Why are some people HOT—and some people NOT?

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   Jacqueline4390posted 9 years ago

   
   Is it genetic programming, charisma or highly developed “people skills” that make some people human magnets and other people human repellants?

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   firstdayposted 9 years ago

   self confidence and poise are magnets

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This sounds like a byproduct of highly developed "people skills." Do you think it is possible to have self confidence and poise and NOT have highly developed people skills?

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         Kathryn L Hillposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I know when a person has love in their hearts no matter how they "seem"… (when not particularly charming.)
         But, I don't always know when they don't, (have love in their hearts.)
         I am easily tricked by sheer charm. And yes, some people have charm without being particularly loving types of people.
         ...and that is odd to me.

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            Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I agree that charm can be captivating. One thing to note is that if it is not real ... the person will eventually let his/her guard down. If an individual can be patient; the true colors will show. It is only when we get in a hurry that we get fooled. This is what those charmers count on.

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         firstdayposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Jacqueline4390  anything is possible

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            Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            This is true.

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         savvydatingposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         It is possible to have poise without confidence. Poise is a learned habit. But your question is not about poise, charm or people skills. Rather, your question is about being "hot."  "Hot" has to do with having sex appeal. That's a difficult thing to pinpoint exactly, in that one can be confident and poised, but not particularly "hot" per se. That being said, confidence in one's sex appeal (for whatever reason) goes a long, long way. However, not all "hot" people are "charming.". In essence, "hotness" has to do with both raw and refined sex-appeal. There is an honesty to having sex appeal. It just exists; it is out there, and it is difficult to hide because it "sexually" charges the air it emcompasses. Hotness is a rare quality, which is why it's pretty much impossible to resist. I will say, however, that true hotness is not vulgar. Vulgarity is really rather benal.

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            Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Very interesting. Perhaps it is true in the remedial sense that hotness refers to a dynamic sexual appeal but I was reaching beyond that boundary. I was looking more to why some people seem to be "IN" or why some people are able to attract a wider spectrum of people while others ... try as they might don't seem to have the dynamics that "Win people."
            
            Example: One individual calls a meeting and practically everyone attends but another person calls the same type of meeting a month later and no one attends even though the meeting is a required follow-up.
            
            If my question is misleading, I do apologize. I am not referring to sexual appeal but people appeal in my reference to "hotness" ... I repeat. :-)

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               savvydatingposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I see. I wondered why you chose the picture of business people. You were thinking "hot" commodity, I suppose. Well, in that case, it has a lot to do with natural charisma, charm and humor, in my opinion. So, everyone here is on the right track. I was off track. Lol.

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                  Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  I appreciated your comments. Yes, I had hoped that my photo would shed some light on what my perceptions were. I thank you most graciously for your comments and value the opinions of each and everyone that takes the time to comment.

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      retief2000posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Cary Grant was an awkward, cockney, boy with little formal education and poor on screen presence. He said he decided to change all of that, he did. Larry Byrd sounded like a hick from my home state of Indiana, he decided to change that and hired a speech coach to help him gain more confidence speaking. He didn't lose the Hoosier twang but he vastly improved his speaking skills.
      
      It can be done. People can become more than they ever thought they could be.

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         firstdayposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         retief2000 sounds like you know a bit on that subject…I would love to read a hub on it.

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         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for those wonderful examples.
         
         So would I be correct in deducing that there are actually two types of successful or "hot" people. Those who have a natural inane ability to succeed and those through perseverance achieve status? And, of course sometimes those with natural ability will do what it takes to expound on it.
         
         If I may be so bold as to reference the one with five talents gained five more. The one with two talents gained two more but the one with one talent hid it and as a result his one talent was given to the individual that had ten.

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            retief2000posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I doubt that the ability to succeed is innate, instead, I think it is a matter of striving for a desired outcome. The specific accomplishment one might identify as success varies by individual. Pope Francis, Steve Jobs, Payton Manning and J.J Abrams would all define the specific means by which they have achieved success or some modicum of success, as successful people are often modest in claiming success, entirely differently each from the others, yet, each has been successful.
            
            I suspect that success is more process than accomplishment.

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               Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Success is what YOU define it to be!
               Success is being happy with your life!
               Success is knowing yourself and how YOU fit into the big picture!
               
               This is a sign that I made for myself and keep it over my main computer. It helps me to remember never ever to compare myself with anyone else. I think that success can both an accomplishment and a process. It can be a means as well as an end and as you say ... depending on the person.

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   firstdayposted 9 years ago

   I did not think you were referring to sexual appeal.  No worries…and you did say, "or highly developed people skills"  so that is why I went with poise and confidence.  Maybe you are asking why some people are natural leaders…not sure if that is what you are going for…if so I think enthusiasm is a good trait and people skills or not enthusiasm and wit go a long way.

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you firstday ... I believe this is more in line with what I am talking about. There are people who seem to gravitate to others. Those people who have a little "something" about them that you just naturally want to hear what they are saying ... you are excited about them. Then there are others who the minute they start to get up ... you begin to start looking in your purse for the cell phone or IPad and start playing "Candy Crush" until its over. That's what I mean.
      
      I really appreciate you not thinking I was talking about sex. Kudos to ya'

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