Zombie Warfare Preparation: How Do I Know I'm In a Severe Zombie Outbreak?

Like most people, you wake up, shower, brush your teeth, and go to work. It’s a normal day. If you’re like me, you walk the dogs before the sun comes up and eat breakfast. How is this type of day different from any day of the zombie apocalypse?

The short answer? It isn’t.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, it will probably not come with dark clouds, ominous music playing from nowhere, or even a Paul Revere-like person riding a horse screaming, “The zombies are coming! The zombies are coming!” You won’t hear any early preambles of news reports saying, “A zombie was sighted in the Monmouth County area today. Police found and destroyed the creature.” Nor will you hear anything out of the ordinary as the local and national governments won’t want a panic on their hands.

Their first priority is to keep the entire incident contained for as long as possible.

Another thing that won’t happen is that the archangel Michael won’t come down from heaven and declare war on the undead. His presence will not be broadcast or even gleamed from his shining holy sword – nor will he announce that the war has officially begun.

None of that will happen. It will be on a day, just like today.

What will happen is that a whole bunch of news stories will be broadcast regarding the sudden insane behavior of a few sick individuals that used an exotic street drug. The drug they’re on would cause them to become berserkers and practice cannibalism. The news reports will say that the suspects were non-responsive and would not communicate.

As the infestation gets worse there will be a complete media blackout. If the military does get involved (and if there is no special task force organized to deal with this specific problem), there may be some activity near you – such as the appearance to the National Guard in the streets. Unless the military knows what they’re dealing with, guns and ammunition will only do marginal damage.

As each military campaign fails, the zombie horde will grow as it contaminates new victims adding another zombie-soldier to their number.

When the military fails, there may be some lone broadcaster who might be a survivor of one of the last incursions. He or she will either be broadcasting via CB radio or on the internet. Pay attention as these last bastions of information may help track the infestation nearest you.

When all has broken down and the dead are wandering the streets, you’ll know then that it’s all up to you and your surviving team of friends and loved ones.

Remember, facing a lone zombie against you alone or you with a bunch of friends is something that you might be able to handle. All you need is a blunt object and you can beat its head in. A tire iron will do the trick.

The problem is when you are against a horde.

All of your tricks won’t help you. Even the obvious solution of “running away” is problematic because you’ll need to slalom around a crowd of zombies that have one goal: You. So, if you are lucky enough to have running as an option, you’ll need to have a goal and run with definite purpose.

Even if you’re lucky enough to have a tire iron on hand, whacking skulls into goo is hard work. If you’ve ever spent a long period with an axe and you’ve chopped firewood, it’s almost as exhausting. Now think about chopping twenty or so logs in succession without a break and doing it quickly and cleanly. Don’t go for the neck – go for the skull.

One shot. Split the skull between the eyes and give that zombie a frontal lobotomy.

They are like ants. One fire ant is nothing. A bunch stinging your heel will give you anaphylactic shock. It’s all in the numbers. If you get surrounded by a horde, they will get you. Why? They don’t bore. They don’t eat. They don’t sleep. And they don’t do anything else that would distract them from getting to you.

And a bunch will grab you and tear you apart.

Well, what can I say? A zombie apocalypse will happen on a day just like today… or any day for that matter. Your best chance of surviving one lies in preparedness.

Listen to the news. Keep your ears open. If you hear unusually news like the bath salts incidents, try to pay more attention. See if there are more in the area. If that area is near you, start making plans.

This entire series of articles is for you to know what to do in this kind of situation. You need to know not only when to fight, but also when to run and hide.