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You Suck Big Time!

Updated on August 6, 2012

If you are coming here and feel like Kristen Stewart, then you really suck big time! How in the world did she fall for that 42 years director, Rupert Sanders? Is this a hidden trend from FaceBook? Tell us Robert Pattinson, maybe you didn't keep up with her "grocery shopping." Probably Kristen was tired of that pale face with a girlish lipstick, huh?

If you come here looking for some evidence that was confiscated by the FBI and New Jersey Police Department, then you really suck big time! This resident from New Brunswick NJ "saw something, and he said something." And he inadvertently uncovered a secret spying operation that the New York Police Department was running outside its jurisdiction. WTF! (What The Fruit cake!) Our NYC Police asked the FBI to return the "department's materials..!" They suck big time! No comments from our CIA fellows, or the secret service!


Justin Bieber..

If you panicked and cannot trust your girlfriend anymore, get ahead of the game. For instance, do not go to the extremes like calling 911 and getting nervous about what to say. “Um, I have like, five cars following me,” maybe it was Selena Gomez tipping him off just to boost his ego. Justin already said he wanted to stay young.You know what...? a woman can take so much and if you don't pay attention, they deep inside... huh? they will come out with the words: You really suck!


London Olympics

The British Olympic sponsors welcomed the soccer team from North Korea for a match against Colombia (100% pure). Unfortunately the Organizers made an “honest mistake” of displaying the South Korean flag alongside photos of North Korean women players. And this happens months before both nations were on the brink of nuclear retaliation. North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, was tod busy getting married..! Why do they feel like is a long time loving?

The 'insult' led to the North Korean women soccer team refusing to take the pitch on Wednesday July 25, for just over an hour and overshadowed the first day of Olympic sportsmanship. Now wonder the soccer team from North Korea kept saying : "You people suck!"

Insurance, license and registration please..!
Insurance, license and registration please..! | Source

Our Own Case...

We got pulled over by a cop near Springfield New Jersey, and got a ticket for speeding. The thing is, this State trooper pulled over 'too close' behind our rear bumper with the sticker, "life sucks!". Yep! You might guess it : when we wanted to leave the crime scene (his quota), we "unintentionally" changed gears from "P" to "R" instead of the logical "D" as in drive... next thing we see through our rear view mirror is a cop getting the hit of his life in slow motion... He composed himself and came out from his car, and didn't want to say, "You suck!!!" He just went for the expletive "four letter word." He was kind enough to tell me, "You better leave, otherwise I would give you a ticket for "deliberate" attempted murder. Yeah, our bad! "You suck!! Joseph"


How about you?

You fell down the steps (on your back) and looked both ways embarrassed? Yeah! Thank God nobody saw you...but we did.!! We cannot go to Bill and Monica Lewinski's story, moderators would be knocking our door, with that famous line, "Your hub has been unpublished... Lord."

Shiloh on Vevo


Submit a Comment

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi Crazy Novelist, was fun to write this hub indeed. Seems that you enjoyed this cop story as well. Thanks for the input my friend!

  • CrazedNovelist profile image

    A.E. Williams 

    6 years ago from Hampton, GA

    Lol, this is pretty funny... Good work, Joseph.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi there Lesley, yeah! was an expensive bad move. Still, I can still laugh seeing that cop's face and his horrifying experience. You have a wonderful weekend my friend!.

  • Movie Master profile image

    Movie Master 

    6 years ago from United Kingdom

    Hi lord, wow that was an expensive speeding fine - $225!! backing into the cop......made a great story!

    Thanks for the laugh and a big vote up from me, best wishes Lesley

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Thanks for your fun comment Christy. Didn't forget you... just busy during our day time. You always leave fun comments, we owe you one!

  • ChristyWrites profile image

    Christy Birmingham 

    6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

    Awesome (and hence my 'awesome' vote for the hub)! I had to read this one after the title caught my eye... very creative. I can't believe that the Olympics screwed up the flags, what an insult.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi KJ Force,

    Yeah, Springfield NJ Cop! Thanks for comenting and leaving us with a smile. Life really sucks sometimes, tell me about it!

  • kj force profile image


    6 years ago from Florida

    lord de cross....well written hub..Springfield, New Jersey cop ? you are your hub did not suck..and how do Olympic Sponsors make a mistake of displaying the wrong flag ? guess it's true..." Life sucks then you die"...hehehe..just a thought....

