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Cheap Easy Food Recipes For People Who Don't Cook: A Salmon (Or Tuna, Or Chicken, Or Ham) Pasta Dish

Updated on March 7, 2008

First, have severed fish parts bought to you in a tin prison...

Take the processed noodlage...

Irradiate your vegetable matter...

And break into your cheese block stash for the final coup de grace...

I crave more...

If you crave more, more can be found at Bad Cook Recipes, where useful and instructional recipes such as the Fancy Fancy Cucumber Sammich Video Guide can be found, as well as Advanced Toast Recipes.

If you're single and culinarily challenged, then cooking becomes rather a chore. The pangs of hunger generally have one running for chips, candy, or if you're feeling like being healthy, something microwaved from the freezer. Sometimes it seems that getting hungry is just a distraction from surfing for Internet titillation, or making that laundry tower you've been working on for some time now.

Warning: For people who can or do cook, some of these recipes in this series may seem blasphemous. They involve little to no seasoning and substandard ingredients. However these are written for the portion of the population that really can't be bothered with the process of cooking, but nonetheless would prefer not to die of malnutrition. Sure, it would be healthier to go to the store and purchase some fresh fish, but who has time for that when the American Idol auditions are on?

If you fall into the relatively large portion of people for whom food is a necessary evil, instead of turning to fast foods that will destroy your budget and kill you with additives and heart disease, try this recipe next time you feel hungry.

Salmon and Pasta With Vegetables and Cheese Sauce

This is a pretty simple dish that can be made relatively quickly from canned and pre packaged goods, but is still probably more healthy than a microwave dinner. It contains protein, vegetables, and carbohydrate, so it makes for a relatively complete meal as well.


  • Can of Salmon
  • Cheese
  • Pasta/Noodles/Ramen at a pinch
  • Mixed Vegetables (Microwave steam pouch, boil in bag, or if you want to get really fancy, you can boil your own. Ooo la la.)

What to do next:

Cook the pasta/noodles/ramen/whatever. Directions are on the packet. If the noodles come in a plastic cup, chances are that you can pour boiling water into them and just wait. If you want to take it to the limit, you can boil water in a pot and add the pasta when the water comes to a rolling boil (A rolling boil being a fancy term for bubbling lots.) Remove when al dente, (when there is still a little resistance when you bite into the pasta, rather than it being a completely sloppy mess.)

Cook the vegetables. You can do this by adding them to boiling water, or putting them in the microwave. Get them nice and soft, but not too soft, vegetables are quite nice al dente.

Open can of salmon and stir it about a bit to break up the flesh.

Drain pasta, add the salmon and the vegetables.

Now comes the cheesy sauce part of the equations. There are two ways to go here, the lazy way, and the completely lazy way. The lazy way involves heating a little milk and flour in a pan and adding grated cheese until it comes to a nice saucy consistency. The completely lazy way is simply to grate cheese over the pasta, sauce, and vegetables.

Eat Dinner.

Et Voila! You have fed yourself with something other than fast food! This recipe can be used for other types of fish, as mentioned in the title, and you can also make it with chicken, or ham, or other meat products. You could even take out the meat entirely and have it vegetarian style.If really stretched you could go pirate style and make it with leather shoe scraps too at a pinch, but I wouldn't recommend too highly.


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