Social Issues: In Search of Common Decency

Bill,

It is never too late to spread this message. I will see about effer's hub, I may have read it but this sure sounds like her as well.

Gosh, decency and respect and courtesy... Such basics yet so very sadly lacking in many of today's scenarios.

One of the quotes I read often in my collected journals is:

"You should never be surprised when someone treats you with respect, you would expect it. ". ( Sarah Dessen)

You are like a daily tune up of inspiration to me, Bill. I love every visit I have made...thank you. Voted UP and UABI. Hugs, Maria

Yes, Bill. Wish we could all practice graciousness, & it is a big thing with me when I experience things like what you did in the car park. We can afford to be kinder and more humble!! Thanks for sharing!

I was going to write a book once The rudeness of the American Population. I am always disappointed to see how rude people are. I was in Costco one day and there was one cart left and a lovely woman got in front of me and said "let me get that for you" and she took off with it. People are rude everywhere. I have always been overly polite and helpful..I am not bragging but to me it is easier to be that way. I always apologize if I happen to get in front of someone inadvertently. It seems like a simple thing to be kind. However one thing I do believe is that the current generation feels very entitled..and that is just one part of it. I am glad you wrote about this even though you stole my idea for a Best Seller..Just kidding Bill.. Great hub.

Bill, Common decency? What's that, something out of the Prehistoric Era? Weren't the cavemen that last ones to use that? It's only for small town usage where people know each other, right? You know you're going to get me started on my Political Correct soapbox here, don't you? lol Okay, I quit. I give up! Laws are necessary because common decency doesn't exist in today's society. That's why I carry a crowbar between my truck seat and door. Someone flips me off and laughs and the crowbar comes up. It's amazing how fast the smiles fade and the car drives away. I think it's the "for every action there is a reaction" concept we were taught in school before they started only trying to teach the things that would get them past the government testing programs. Great job, my friend!

And me

Seriously, Bill thank you for writing this. so very true and must tell you that both my girls know how to say please and thank you even at 2 and 3 years old. Emma didn't say much until she was almost 2 years old by the way (and now at 3 I can't shut her up!), but she knew please and thank you, before you could say much else. Why you ask? Because quite simple I was taught manners growing up and won't have it any other way in our home. So I can truly relate and you couldn't have said it better or been more right in this day and age if you tried. Have of course voted up and shared all over!!

You are a man after my own heart, Bill! I mourn the old days here in the deep south where "southern hospitality" was once well known and in fact was true for the most part. I now avoid places such as WalMart where inconsideration is the norm rather than the exception.

It seems we are rearing our children--some of us at least-- in such a manner where the lives of others is not very important to us any more. More's the pity for all of us! Thanks for the read!!

SSSSS

Excellent hub.. my parents are old school as well so I was taught manners and respect from early on as well. people often tell me that I am too polite.

Great Hub! This is good advice for all of us individually and the world at large. It deserves to be read by far more than the substantial number who will see it here. I agree with you Bill. Every day I witness rude and thoughtless behavior, and agree too that it starts at home, with parents teaching and modeling correct and courteous behavior.

I am with you on this 100% Bill, it is staggering how rude and obnoxious people can be.

Like you, If I behaved that way in my youth I would have been straightened out immediately.

Mark

Well I do think I am unfortunately in a minority with having good manners compared to people my age and younger. I agree that manners start in the home. Can't believe that kid swore at you in your car - just plain rude and uncalled for! Good hub so voting up and sharing too.

I sat for a while here before deciding what to write. In my opinion, rudeness is a type of violence. It is a passive objectifying of another and then a dismissal of that person's right to be respected. If this makes sense to you. If you perceive this as violence, then I posit, that we are becoming more violent as a society in some measure, because we are more accepting of violence in general. It is a type of denial really. We can do violence to another when that person doesn't have feelings, when we objectify. So I think the bigger question here is how do we teach empathy. Just my 2 cents.

Oh yes Billy where has respect and common decency gone???

It costs nothing but this shoulkd be taught at home from a very young age. Sadly this isn't always so.

Thank you once again my dear friend on another wonderful hub. Up up and away here !!!!

Have a great day.

Eddy.

There are many reasons why we are encountering this surge of rudeness and lack of compassion for one another. We are this individualistic society: each of us puts ourselves first before anyone else, and we think that is our right. In actuality, each one of us is here because of the goodness of others, not because "we built it". Is it any wonder that everyone is depressed and anxious? You cannot be happy without compassion and contentment. You're right to call out parents on this issue. My goal every day is to be a model of compassion for my daughter. This isn't because I'm special or smarter than anyone else, I owe it all to others who have shown me that this is the way to happiness and TRUE success in life. You are one of those people who keeps me accountable.

