ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Do You Want Some Of this?

Updated on March 14, 2010

My son , 23, came in the door. Just like many other nights he was drunk. But something was different this time. He had this look in his eye that really scared me. He went on to bed where his girl was already in the bed, and my grandson sleeping peacefully in his crib. My room was right across the hall from theirs.
I hear voices just as I doze off and know that this will be another sleepless night, another night of refereeing. "Damn" I remember thinking. So I just lay there and listen. They get louder and I grow concerned for my grandson who was 2 then. So I get up and go to the living room, my insides shaking.
They get louder and I hear noise in the room and the baby starts crying, I go to the door and knock, my son opens the door, "What the fuck do you want?" I was taken aback by his words. I asked" What is going on in here?", as she cries. She is laying on the bed. "It's none of your fucking business ", he says. I couldn't believe this was the son I was raised, guided and loved. I said son "Do not hurt her", he got right in my face and said "Do you want some of this? I will beat your ass too." I told him "You will play hell beating my ass son, now let me in here so i can get this baby. He didn't ask to be born to either one of you." As I went out the door, I told her to come on out with me but he slammed the door.
The baby and I sat in the living room and listened to the black noise coming from that room. A few minutes later she comes out on the pretense of using the restroom and comes down the hall and calls 911. Here he comes running down the hall and says "You didn't call the fucking cops on me, hang up!" I just looked at him as he slams the phone down and said, "It's too late, they already have the address, they will be here.".
He runs in the bedroom and throws on some clothes. By the time he gets to the car, they are coming down the street. He runs, off into the woods.
The police come and talk to us, she doesn't press charges. They take all the information down for future reference, if such is needed. They leave her with information, if needed, as to where to go for help, or to seek shelter.
We knew it wasn't over. She is sitting on the steps smoking a cigarette, and I am watching for him. I hear a noise to my right and here he is running up toward us. I tell her to get in the house. We get in and lock the door. He comes to the door. I am standing there, looking at this son that I love so much, and I don't know who he is anymore. He says," Just let me in Mom, I just want to get in my bed and go to sleep". I wanted so badly to believe that all would be well and to just let him in, it is winter and it is cold outside. I said , "Son , go sleep in your truck." God how it broke my heart to say that to him, to put my flesh and blood out in the cold, this child was born of my body, and loved so deeply. "Well. just give me some fucking socks", he said as I shut the door. "You fucking bitch." He had to have the last word.
My precious little grandson slept deeply next to me. And my sons girl was able to get a good nights rest too. Me, I cried myself to sleep, God how it hurt. It wasn't the first time for a situation like this, and it wouldn't be the last.
He was hooked on cocaine and it made him a mean hateful persom. Not The sweet, innocent son I raised. A Mom's heart, always loving, always forgiving, always hoping for the best for their child. Drugs and domestic abuse are a thief of life and love and time.
He is better now 1 1/2 years later. No cocaine, but distant still to me. Whether out of guilt, or freedom from the home he once knew, I don't know. I only know this, He is my son and no matter what, I love him. And I forgive him. Just as God forgives us time after time, because we are HIs children and He loves us, I  forgive my son and welcome him with open arms when I see him, because he is my child.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • singlmomat52 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      That would be so nice. It is getting better but still drugs in use. No it is not easy but support and prayer are mighty works in assisting. Thank you for your nice comment!!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      If I could give your family one thing, it would be to break the cycles of addiction. Not an easy thing. Good luck to you and keep writing ,its good for us all....


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)