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Morning, Go for the Juggler; I would hate to see you laughing in front of Johnny Goodman, yeah it was funny and every now and then I dosify the intensity of that moment, just to get myself through rough days. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Tammy! You are a bad girl! How could you laugh of my own despair on a highway? Well, everytime I picture that Cop's face I laugh at myself. Thank God I didn't have the urge to use the bathroom, you know what I mean..! Happy to see you smile dear friend!

    @AlwaysExploring, Hi Rubi,

    Well... It was that it was! The incident happened in less than a second. I guess this cop knows how it feels to be backed up by Mad Max! I could've gotten arrested, but put my "shrek pussycat face," and he was about to call for back up. But he let me go... "go now, before I change my mind.." LOL!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Thanks Amy Beckerer, you have said it better than us. It was an error from my side, being already nervous at the criem scene. I'm sure he corrected the distance afterwards. Great to see you around!

    @Hi Debbie, Yeah unfortunately we did back into a trooper. He looked like John Goodman from 'Roseanne.' Have a wonderful weekend my friend!

    @ Martie HI! As I said, this was an accident that never could've have happened ... but it did. Thanks for the feedback!

    @Jackie Lynnley,

    Well age is just a number, Justin is a good fellow who wouldn't harm anyone. He just had his day, and people love to take advantage of young performers like him. Thanks!

    @SuzetteNaples, the cop story will be at the Library of Congress one day, if you guys keep reminding it. Lol! Well, we wanted to luagh in his face, but that cop wanted to aim at something by the way he looked at me. He was kind enough to let me go!!! Before changing his mind.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi Lathing, Yeah! I look at the positive side of the story. That fine was more that a year of adsense, and SEO. Life doesn't suck indeed.

    @Mary615, that Cop must've told his friends at the precinct. It was just an accident and we never intended get a revenge for 215 bucks. Thanks for commenting. Yeah! Too bad. We shook his whole life in a second.

    @Thomas, I tell you how he looked like: Have you ever seen a rooster after 'done' with his daily task? He was worst than that. he felt as though a monster from 'Mad Max' was backing up on him. He did feel the shake of his life though.. Thanks for that wide smile!

    Janine, This Cop wanted to take the matter in his own hands, but just said enough to tell me to go!! Before he could change his mind! We were about to laugh on his face...but we held it inside, for later!

  • GoForTheJuggler profile image

    Joshua Patrick 

    6 years ago from Texas

    Voted up for cop-induced laughter!

  • always exploring profile image

    Ruby Jean Richert 

    6 years ago from Southern Illinois

    Your comment about Bill And Monisa sucks but i got a kick out of your rant..Cheers

  • tammyswallow profile image


    6 years ago from North Carolina

    This is hilarious. I chuckled about the part of Justin Bieber and had a great belly laugh looking at the man who fell down the steps. I should feel guilty, but I couldn't help it. Just the humor I was needing today. Awesome.

  • suzettenaples profile image

    Suzette Walker 

    6 years ago from Taos, NM

    Funny! This hub definitely does not suck! I love the cop story too. It takes skill to back into a cop car. Thanks for sharing such a funny hub with us!

  • Jackie Lynnley profile image

    Jackie Lynnley 

    6 years ago from The Beautiful South

    Great story about the cop. Lord I feel so old looking at's like babies having affairs, lol.

  • MartieCoetser profile image

    Martie Coetser 

    6 years ago from South Africa

    At the end of the day one fact is as plain as a pikestaff: the lord de cross does not suck!

    Voted up across the board and funny :)

  • Deborah Brooks profile image

    Deborah Brooks Langford 

    6 years ago from Brownsville,TX backed. Into a cop...oh no! are a riot.....great friend...debbie

  • Amy Becherer profile image

    Amy Becherer 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Let's face it. The cop recognizes and enjoys the power he feels everytime he pulls someone over for a traffic violation. He knows that everyone who sees the lights come on behind them feel fear and panic. He should have known it was a risk, considering the state most people are in after getting stopped and ticketed, to pull right up to your bumper. Law enforcement training should prepare police for the unexpected when dealing with the public. Maybe he was at the donut shop that day preparing for his future? That experience truly sucks...

    But, your sense of humor lives on! Awesomely

  • Janine Huldie profile image

    Janine Huldie 

    6 years ago from New York, New York

    Joseph, I have many of those "You Suck" moments too and could relate here. Thank you for the chuckle today though, because as the mom of 2 of course I needed it big time!! Seriously was trying to picture you backing into a cop car and have that visual stuck in my head now of course. Have voted up and shared too of course.