When I went to vote the other day, I had my squirmy two-year-old in my arms. This sounds sexist, and maybe it is, but there were two men in front of me and neither one of them let me go ahead of them in this slow-moving line. Now, I'm not saying that the world should yield to me simply because I have a toddler, but I couldn't help but think that if my dad were in this line and a woman with a baby were behind him that there is no way on earth or any parallel universe that he would have stood there and not let her go ahead of him. That is the difference between your generation and what we're dealing with now. It's scary!

You got me started again, Bill. I'm cutting myself off here. You're awesome.

I doubt that you will be surprised to hear that I have a parallel hub planned for this topic. Stay tuned in the days or week ahead.

Now, you ask for an explanation. I will reveal more in my hub, however, can you spell "lawyers"? We live in a world where arguing legal liability is the most lucrative proffession of all. It is the stuff that our politicians are made of. Need I say more?

The very laws that our country was founded on have been tweaked and twisted to create so many loopholes that no one is held accountable for anything anymore, if they can afford a legal defense. Parents can't even be parents anymoe for fear that their kid will rat them out at school and down comes the social service and legal eagles swooping down on their otherwise normal life. Remember my hub on Aleck Carpitcher? He will die in prison because the system protected a child who lied instead of dealing with the violence and alcohol that caused the problem.

I'll stop before I write my hub here. What I really want to say is that you are not alone in this thought process and you have done a masterful job of showig us all how simple it is or, could be. to live in a world where people respect each other. I love it when you rant my friend because your rants really make a difference.

Hi Bill! I agree that rudeness starts at home, along with everything else. It's a sad state of affairs in our country right now. A lot of people care more about making money or watching the latest reality show than taking time to treat others with respect. Our children pick up on this quickly and now we are seeing the results of the past generation. It's a little frightening. Thanks for writing this powerful piece! Kelley

At the core, people have lost respect for other human beings. Obviously, I think this begins in the home, where parents are the primary teachers of respect and manners. Great hub!

Bill, I don't know for how long the process of losing good manners was under way and it it probably more complicated than it seems on the surface...

For example, I can be rude, I can say "f-k you" occasionally, I can be less than pleasant at home. But there is certain behaviour that I tried to never allow myself in front of my son. I cannot, of course, remember how many times I have slipped, but I judged by him not repeating any of it. He only repeated certain words that grandmother threw at him in her angry outbursts, which he mirrored right back at her. To convince her that it is considered teaching by example was totally futile. Here it is - imitation.

But nobody is immune. Once he started attending school, he brought the whole bouquet of words we don't use at home. And teenagers are probably the rudest category of people. I don't know why.

The standards go down and down and down and we go with them. I think it is degradation of the society in general and we are the first wold country.

I agree that everyone should start with him/herself, but it is so hard to imagine it really happening.

The society have become more barbaric. I, for example, cannot understand how kids/teenagers/young men can sit on a bus if a woman, especially an older woman stands in front of them. When I was growing up, it was unacceptable. At 42, I still have the urge of giving up my seat to an older person.

It would take a whole army of Mothers Theresa to change our society.

Bill, AMEN and ALLELUIA! Last year I had 4 students who were making horrendous gestures toward me out in front of the school. An administrator, who was meeting with the mother of two of the boys in the courtyard at the time, yelled at the boys to stop. The mother laughed about it. It's hard to blame the kids for things when they have parenting like that.

I am so glad that your lovely wife kept you in the car. In this day and age you never know who is going to shoot you OR run over you. Perhaps a better way to handle someone is how my sister has taught me. When someone flips you the bird and/or uses an expletive, flash them a smile, a wave, and say, "Have a good day!" You wouldn't believe how caught off guard they become, and quite often will change their demeanor (rather sheepishly).

Voted up useful and awesome!

Bev made the right call this time. You would have found yourself attempting to converse with the ignorance that originally caused your frustration and that, my friend is a losing battle. You already know the type of home I was raised in so I don't need to go into it. It does, however seem that rudeness and lack of common respect is a dying characteristic. Whether it is due to someones upbringing, modern technology constantly distancing us from one another or just lack of brain cells, it seems to be more consistent.

I will say that I am a believer of getting back what you put out into the world. I already know what you receive as you have demonstrated time and again what a considerate individual you are to others. Now imagine what that mother and son are probably receiving right about now.....

Great write. Voting up and sharing while being very proud to call you my "over the rainbow" friend.

Big big hugs, kisses and laughter to you and Bev.

