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Zombie Warfare Preparation: How Do I Know I'm In a Severe Zombie Outbreak?

Updated on October 24, 2012
How many zombies are too many?
How many zombies are too many? | Source

It's Just Another Day

Like most people, you wake up, shower, brush your teeth, and go to work. It’s a normal day. If you’re like me, you walk the dogs before the sun comes up and eat breakfast. How is this type of day different from any day of the zombie apocalypse?

The short answer? It isn’t.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, it will probably not come with dark clouds, ominous music playing from nowhere, or even a Paul Revere-like person riding a horse screaming, “The zombies are coming! The zombies are coming!” You won’t hear any early preambles of news reports saying, “A zombie was sighted in the Monmouth County area today. Police found and destroyed the creature.” Nor will you hear anything out of the ordinary as the local and national governments won’t want a panic on their hands.

Their first priority is to keep the entire incident contained for as long as possible.

Another thing that won’t happen is that the archangel Michael won’t come down from heaven and declare war on the undead. His presence will not be broadcast or even gleamed from his shining holy sword – nor will he announce that the war has officially begun.

None of that will happen. It will be on a day, just like today.

What will most likely happen

What will happen is that a whole bunch of news stories will be broadcast regarding the sudden insane behavior of a few sick individuals that used an exotic street drug. The drug they’re on would cause them to become berserkers and practice cannibalism. The news reports will say that the suspects were non-responsive and would not communicate.

As the infestation gets worse there will be a complete media blackout. If the military does get involved (and if there is no special task force organized to deal with this specific problem), there may be some activity near you – such as the appearance to the National Guard in the streets. Unless the military knows what they’re dealing with, guns and ammunition will only do marginal damage.

As each military campaign fails, the zombie horde will grow as it contaminates new victims adding another zombie-soldier to their number.

When the military fails, there may be some lone broadcaster who might be a survivor of one of the last incursions. He or she will either be broadcasting via CB radio or on the internet. Pay attention as these last bastions of information may help track the infestation nearest you.

Do you think you're ready for the zombie apocalypse?

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When is it really bad?

When all has broken down and the dead are wandering the streets, you’ll know then that it’s all up to you and your surviving team of friends and loved ones.

Remember, facing a lone zombie against you alone or you with a bunch of friends is something that you might be able to handle. All you need is a blunt object and you can beat its head in. A tire iron will do the trick.

The problem is when you are against a horde.

All of your tricks won’t help you. Even the obvious solution of “running away” is problematic because you’ll need to slalom around a crowd of zombies that have one goal: You. So, if you are lucky enough to have running as an option, you’ll need to have a goal and run with definite purpose.

Even if you’re lucky enough to have a tire iron on hand, whacking skulls into goo is hard work. If you’ve ever spent a long period with an axe and you’ve chopped firewood, it’s almost as exhausting. Now think about chopping twenty or so logs in succession without a break and doing it quickly and cleanly. Don’t go for the neck – go for the skull.

One shot. Split the skull between the eyes and give that zombie a frontal lobotomy.

They are like ants. One fire ant is nothing. A bunch stinging your heel will give you anaphylactic shock. It’s all in the numbers. If you get surrounded by a horde, they will get you. Why? They don’t bore. They don’t eat. They don’t sleep. And they don’t do anything else that would distract them from getting to you.

And a bunch will grab you and tear you apart.

Final Words

Well, what can I say? A zombie apocalypse will happen on a day just like today… or any day for that matter. Your best chance of surviving one lies in preparedness.

Listen to the news. Keep your ears open. If you hear unusually news like the bath salts incidents, try to pay more attention. See if there are more in the area. If that area is near you, start making plans.

This entire series of articles is for you to know what to do in this kind of situation. You need to know not only when to fight, but also when to run and hide.


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    • cperuzzi profile image

      Christopher Peruzzi 5 years ago from Freehold, NJ

      Ahhh yes, the fine art of zombie killing. That may be my next hub.

      In the meantime, I think my survival stories after Hurricane Sandy may take precedence.

    • krsharp05 profile image

      Kristi Sharp 5 years ago from Born in Missouri. Raised in Minnesota.

      Since rfmoran has a treehouse and you are the official zombie killer, I'm betting on the odds - we figure out a place to meet and....I will hide. I love reading your hubs because I'm guaranteed to either learn a lot or really laugh. You write so well, you are articulate and enjoyable. Thanks for the fantastic info! Awesome, Funny & Up -K

    • cperuzzi profile image

      Christopher Peruzzi 5 years ago from Freehold, NJ

      abbykorinnelee: Yes, losing the internet would suck. However, the reason you've lost the internet is because you have no electricity in your house. You may actually have a live phone jack or cable connection (no router, but you may have cable). Provided your ISP has power, you should actually be good to go if you do a direct connect.

      This is why I suggest going old school. Back in the day, before you younguns were on the internets, we old farts used to play around with CB radio. A healthy viewing of the first "Smokey and the Bandit" would give you a taste as to what it was like. And before that was HAM radio operators.

      In any event, given the environment and possibility of limited power sources, a CB (Citzen's Band Radio) can get power from the gas in your car. That should provide a temporary solution for your information problems and allow you to take the radio with you as you are on the run and switching from car to car.

      Readers of Stephen King's "The Stand" will remember that without anyone running the machines, they will just shut down. As we are not an Amish society, we've grown addicted to electricity and would need to reinvent ourselves without that dependency during an outbreak.

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran 5 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Yes, I read your excellent tree house hub. Solid tactical as well as strategic advice. Please keep these hubs coming - BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

    • cperuzzi profile image

      Christopher Peruzzi 5 years ago from Freehold, NJ

      rfmoran: You've either been reading my other Zombie Preparedness posts or are on the same wavelength as me. In case you're not, have a read at

      It really is a good strategic position in the event of a horde.

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow 5 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      The worst I think about the Zombies coming is loss of the internet...not sure I would know what to do when not trying to stay alive:)

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran 5 years ago from Long Island, New York

      As long as I have my tree house I'm not worried. I fear to wake up to a headline in the morning newspaper that reads: "Zombie found tampering with Goggle search algorithm." We will know that the apocalypse is upon us.

    • cperuzzi profile image

      Christopher Peruzzi 5 years ago from Freehold, NJ

      Always remember,... breathe.

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow 5 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      I used to laugh at people that thought this could happen but I do have to say, while my family and I engage in watching the Walking Dead faithfully...we have started tossing out ideas of how this could really happen and I have to say...I wouldn't be ready but I do think I would be aware enough to at least realize how not to just stand there with my mouth hanging open and not killing them thinking that they are somehow still human:) Survival instincts kick in and mommy mode to protect young overpowers and I think with some survival training, however limited it was, I live with someone who has a ton of it and I am comfortable enough to say I won't deny it is possible and I wouldn't just let the government convince me what they say is true as I know their Autism b.s. is just that...b.s. and I have found what I believe is the truth with them telling me I am wrong of course. I don't think necssarily its a conspiracy but I do think that this kind of thing would make so many panic that they wouldn't release the truth until its too late because our government is a bit egotistical in thinking they are capable of dealing with everything and are almost all knowing...okay enough of my almost soap box...I don't distrust the government nor do I totally trust them either...but if you are hundred percent ready maybe I need to stick to a path that leads me to someone like you who is joking:)