message through solitary

  1. kanika ilango profile image59
    kanika ilangoposted 6 years ago

    I WAS ALONE THROUGH OUT THAT NIGHT,
    EVERYWHERE IT WAS DARK WITHOUT A RAY OF LIGHT,
    THERE WAS NO ONE THAT THE LAND LOOKED BARE,
    I FELT BAD THOUGH THIS SITUATION IS RARE.

    I WENT TO THE LAKE & SAT NEAR IT,
    DARKNESS VANISHED AS THE MOON WAS LIT,
    LAKE GLITTERED AS THE MOON WAS SEEN,
    I WAS HAPPIER THAN EVER I HAVE BEEN.

    I FELT AT EASE IN MY MIND,
    AND SOUL TO'VE GOT A FRIEND,
    SOMEONE WHO WON'T REFUSE FOR MY SAKE TO 'VE HER TIME SPEND,
    AS I SAW SMILE IN HER CHARMING FACE,
    I GOT ANSWERS FOR COUNTLESS QUESTIONS,
    THAT I WASN'T ABLE TO TRACE.

    TEARS WHICH I ONCE HAD IN MY EYES,
    NEVER CAME BACK,
    AND LEFT BACK THE HAPPINESS CAKE SLICE,
    EVEN SORROW TOO LEFT ME SAYING BYE,
    BUT SAID ATLAST YOU'VE TO FACE EVERYTHING,
    IF YOU LIKE TO SURVIVE!

  2. Aficionada profile image90
    Aficionadaposted 6 years ago

    kanika ilango, you have shared some lovely words and memorable images here.  May I suggest three things? 

    One is to turn this unto a Hub, perhaps with others poems or even alone. Do include some additional information about the inspiration for the poem(s) and maybe some pictures with it. 

    Second, please use sentence case printing, rather than all caps.  Using all capital letters gives the impression of shouting or even of angry yelling, and that impression grates against the images you want to evoke here. 

    Third, as with all writing, it will be helpful for you to return to this from time to time to edit and polish it so that it can continue to improve and express exactly what you intend in the most effective way possible.

 
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