It seems that people are much more likely to be practicing "Random Acts of Rudeness", rather than Kindness. I applaud your ability (thank you Bev) to not confront the mother/son duo. I"m sure you were correct in assuming that it would have done absolutely no good. Good manners and treating people decently really does start in the home. I have a tween and teen, and if either of them said a curse word in my presence--let alone to another adult---they wouldn't have been laughing for long. Its kind of hard to laugh with a bar of soap jammed down your throat! Oops, did I just write that violent threat?! Ah well...remember, if you can't say something nice--don't say nothin at all.

As I told Effer three months ago, what we need back in society is R-E-S-P-E-C-T....I spelled it for the kids who aren't familiar with the word. When did it disappear Bill? I know you are right because I go shopping and out in public and run into these rude and crass people. Fortunately, my grandchildren are not numbered among them. They have learned respect and care about other people.

I know this is going to get some people up in arms, but I still believe a swat on the behind is one of the best ways to make 'youngins' remember their manners! Please and thank you should be a mantra and being polite is absolutely free so I don't understand why its so hard!

Ok, off my soap box. Great hub Bill filled with truth! Guess we have to let our light shine!

Voted up, useful, awesome, interesting and shared.

I find arrogance to be the basis for rudeness. I believe the hostility that rudeness engenders in most people stems from the realization that rude behavior connotates a sense of superiority in the offender. I doubt the callousness of denigrating another by obscene gestures or language is part of the behavior exhibited when seeing a loved one, a beloved friend or someone a rude individual looks up to, but, rather is reserved for those they don't count as worthy of humane consideration, ie; the elderly, disadvantaged, or anyone they feel able to push around. Though the times have changed, as they always will, respect will always be part of civilized society. It is still appropriate to shake hands as a sign of formal camaraderie and expected at the end of an interview, showing appreciation for a concert, stageplay and even a grade-school production is the norm out of respect for talent, hardwork and dedication to the arts, the courts demand appropriate dress and behavior in, not only the courtroom, but federal buildings, standing when the National Anthem is played is expected as a sign of patriotic respect for America.

As a human being, I am quick to give away a smile, a hand, a kind comment to another human being, regardless of economic status, race, age or sex. I treat others as I want my mother to be treated by everyone. As she has aged, she now has some dementia and is slower to react, easily confused and not always aware of impeding the stampedes at the grocery store. I am dismayed every trip I help her with, be it at the grocery store or doctor's offices, at the degree of impatience, intolerance and rudeness aimed at her. This demeaning fact will not change how I treat others one iota, as I always hope for better by trying to set an positive example for civility and respect. I believe in it, just like you, Bill, 100 percent.

There has been a lot of problems with rudeness over the past couple of decades. Like begets like. I just hope that things will turn around soon.

Bill, in a world in which we can often feel we have little control, the one thing each of us can change often gets neglected. On a personal level, manners and respect for others are within everyone's grasp, if we choose to make a little effort. However, I think the issues behind the eroding of common values in society is wide and far reaching, and therefore resolving such issues is a complex matter. However, I do agree that teaching our children the importance of values and respect for others is of paramount importance, as I believe that when we are children we learn to become respectful of others.

Great hub Bill, thanks for sharing :-))

Hi Bill,

I kept Nodding in Agreement as I read your Wonderful Hub. We live today in a Very Rude Society. Why? I'm not sure. I too was brought up to say, "Please & Thank You" along with Values and Self Respect. In turn, when I married and had Sons, these rules were passed onto them. I used to say, "Think Twice before you say something that will Hurt the other person". Rudeness is a Form of Mental Violence...It can tricker so much. I too, am Glad you didn't get out of the Car...God knows what could have happened to you.

We just had an Election and look at all the Rudeness that went on...And TV...Don't get me started. Sad to say, We need to change, but sadly I don't know how that will happen in our Life time.

Yesterday a third grader snapped her fingers at me and got sassy. I had a very difficult time not yelling at her, but I realized I needed to be better than that! You're right, though. Good, old fashioned politeness is lacking.

We did not get snow. But sadly, the areas that were hit the hardest received a large amount. NY City, Long Island, New Jersey all got dumped on.

Hey Billy - I am, once again not receiving e-mails letting me know about hubs and comments. Are you experiencing this as well? Just curious.

Hi Bill,

"Dial down your ego and dial up your humility" Amen my friend!

There is no excuse for treating others rudely and with disrespect. Parents should set a good example. There are many parents out there who treat their children like little gods who can do no wrong. They are never corrected because it would hurt their self esteem. Bunch of crap as far as I am concerned.

Voted up and away!

Have a good evening my friend :)

Thank you for this. All these words and nothing screams as loudly as,"The only way for me to change this world is to be a living example of that which I desire to see."

Billy it's a crazy old world out there, Bev did the right thing by stopping you. When we confront such people, we can never tell how they will react. It is good to get you point over, but better safe than a trip to the emergency room.

