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7 Reasons that Frugal People Don’t Get Into Long Distance Relationships

Updated on January 9, 2011

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They say that love knows no bounds. However, your pocketbook certainly knows a lot of bounds. Like it or not, engaging in a long distance relationship can end up costing you a lot more money than if you choose to date someone in your own zip code. People who really want to live frugally may want to consider ending their long distance relationship for this reason. Even if you decide not to end the relationship, it’s important to be aware of the extra costs that you’re incurring by living apart so that you can find ways to reduce those costs.

Check out these 7 reasons that long distance relationships are expensive:

1.     The cost of traveling to see one another. One of the biggest expenses in the long distance relationship is the cost of traveling to be together. Some people only see each other once or twice per year. Others travel as frequently as every week to be with one another. Those costs add up either way. If you want to be frugal then you may consider giving up your long distance relationship purely because the cost of seeing one another is too high. Alternatively, you should at least consider cutting back on frequent travel. You may choose instead to see each other less frequently but for longer periods of time. Note, however, that this can impact your income if you’re not working while you’re visiting your long distance sweetie.

2.     The cost of living in two separate homes. When you live in the same city as the person that you’re dating you usually end up moving in together at some point in the relationship. This allows you to split the costs of rent or mortgage, utilities and even groceries. If your lover is in a different city then you may never move in together or at least the process of doing so may be delayed for a long time because of the complications of relocating. You’ll each keep paying a lot of money to live alone in your own city. If you’re not willing to give up your long distance relationship to save money then you may at least want to consider alternatives such as getting roommates to share your home costs.

3.      The cost of buying and sending gifts to one another. When you don’t live in the same city as your significant other, you need to find ways to stay close to each other. One of the most common ways that long distance lovers do this is by sending each other gifts. These gifts range from very small tokens of love to very extravagant gifts. Although you may give gifts to a local partner as well, it tends to be less frequent than the gifts that you send when you’re in a long distance relationship. Additionally, you have to pay the cost of shipping when you buy a gift for someone who lives in another city. These gifts add up. If you’re not willing to give up your long distance relationship to save money then you should start looking for ways to cut back on the cost of gifts. This may include sending less expensive gifts (such as homemade gifts) or reducing the frequency of gift buying and finding other inexpensive ways to show your love and commitment instead.

4.     The cost of mail and other communication. Even if you aren’t sending gifts to your long distance partner, you may be sending handwritten letters and cards to let them know that you’re thinking about them. With postage regularly on the rise, this can end up being expensive. Other forms of communication can be pricey, too. If you live in different countries then phone calls can be pricey. Or you may be spending extra money each month for unlimited text messaging to your partner. Try to reduce your costs by looking into cheap alternatives such as email instead of snail mail and Skype instead of more expensive phone calls.

5.     The cost of entertaining yourself. One of the things that you might end up spending a lot of money on without even realizing it is keeping yourself busy when you’re not with your partner. People who live together in the same city often spend a lot of time just hanging out together. If you don’t have your partner there to do that with you then you may find yourself spending money to keep yourself entertained. Going out with friends, taking classes and attending events are all things that cost money. Sure, you might spend that money if you were with your partner, too, but chances are that you’re spending more because you have more time that you’re lonely that you need to keep busy. If you don’t want to give up your relationship then focus your efforts on finding free and cheap ways to keep yourself busy when you’re spending all of that time alone.

6.     The cost of dates when you do see your partner. During the times when you and your long distance lover finally do get together, you may want to make up for all of that lost time by enjoying extravagant dates together. Instead of going to a cheap local play down the street you buy tickets to see something on Broadway. Instead of cooking together at night, you go to a fancy dinner. Those costs can add up, too, increasing the cost of living apart from your other half. Challenge yourselves to enjoy your time together in frugal ways since it’s the time together that really matters and not what you do on your dates.

7.     The cost of staying healthy and sane. Long distance relationships can cause a lot of stress. This can result in both physical and mental health issues. You may find yourself going to the doctor to deal with those issues or even just getting more frequent massages and haircuts to make yourself feel better. You may need to work with a therapist to deal with the difficulties of a long distance relationship. Don’t deny yourself professional care if you need it but do be aware that this can be yet another expense of relationships and may be worse for some people in long distance relationships depending upon how they handle the unique strain of that situation.


Submit a Comment

  • kathryn1000 profile image


    7 years ago from London

    Really useful though not very romantic!!

  • katiem2 profile image


    7 years ago from I'm outta here

    What a delightful and refreshing topic. So true and yet I had not considered the reality as to why frugal people don't get into long distance relationships.

    This is awesome and very helpful for those wondering why the person of interest may not be into a long distance relationship other than a lack of interest in them. Maybe they could be friends, just pen pals. Well Done! :) Katie

  • Real_Words profile image


    7 years ago

    Love it! Speak the truth!

  • poojabrahmi profile image


    7 years ago

    Honestly speaking, no matter you can afford all these costs or not. If you are in love you find ways to be in touch.

    With the invent of video conference through skype and other messengers it has become quite convenient to be in touch with your loved ones. No matter how many gifts you send nothing can substitute the companionship and the touch of your partner. I myself have not seen my husband for months and it sux big time. No technology or money power can give you a sense of relief if you are not physically together.

  • LSpel profile image

    Lydia McCarter 

    7 years ago from The Murder Mitten

    Great hub! And SO true. When my husband (fiance at the time) flew me to South Korea, it was over 3000 dollars. I did this trip three times. Plus all of the communication expenses (for us phone cards). It def. was not a frugal friendly relationship.


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