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I want to know the meaning of a dream I have had several times in four years.
They started almost 4 years ago after my husbands death of suicide. Its the same dream just different places and people involved. The dream is that he is still alive but is not wanting me to find out. Someone is always talking to him on a phone call in my dream. I have spoken out loud in my dreams out loud saying that I couldn't believe we had his funeral and he doesn't want to see his daughter not I. Kind's like he had a mid-life crisis and just disappeared and faked it all. This dream makes me feel so sad and hurt that he is still alive but doesn't want me to know or see me.
What I would do with this dream, I would place myself in the shoes of each character and symbol, and write out (without censoring) would happen if you just followed your train of thoughts (and feelings) from where they left off in your dream. Just write. Do not judge, or, evaluate. Write until you cannot write any more. Then, have a quick read and put it away for 2-3 days. Watch your dreams in the meanwhile and then comeback to what you wrote. The pieces will start to come together.
To me, that, you get this phone call in your dream is saying you are in touch with your super/subconscious. There is a message and it will become clear. When you are ready, you will "get it". Just trust...I hope that helps
Sounds you refuse to accept he could want out of his life.
Generally survivors of suicide either empathize with the deceased and their unhappiness or they are angry at them and feel their choice was a "selfish act".
If someone is truly depressed/unhappy and can't foresee a change they may want out. For them their misery is permanent.
Life is a (personal) journey.
Very few people really "live for others".
Having something (you) "look forward to" is one secret to getting through tough times. One can only imagine how miserable/hopeless one must (feel) to kill them self.
Once you stop making his death about you and your daughter the dreams will stop. A midlife crisis is wanting a (different life).
Suicide is the act of giving up on life altogether.
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