  • ThoughtSandwiches profile image


    6 years ago from Reno, Nevada


    I woke up in Reno and was hankering for a have delivered my friend! This is extraordinarily funny and I would have paid (upwards) of three dollars to see that cop's face!!

    Thanks for the laughs!


  • mary615 profile image

    Mary Hyatt 

    6 years ago from Florida

    I see you were in a delightful humorous mood today (or whenever you wrote this). We all do stupid things, right? Backing into a copy was not the most intelligent thing you every did!

    You got my vote for awesome, and a share, too.

  • LaThing profile image


    6 years ago from From a World Within, USA

    Nope, never fell! Except when skiing and ice skating...... Snow and ice doesn't like me!! :(

    Sorry about that fine you had to pay...... BUT, look at the bright side, you had a story to tell :)

    Ok, joking aside, this hub was awesome!!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi There Josh, you have the ability to keep us laughing as well. There is no best medicine than this one! Your limericks and your style are so twinsical. Have a nice weekend buddy!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi Kelly,

    Wow! Saw that was you falling down the steps! We knew it! Hopefully Maddie and olders sisters came to the rescue, after checking their FB.

    You always leaving funny and rewarding comments lol!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi LaThing, lucky you! Had to put money aside just to pay that speeding ticket and reckless driving. You sure you never stepped on that fruit and stumbled onto the ground? Thanks for that smile. :))

    @ Maria Jordan, you are so funny! The fine part is not funny at all. though I shook the hell out of that cop, I thought I was going to be killed, the way he came to me!

  • josh3418 profile image

    Joshua Zerbini 

    6 years ago from Pennsylvania


    This is so hilarious! Everything except the fine you had to pay, that does suck! But the Kristen Stewart and Bieber and Olympic ones were way too funny! I enjoy your ability to make me laugh buddy!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    If you saw me fall down those stairs - I bet you laughed your butt off! Hahaha

    Funny Lord...your hubs go great with coffee except when I'm spitting it!

  • marcoujor profile image

    Maria Jordan 

    6 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

    Well, here's the thang... if my belly would stop hurting from all the guffawing I just did (oh, sorry about that $225... man, you have gotta be a chick but I know this is in the LORD's hands...)

    OK, so is it a sin,

    to be totally drawn in,

    by these titles that win,

    and content causin' a grin?

    Cuz if it is LORD... I'm in big fat trouble! This was "Jon Stewart funny" and I really love Jon Stewart... Voted UP & FAB! Hugs, Maria

  • LaThing profile image


    6 years ago from From a World Within, USA

    Never is my life did I fall of the stairs!! You are just jealous of my high heels :)) and the fact that you got stopped and I didn't .... lol, lol

    Still love your hub!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    LaThing, for us life is really a joke. We see characters and situations and we just burst into laughter at once. Your luck with the cops can be verified by others. Thanks for the smiles back. Yeah! We saw you falling down the steps..! Those high heels were too much for ya!

  • LaThing profile image


    6 years ago from From a World Within, USA

    Lol, great hub, JD, wonderful point..... Loved your story with the cop :) Guess what? Everytime I got stopped, I got 'Warning's, except for once in my lifetime! I wonder if all being Male Troopers had something to do with it ;)

    Hay, life is terrible ..... But someone has to live it! :))

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    KatrineDM. let's hope organizers don't mess up flags and get it right! Life can be funny and umpredictable. Hey! Have a nice one!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Dwachira, We are really following as much, but I can imagine those North Korean women trying to get even..! The picture speak for itself. Thanks for that feedback friend from Nairobi.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Bill, huh... Yeah! But you don't have to rub it. That $225 fine was enough. Springfielf Township has it on record, so it did happen! Thanks for coming by my friend.

  • profile image


    6 years ago

    Lord, the hub is still here, so it doesn't suck!

    Well, here we go, today is the opening of the Olympics here in London, let's hope we can make it through...that was a good start with that South Korean flag, LOL..Hoping for peace these coming days...

  • dwachira profile image

    [ Danson Wachira ] 

    6 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

    Very humorous lord de cross, will North Korean play again? Let us wait and see. Voted up and interesting.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 

    6 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Terribly funny! Did you really back into a cop? Now that truly does suck! I'll be thinking about that all day long and laughing every time. Great job Lord....well, not the driving part. LOL


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