If you were to choose between "being nice" and "being truthful", which one would you choose?
Always an extremely honest, open and upfront person, "truth," as I view it, is first and foremost. There is no reason why an intelligent, mature and diplomatic person cannot be truthful as well as nice.
No matter our words or actions, it is the perception of the "other" person that determines their translation and reaction in the end anyway. Don't you think? I do.
I believe every individual has had an experience or two where they have chosen their words carefully and delivered a message most kindly......but the receiver took serious offense. The opposite can be observed as well. Someone may be very nasty or cruel in relating a message or asking a question....and the receiver has little or no reaction whatsoever. He/she simply does not allow these things to disturb them.
It requires a bit of thoughtfulness to deliver the hard core truth of a matter and yet do it with compassion for a person's emotions. It can be done.
A lie...or even simply dancing around the truth (which is also a form of deception) is not acceptable. Lies are always uncovered sooner or later. Liars are not believed nor respected in the long haul. Eventually liars lose credibility and are no longer "trusted."
We also have a choice to remain silent......not a bad idea sometimes. I would suggest that anyone who cannot be "truthful" as well as "nice".....simply reserve comment.
I say all of this assuming we are not discussing heated arguments or hostile issues. Under those circumstances, words and attitudes are not controlled and few people use discretion......I think that's why we call them "FIGHTS." Fights are part of life. Hopefully apologies and peace follow................Good question, Sundeep.
I have always been a very blunt, straight forward type of person & I don't candy coat things & sometimes it may not always come across as nice, but that's just my personality.
When choosing between being nice and being truthful I usually choose being truthful. I don't like to lie. So I tell the truth to the person in the nicest way I can think of. Being nice can hurt the person you were being nice to. Besides the people that lie to be nice also tend to be the same people that gossip. They lie to the person and then say bad things about the person when that person is not around.
If someone asks me if they look fat I am going to tell them the truth. I don't lie and then say bad things about them to other people. In my opinion most people that are being nice by lying are just trying to avoid conflict. They are not really being nice.
I try to be nice while being truthful. But, if it is a situation in which I feel the other party may not understand tactful language, I'll ask right up front: "Do you want me to be polite, or honest?" LOL
by Choke Frantic 8 years ago
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