Where has social manners or common courtesy gone?

1. 67

   tamsing4himposted 15 years ago

   Where has social manners or common courtesy gone?
   
   I've noticed over the last two decades, our social manners have declined tremendously.  I still say 'excuse or pardon me' when walking by someone, and if an elderly person is approaching an entrance, I will open and 'hold' the door for them.
   My concern is younger children, teens, and adults who do not afford the same respect to others.  What are we teaching our children?

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2. 60

   kgnatureposted 15 years ago

   I know what you mean!  I'm no expert, but I see two factors at play here. 
   
   Kids are indulged more than they used to be.  I hesitate to say "spoiled" because I hate that word, but kids are indulged to the point where they get an exaggerated idea of the importance of themselves, and begin to think that the world revolves around their every whim.  Everyone else if peripheral  and unimportant. 
   
   The second factor that stands out is the fact that we don’t seem to have time to teach and train our children.  In most families today both parents work, and for many families this is necessary to get by.  But on top of that, parents are urged to take more time for themselves.  We are urged to join health clubs, volunteer organizations, and other groups that take even more time away from our children.  I’m not saying that time for yourself isn’t important, but there should be limits, and family time is more important than anything else you can give your child.

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3. 68

   Torch Harrisonposted 15 years ago

   We're not teaching manners as a society.  Not often, anyhow.
   
   I've got kids and I always made sure that I modeled manners in front of my children.  "Excuse me, Pardon me, Thank you" are all utilized in my family...and proper behavior is insisted upon. 
   
   I find that many parents I see of 'yuppie' status seem to have an 'entitled' attitude...their kids don't say anything except "I want..." or "get me...."  And I see where they get the attitude from when I meet the parents.  It's "me first, I'm important, pay attention to me"  like nobody else matters.  A real nice example of this is the old 'Kate + 8' trainwreck...watch Kate and Jon Gosselin and their kids and notice how often both parents fail to model good behavior or social graces.  I don't think Ms. Kate realizes that when her children hit the teen years, she's going to pay for encouraging that 'entitled' attitude...but then, you can't tell her anything, from what I've read.
   
   I was always taught that in order to get respect, you have to be respectful of others...and a huge part of that is manners.  Both of my children exhibit behavior in public that I am extremely proud of...they are respectful and thoughtful people because I emphasized that as being important.
   
   And just an observation...food for thought here....on occasion, I've had the pleasure to interact with a fair amount of Canadians.  Their outlook is 'community first', not 'me first' as it is here in America.  Thinking about others is encouraged, not ignored as being provincial and backward.  Maybe if we got back to our small town roots, where being a part of a community takes the focus off ourselves and on others, we can get back to manners in this country.
   
   I'm glad you do your part and you're not alone...but I know what you mean, it sure feels like it sometimes!

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4. 67

   tamsing4himposted 15 years ago

   I agree!  I find myself longing for that Ozzie & Harriet era, and I'm not even that old!
   
   Our country feels so "entitled" there's barely a shred of community left.

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5. 61

   terced ojosposted 15 years ago

   I witness common courtesy everyday. People hold the door for me and I hold the door for people.
   
   If there is a woman standing somewhere and I am sitting I offer her my seat. Not in any sexist way mind you.  It's just how I was taught. Besides women usually work three times as hard as men so she's probably earned the seat.
   
   I have sons ranging in age from 15 to 5 and all them are gentleman and have inherited through osmosis manners and common courtesy.  Quick with a please and thank you and also thoughtful and courteous.
   
   I will admit I don't see these traits in their friends.  I imagine these things are not being taught nowadays as they once were.

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