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Teach Children How to be Successful

Updated on October 30, 2013

Raise Your Children Better & Smarter

The most important job that any of us will ever face is the job of raising children. Parents with the best intentions have a deep desire to provide a better environment for their children than what their own parents provided for them. But, ultimately what do we wish for our children in their future? Whether we are willing to say it out loud or not most parents greatest desire is that their children be better off financially than they are, and that they never suffer the daily grind with little to show for it as most of us set ourselves up for.

The question then becomes, how are you going to prepare your children for success?

Undoubtedly the best answers to this heavy question is to change your own way of thinking and adopt the mindset of success oriented entrepreneurs and pass it on to your children in the same way that John D. Rockefeller passed the ability to manage money on to his children. There are rich families that have inherited their wealth from a super human go-getter, but before you go on with the cliche lines such as, "he was born lucky" ect., you should open up your mind to the fact that while there are these super rich families that seem to spend fortunes with no end in site, there are also many extremely wealthy families that, due to poor teaching, go completely broke within three generations. Yes, they simply spend millions upon millions without any coaching as to how money works and they go broke just as many lottery winners have. Therefore, teaching children how to manage what they have in order to maximize their money is extremely important, no matter how much or how little they have.

Next time you feel like attacking Mitt Romney for having a well to do father, just think of how rare an individual Mitt Romney is. He made more that 10 times what his father did, and it was not in the least bit an easy task. Going through the schooling to achieve a law degree, and a business degree from Harvard back when the name "Harvard" still meant something, and building businesses took a determination that few people will ever possess. Very few offspring of wealth come close to achieving what their powerful elders do, the reason being is that they don't have to, and they simply retire to laziness.

Some may think that a life of doing what one wants could be attractive, but if you really want the best for your children this is not a good way to live. If you don't agree, just think about celebrity wealth such as Macaulay Culkin, or Dana Plato. Two child celebrities who did not have to achieve a business in the way Mitt Romney, or Donald Trump did. These celebrities simply had greatness thrust upon them while they were still children. They did not have to know about budgeting, delegating, or education, instead, they got what they wanted by being who they were, and when the plug was pulled, they went crazy wandering around clueless as to how survival works.

This is a scenario I use because most lower or middle class people don't want to teach about how to build a business, budget a lifestyle and leverage assets. This is the foundation for how middle class people achieve and hold on to their wealth. If you truly want your child to be better off than you were you must understand what the rich know and the middle class ignore.

If you are clueless, I highly recommend getting your brain on track by reading Rich Dad Poor Dad, The Millionaire Net Door, and Think and Grow Rich. These are three great books that will make you look at money in a completely different light.

Train Your Kids for Success

The Ultimate Goal of Raising Children

Children and money do not go hand in hand.

What is the ultimate goal of child rearing? I have heard many different answers to this question, but I believe the most universally accurate answer is that the ultimate goal is that our children become better off financially than we are. And as a result, they are happily in control of their lives, and carry out a responsible life.

When you come to think about it, that is precisely what our hopes and dreams in life are. Everything we do today is with the hope that the future will bring the kind of security that we have struggled with for our children.

Knowing this, I am amazed at how little effort and attention is given to the understanding of finances by parents. For the most part, many parents buy everything under the sun in an effort to make their children happy. The end result is that they have children who do not know the value of a dollar, and that is scary, because it leads to lack of control and misery.

It further scares me because I have looked around and seen my friends who have children now in their early 20's, who have no assets, and no way of acquiring any, because they are just not programmed to make any sacrifices, and discipline themselves to make it happen.

A lady who once worked for me was a single mom of three, and I could not believe how much she gave her kids. They were spoiled, with toys, cell phones, computers, and now that they have grown into their teens and young adulthood, she pays their car insurance, and cell phone bills. This was a woman's income is not high, even if she only had one child, it would be meager, but she wanted her kids to live like they were millionaires.

Living too well is really not a good thing for children to become accustomed to, and I believe that the rich have a real obstacle when raising their children. Yes, they need to teach the value of money and responsibility of going to school, instead of just kicking back with the piece of mind that they can inherit everything.

It is easier to give than to teach. The rich and the poor are both guilty of giving without teaching, and I am most impressed by families like the Romney family, because they obviously put a lot of effort into teaching and guiding.

George Romney started out poor and acquired great wealth, but his son did not just lay back and inherit, he went to school, and got a first class education, which is not easy, even if you have money, and went on to the business and political scene, working hard and achieving even more. This could have easily gone in the opposite direction if his family were simply providing things, the way my employee-single mom of three does.

The Romney family is a sharp contrast to the very wealthy family I lived two blocks from while growing up. Three sons born into luxury, and privilege who never worked and were too lazy to go to school. They grew up to become unhappy, and and neither of the three boys achieved anything in life. Two of the threes sons have passed away in their early forties from alcoholism. A wasted life. I recall the working class saying that this family had it made. But, they really did not. Because If you don't know what you have, its impossible to really appreciate it. The only way of knowing that your wealth is a blessing, is to go without. How does one do that when they live in a grand mansion? Well, you can't take the site of your grand mansion away from your kids, but they can have chores that they are expected to do with a genuine work ethic, and a small allowance, to learn the value of money, and not over spend.

For some reason there is a growing attitude in the middle to lower income families these days, that if you don't give as much as you can afford to give, you don't love your children, and are just being selfish. One of my all time worst employees who was really a nice lady, was a die hard democrat, and she was always harping on why this particular family who are so well off did not give their son the top of the line computer, ect. This lady was a giver to her family. She also filed for bankruptcy and lives in the bitter world of "poor me."

