we'll reach there. Great hub here.

Stupidity, that's why! Guess I didn't have to tell you that. We could look for, and possibly find, deeper motives and mechanisms - none more appealing than mere opportunism. Yet, given the high stakes, the search for answers ultimately leads back to the beginning of this post...

another great works. I danced again :D

I really enjoy your words and ideas.

Great poem, really enjoyed it :)

Acaetnna you are such a fine writer - and if I may say so - I knew you would be! Oops! Hope that doesn't sound too sort of, 'I told you so' - not meant like that at all.

Your other two poems are also so, so sensitively written and so full of heart and emotion that they are very compelling to read - I can't believe that you have not been writing like this before - you should have. Well, I think so.

Your choice and insertion of pictures is cool too - you clearly have skills I don't have - my pictures tend to look as though they've been taken by my mother! Sorry Mum but you never could take a photograph!.

As for your subject Acaetnna - well, what can I say - I'm a man and I have done what you have complained of so I guess I'm right out of order with everyone who may ever read this. I'm not concerned about that though, curiously enough.

In my case I certainly felt that I had acted without courage and without honour and it was those two issues which badly affected me along with, of course, the fact that I had hurt so badly a person whom I loved and still love actually.

I appreciate that I am clearly going to be regarded as a man without much compassion when I say this but I don't believe that love EVER dies; it remains, as I once wrote in one of my poems. It can never disappear - it is always there for the past is with us now and always. People just change that's all and love changes.

I bet this man still loves you - yet in a different way and it may really be the fact that his changes to his love for you now mean that it no longer matches your own in all the ways you so much still desire.

I wonder why he remains sort of 'in' your life if he is 'playing away' - it may be that he cannot bear hurting you with a final parting or that he is simply on a 'silly' physical experience or that he still feels, in some perhaps strange way, responsible for you and your welfare.

Whatever it may be - and please, please Acaetnna, forgive me if I am talking way, way beyond my brief here (which I suspect I am actually) - but maybe confronting him with his behaviour and asking him what he truly wants so that BOTH of you can move on into happier, more fulfilling lives, would be a good start to a new beginning, whichever way it moves.

I don't know about 'soul-mates' or 'twin-flames' or anything much like that - I know that love is immortal though, just as all that is best in us as individuals is immortal and it may just be that the love you have had and perhaps still have for each other will continue way, way beyond the tiny confines of our lives here in this world and expand and flourish in other, more wonderful existences where mind and heart blend truly in never-ending love; as it always should be Acaetnna.

Our challenge I know lies in reconciling what we do each moment in THIS world, with what our hearts and desires so desperately wish to choose for us in our futures and beyond. That's how I feel Acaetnna but having now admitted to the world that I am the kind of man you have written about, then maybe my opinions - about anything to do with love - should be dismissed and forgotten.

Perhaps men like me have forfeited the right to have an opinion on such things - that our dishonour has stained forever who we are and may ever be. However the world may feel about that Acaetnna, in my case I know that I have a true sense of love all-encompassing and deep, within my heart and my failures and and weaknesses as 'a man' have never diminished my knowledge nor my desire for 'true' and lasting love. I simply changed that's all and my dishonour lies in breaking a vow but not in ever deliberately choosing to hurt someone so infinitely special.

They say, 'what goes around, comes around' and I know, of course, that such an experience as you have had Acaetnna, lies around my future corners too but I know also that all the people I have truly loved, for however long I loved them and in whatsoever way I expressed that genuine love, will always, always remain within my heart - and that one day - some way - that love will be renewed, though in a grander, far more wonderful dimension.

A great writer once wrote in a novel about an older English woman loving a younger Indian gentleman in the continent of India way back when social attitudes despised and refused such love that, in another time and place, their love would be returned and re-ignited as all love should. It was just that right then, "the hills whispered, 'not here' and the sky sighed, 'not now.'"

I don't know anything Acaetnna at all really about such things but perhaps you should talk with this man and state what it may be that you desire and allow him to tell you what he too might truly desire. After all, it does sound as though you BOTH know what has happened and is happening.

A wonderful poem you have written here Acaetnna - and you can tell just how truly wonderful it is for you have stimulated my response to a series of questions which have been haunting me for a long time. Thank you for your very marvellous lines Acaetnna. Your poetry does more than merely place words upon a page.

Take a lesson from this wise older man, like the Epigramman said men like to cheat I guess they think they can get away with it and everything will always be cool.

Here is my advice if your going to stay in love, ensure that man is also your best friend. Best friends don't cheat they love and support their partner.

You are young and many a beau you will have, try to stay away from those dudes who are immature and don't know their heart. Cheaters may think they can do it and continue to do it and get away with breaking hearts, but in the end they lose the race.

So beware of cheaters, you are a very pretty lady in this avatar and you need to find a GOOD loyal man. And you will over time. Many heart aches ahead of you first unfortunately, unless you can find that dream lover who will call you his and only his and treat you like a real lady, not someone they can use and abuse by cheating on you. Good luck my new hubber friend.

I think some people don't know what they want.When someone so special and rare like you who gives everything they have to make something work.They can't see it or understand it.Maybe they are just players and will never be satisfied no matter what you do.I found the only truth is that you know you tried and he wasn't for you.You have to realize this is a blessing in disguise.What happened if you found this out 3 children and 8 years later.I think we want to believe people are like us.Thats why we fall in love the first place.Someone who complements who we are.They like the same things.They want to share our interests and our thoughts in life.It takes time to know someone and in time you may find out the things that brought you together and made you love each other.Was only skin deep.Not for you but for them.Lesson learned.But you can still walk away with learning so much and loving the things that you do.Now you can move on from that point and grow.Become the person you want to be.Learning more about yourself than before.Spend the time listing the things you want in life and the things you need in life.You might be surprised at how big the list grows.But when your done you will marvel at who you are and keep striving for that.Don't let anyone interfere with your true passions.I loved your hub and I will look forward to reading many more.I think the bad guys who like to do this give good guys a bad rap.Have another wonderful day and keep building until you have a lifetime of love.

...actually Tiger Woods isn't sorry he did it - he's sorry he got caught - yes they caught the tiger by the tail - lol lol - or should I say they caught the tiger going after tail - lol lol - I would imagine that women cheat too on their boyfriends and husbands - but there is one thing I would never do and that is cheat on your hubs - you have two so far - and you have knocked both right out of the park - and I am your quality control expert - just please please give us some more!

I sent you a fan mail, but made a mistake and sent an empty one. Sorry for that. Just wanted to say I am a fan now and happy to follow you as a great Hubber. Take care.