ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Woman Showing Her Age (?)

Updated on February 5, 2012
Woman Showing Her Age (?)
Woman Showing Her Age (?) | Source

Yes, indeed. I hate to be the style and fashion arbiter to point it out, but this lass is clearly signaling that her tastes (and thus her youth) trend back a considerable distance through what we euphemistically call the sands of time.

Oh where oh where upon her tricked-out personage shall we start?

I say, let us begin with the innocent-seeming dusky pink tattoo of a single rose upon her left shoulder. While that delicate flower may seem like a very up-to-the-minute fashion accent — akin to those sported by virtually every GenXer barmaid you are likely to encounter in a month of Manhattan pub crawls — our model in fact obtained that mark in the late 1920s, at a wharf-side San Franciscan tattoo parlor frequented by seafaring roustabouts and their stowaway Polynesian concubines, while just an ingénue.

And, how about that massive coiled cinnamon-roll-thingy of auburn hair planked against her cranium above her ear? No, despite your first guess, that is not derivative of the coif of Princess Leia Organa of Star wars fame, circa 1977. [Editor’s aside: Man, how suggestive was that romantic interest’s name? Leia Organa? George Lucas lust much?!] Our gal’s hairstyle is actually a virtual hair-for-hair replica of a do first presented to a breathless public by France’s Madame Vionnet in 1937.

Moving on! . . . to that peculiar bird perch affair atop her head and hairdo. That bonnet, consisting of three concentric planar tiers of fused and upright genuine mint chocolate discs of varying sizes, anchored by a sprightly posterior sprig of splayed mistletoe, and crowned by a young scaup’s nest, complete and entire, with greenery, egg and mama, also bears a tatted lace forehead veil of exquisite Swiss workmanship. It is not, unfortunately, an original, but merely a very faithful 1948 reproduction of an 1890s prototype fashioned in Vienna by Baron Anton of Vahrenviehl.

The woman’s snubbed — and practically nonexistent — nose is, of course, the sort of cosmetic surgical custom popularized in the mid-1940s by the Romanian Court of that nation’s last King, Michael (third cousin of Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain). So, too, were the ‘bee-stung’ lips, strategically placed aubergine mole, and the very heavily shadow-lidded eyes rimmed in kohl.

Meanwhile, her quite sizable single earring of hammered pewter with tinted blown-glass accents was created in autumn of 1956 by the master craftsman at the famed Murano Glass facility in Venice. For her appearance on the dais of the Kennedy inauguration, she purchased the thin choke-collar disk of lacquered onyx with pendant blue miniature pearls at the Fabergé showroom in Monaco.

Lastly, her daring off-the-shoulder dress of ruched and slashed magenta voile is a creation of none other than her childhood friend Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel — better known to the rest of the world as simply “Coco”.

It is indeed fortunate for our model that her rigorous and abiding attention to fashion, cosmetics, creams, spas, exercise, nips, tucks and the rejuvenating ministrations of successively younger boy-toys has kept her looking far younger than her 117 years!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      Rick Zimmerman 

      6 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      I know what you mean, poetvix. Madonna strikes me as just any other 50-something (albeit a fairly talented and calculating one) scrambling to stay relevant in media fashioned by and for a bunch of 10-to-22-year-olds. There IS such a thing as growing older gracefully.

    • poetvix profile image


      6 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      While I know it's not her, I couldn't help but thinking of Madonna after seeing a glimpse of her last night at the half time show while the old man was watching the game. Those outfits? What was she thinking? This was too funny. I need to go read up on what is passe now :(.

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      Rick Zimmerman 

      6 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Hey, — Certainly not you! You're the bom! (he-he) Glad to have you watching. [btw, you might enjoy 'How to Talk to Women and Live to Tell']

    • profile image 

      6 years ago

      I know exactly to whom you are speaking. hee hee hee


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)