It seems to be human nature to have less appreciation for what comes easily. We simply do not appreciate what we do not work for.

How to Bet Sure That Your Child Does Not Become Spoiled, No Matter how well Off You Are.

The key to creating a solid foundation is assigning chores, and giving an allowance. Never start giving randomly. This makes it easy for children to perceive that you are a bottomless pit of money. It is also wise to encourage children to learn and understand investing, rather than spending.They can be introduced to a Credit union vs. a Bank, and a Money Market account. This is a great way to introduce "money working for you."

Be Firm With Allowance:

A very difficult thing to do, but this is a very valuable learning experience that can create a solid foundation of responsibility. If they want something for $50, and they spend hours working for it, by the time they can afford what they wanted they will often think,"do I really want this?" That is a good sign, because after putting time, and effort into acquiring the $50, they will ponder how important what they want really is. If you simply buy it for them, they will take it, and throw it in their room with all the rest of their stuff.

As a child my father made a good living, and my mom stayed home, but I paid for my first car by myself, as well as the miscellaneous things I wanted or needed. By my mid teens, I just did not want to ask my parents for anything. I figured out how to earn money and buy what I needed. With this came a feeling of satisfaction, and accomplishment. I find myself looking back on my lessons in life a lot now and I can't help but be grateful that I was not spoiled as I see what has become of my spoiled friends.

The Easy Way Of Dealing With Kids is Not The Smartest Way

Since giving is easier than teaching, many parents are guilty of spoiling their kids, making their adult lives more difficult and stressful.

I wonder what will become of my employee's three kids. They are now ranging in ages 28-22. At that age I owned a condo and had a job while I was working my way through school. These kids complain about not getting enough handouts from their "selfish" mother. She is appalled at the mean things they call her, but she refused to take control when they were young enough to learn from her, taking offense to those who said she needed to discipline her kids, firing back with, "l love may kids, and want them to live well." How are they going to live well without her?

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      chrisinhawaii 4 years ago

      Frankly Skarlet...this is a very good hub.

      I know that not all parents would agree completely with your approach to chores and allowance, but since I'm one of the ones that DOES completely agree, I am voting up, useful, and awesome!

      Aloha!

    • Skarlet profile image
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      Skarlet 4 years ago from California

      Thank you christinhawaii,

      Yes, I know what you mean. I live in California, and have noticed that the parents are becoming more "offended" by chores, but its hard to argue with the end result.

      Thank you so much for your kind comment.

      Aloha to you..

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Skarlet... This is the Hub of all for all Parents!! All of this behind me now, I truly can attest to the great importance of teaching our kids the value of money...how to handle it....and HOW TO UNDERSTAND IT MUST BE EARNED.

      On a personal note, I am very grateful for what I was taught by my parents. In all sincerity, if I had not had the great training and example in this dept....my life would have been so much more difficult.

      My kids? That was easy. As a single Mom with 4 sons, working my butt off, I did not have the option to "GIVE" them money. Trust me, they never went without, but in the meantime I handed down the knowledge I learned.

      My first born is a family-financial guru.....the other 3, not so much (hit or miss)...but guess what!

      They married women SMART enough to know THEY must handle the money!! LOL......sorry boys!!

    • Skarlet profile image
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      Skarlet 4 years ago from California

      @fpherj48- 4 Sons by yourself, Wow! That is an accomplishment. Very difficult, its great that they are all doing well by figuring out what to do, or marrying it. Hehe.

      It is especially difficult because we are learning as we go along. But so many parents here are giving what they can't afford, repeatedly.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      hahahahahahaha......I'll bet you didn't realize how funny that comment would be to me....."figuring out what to do or marrying it"......Skarlet, that cracks me up. If you understood the awesome, down to earth relationship my sons and I have.......I think I'll translate that for them as: "Having a brain or marrying one!!" LMAO......but as usual I can tease about something like this becase they are all quite intelligent & successful.......(but MEN !! nonetheless.)

    • Skarlet profile image
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      Skarlet 4 years ago from California

      Hehe. Glad you found it amusing. Of course that is how I intended it. I think its wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your sons. Congrats to you on that!

    • celeste inscribed profile image

      Celeste Wilson 4 years ago

      I agree with not giving a child everything he wants and I don't . I think the problem is compounded when you have additional adults in the house who don't think the same way. My parents live with me and they just give, give, give. It drives me crazy. It is a constant counter attack from my end. My son needs to earn his allowance from me.

    • Skarlet profile image
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      Skarlet 4 years ago from California

      @ celeste inscribed- thank you for stopping by.

      That is a problem.

      Your parents want to be the giving grandparents and that is most definitely be a hindrance to teaching. I have a friend with the same situation going on. The kids have learned to bypass their mom, and go straight to the grandparents.

      Maybe if you have a talk with your parents and inform them about this situation and add that my friend's children are now in their early and mid 20's still asking for handouts from their grandparents on a regular basis. And if they are not given what they want, they pout, throw tantrums, call their parents and grandparents names, and have even resorted to stealing what they want.

      The giving has not resorted in appreciation as is so often is not. It has resorted in weakening the children, and making them dependent on the handouts. I don't know what they will do when they don't have any grandparents. That is actually frightening.

      Its a tough situation but You are right, Your son needs to earn his allowance from you.

      Good Luck

    • celeste inscribed profile image

      Celeste Wilson 4 years ago

      Hi Skarlet, we are setting up some bounderies, thank goodness, but old habits die hard. Hopefully in the end it will all balance out between learning generosity from his grandparents and the need to earn rewards from me. Crossing my fingers.

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