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Jeannieinabottle for President 2012

Updated on September 4, 2012
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!


My Major Announcement

My fellow Americans (and any other folks reading this), I have a major announcement I would like to make and I feel Hubpages is the best website to make this most important declaration. I also feel that July 4th is the best day to do it. My friends, you are reading history in the making!

I, Jeannieinabottle (a.k.a. Jeannie or that weird chick on Hubpages), am announcing my intention to run for the President of the United States of America in 2012. I know! This is an amazing moment in U.S. history. Of course, I have no idea how to really run for president, but it seems like everyone else is giving it shot, so why not me?

As you can imagine, I am really excited. I hope I can count on you for your vote. After all, last time I checked, I have over 750 followers on Hubpages. That seems like enough to get this campaign started. I feel like I am reasonably well-liked, so maybe I sort of have a shot at this. Sure, I have no political experience at all, but I am not going to let a little thing like that stop me.

I am hoping to run as an Independent candidate. Perhaps I can get Hillary Clinton to run with me as the Vice President candidate. After all, one of us needs to know what we are doing. That is certainly not going to be me, so I sure hope she is willing to team up with me.

You may ask, "Jeannie, what type of issues are you going to tackle? What are you going to change once you become President?" Well, folks, I am happy to share some campaign promises with you. Sure, I probably won't follow through with all of them, but why not make some promises I can't keep just like every other politician?

Changing Government Spending

Quite frankly, I feel like the government spends too much money. I mean, when I am President, I totally want lots of money, but everyone else - you are getting salary decreases. There are plenty of positions that are simply unnecessary. I am getting rid of those positions as soon as I take office.

Then again, I have a number of friends that work for the government. Don't worry - I won't get rid of your jobs. As a matter of fact, I will give all of my friends raises. Hey, wait... is that legal? Pretend I never said that!

More Lottery Winnings

I feel like as a nation, we need more lottery drawings. Most of all, we need more lottery winnings. We need something to look forward to as a society. So let's start awarding more people. Let's just start passing out lottery winnings. I am sure with all the people I fire in government, there will be plenty of extra cash to toss into the lottery winnings.

Just remember, folks, you've got to play to win. I am not trying to encourage an entire nation to become gamblers, but hey, have a little fun with the lottery. There should probably be more scratch off tickets, too.

A Little History for You...

Flex Spending Accounts

If you've read my hub, "My Email to the President," you are already familiar with my frustration due to the new health care laws. Anyone with a Flex Spending Account is no longer allowed to purchase over-the-counter medications without a prescription. This is silly since the whole purpose of buying an over-the-counter medication is to avoid a trip to the doctor's office.

When I become President, you will be able to use your Flex Spending Accounts again to buy Claritin, Tylenol, Prilosec, or any other over-the-counter drugs that your heart desires. In fact, perhaps the standards should become even more relaxed. For instance, why not start adding other fun stuff like vitamins, vitamin water... maybe just water... how about soda? Oh, the list will go on and on. Awesome!

Gay Marriage Will Be Legal!

Gay marriage is going to be legal. I don't understand why this is an issue. Any person that wants to marry another person should be able to do it. Why do people get upset over this? If you don't like gay marriage, well... don't marry a gay person. That is so super easy. The basic theme here is: mind your own business! Gay people are awesome. If you are allowed to marry the person you want to marry, why are you denying that right to someone else?

Wait a minute... did this hub just take a serious turn? That can't be good. Let's get back on track.

Let's Wrap This Up

In closing, I would be honored to be your President. I hope I can count on you for your vote. I believe we can change this country and make it the best in the world!

Of course, there is still that stinky economy problem, but I am sure once I start giving out plenty of lottery winnings, all our financial issues will be behind us. Then again, if you saw my credit card bills you would realize I know nothing about finances, but let's not discuss that. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you at the polls!

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