We were in the parking lot one day driving out, two women were walking in front of our car they would not get off to the side and they walked as slow as they could. We couldn't run over them. After we finally got past them my husband looked in the mirror and said they were laughing their heads off. Grown women acting like this.

I called Kohls couple nights ago over a problem I had and the girl on the phone was rude. Yesterday when I was in Kohls a young girl waited on me at the check out she also talked rude to me. Finally I said to her " Do phones get answered here in the evening." I pretty much thought this was the same girl the voice was the same. I was trying to get her to say she answered phones at night. She didn't tell me that but her attitude changed very fast. She must have thought I was going to turn her in.

It's just as easy to be nice as it is to be rude. If they would only realize how much further they would get in life by being nice.

Many of the parents of the teens now days use that F word in their home everyday. The movies have gotten so bad you can't watch them. There are no words just FFF.

I don't know when it happened or why, but I know that it is a growing cancer in this country and I am as tired as you are of RUDENESS! Somehow it has become uncool to be polite and respectful. I sometimes wonder what that rude person will be like in 30 years. How do they expect to deal with the world? I'm sure they haven't even considered such a thing.

I was brought up like you in the same era. We took our cue from our parents and what we saw on TV. I think the same is true today--consider what shows are popular on TV today. What about the movies?! I like your rant, I can definitely identify! Voted Up, Way Up

Rude drivers have been a thorn in my side for a while. I even mentioned them in particular, in my "Complaint Dept." hub....come to think of it, we're all entitled to a "rant," now and then...especially amongst friends of like-minds.

It's good Bev stopped you. Crazy people do crazy things, bill. If he'll hang out a window and scream profanities at an adult stranger, what else is he capable of? I can't imagine a MOTHER laughing WITH her son for such disrespectful behavior......but hey, at least that EXPLAINS IT!

The only way I can see to fix this mess we've become....is to STOP it by fighting against it with good...& kindness, tolerance and "example."

Surely, not to the point of being beaten and steamrolled daily.....but to simply take every opportunity to pass on what was passed to us, by parents who loved us enough to raise us WELL.

Somewhere along the way, too many veered off course.....they need to be guided back on.......UP+++

Your story is what is being repeated across the nation, Bill. People do not respect others as they should. Sorry, you were treated so rudely. In my college classes I have students who use filthy language, dirty jokes, make fun of other students -- without thinking about who is able to hear them, these are sometimes girls by the way. It is something I have to deal with, and like you, I am getting fed up with it. It's a tough job, but if we start where we are and do it one by one, we can make a difference.

Bill - My brothers and sisters were raised like you were -- properly. But things seem to have been going downhill for quite some time now. I agree with you and appreciate your rant and I agree with many of the comments about fear, anger, our litigious society...but still, being courteous and treating people decently is a choice we make and we first learn to make that choice at home. Excellent Hub. Please never stop ranting. ~~Theresa

Had to share this one. Awesome hub! This is one of my pet peeves. There are too many rude people in this world Bill. I'm sadly not surprised that the mother and son laughed after he said that. I remember how upset my father was once was when he held the door for a lady and she pushed him out of the way and snarled at him that she could hold the door herself. He was upset for days. I get annoyed when people don't give me a courtesy wave if I let them in front of my car in traffic. A little thing I know, but it all adds up. Thanks for writing this!

Couldn't agree with you more, Billy, especially when it comes to customer service these days. I've noticed a general malaise at best, downright rudeness at worst, among employees at grocery stores, restaurants and other customer-service oriented businesses. Texting, talking on the phone, dancing to music, complaining about their jobs, gossiping about co-workers - none of it is professional and all of it is annoying!!!!

Bill, first I must say, I am absolutely appalled by the mother and son sharing a laugh over his (and her) unscrupulous behavior! She does not deserve the honor of being a Mother, Muthu maybe, but Mother - no way!

Secondly, in the times in which we are living today, we have all the more reason to be courteous and respectful of others. We are all suffering hard times. Kindness goes a long way. Ingracious, irrespectful treatment merely rubs salt into the already deep wounds.

I'm so fortunate to have been born in the 50's. Manners, respect, self-respect, gratitude and kindness were taught along with learning how to hold a spoon and tie our shoes.

God help the future if today's youth is any indication of the direction leadership will take!

I am well, Bill. Taking a day off from droll writing to catch up on my love: HP and my friends.

Great Hub. Touched home - my parents were old school - I learned - please, thank-you, & your welcome. The Navy taught me more courtesy. I wrote a Hub - THE BUSINESS OF BEING FANTASTIC - which relates to Customer Service where I have worked in for many years. This world has some very sick souls out there and many find their way to us. Great Article.