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People and Their Umbrellas
People and Their Umbrellas
Just to be clear about something right from the start – I don’t hate people with umbrellas, I despise them! Many of you are probably wondering why this is so, and I’ll be more than happy to explain…
As soon as it starts to rain and it happens that I have to leave my house for any reason, I remember the infamous “umbrellars” that will not only heart my body, but also my sanity. Before going into any details, I’d like to tell you something about myself. I’m a person who never uses an umbrella because I feel that it is redundant. Unless you live in an area where it rains all the time and you have no place to go after the rain and dry off, an umbrella is just something that irritates many people like me. I really don’t understand why so many people are acting as if they were made out of sugar and fear the rain so much… So you’ll get a little wet – big deal. It’s not like you will disintegrate and cease to be when you get wet.
Now it is time to talk about the real problem I have with “umbrellars”. If you really think about it, there is no way that you haven’t experienced a random person in the rain with an umbrella who is absolutely oblivious of the world around him or her. These “umbrellars” walk like they own the pavement with their usually too big “devices from hell” and poke and stab each and every innocent passerby. I was poked in my eye so many times that I started wearing protective goggles when it rains, instead of carrying around an umbrella – and the goggles proved to be far more efficient!
I can’t help but wonder if these “umbrellars” do everything they do by accident or whether they have become a movement of people who hate us “anti-umbrellars” and are doing everything in their power to get rid of us. However, the thing is that there isn’t a simple solution to the problem of “umbrellars”… I have tried reasoning with some of them, I have tried yelling in the middle of the street, I’ve even tried carrying an umbrella myself and poking them on purpose – which was a bad idea considering that there are a lot of “umbrellars” and too little of us, normal people… Alas, nothing seemed to work.
Therefore, there is only one thing left to do – kill all the “umbrellars”! No, no, no, I’m only kidding… or am I? I’m probably kidding because that would be too cruel. However, if we “anti-umbrellars” keep doing nothing about it and keep tolerating the rudeness of these unbelievable people, we will definitely be defeated. So, the best thing to do is to avoid the “umbrellars” completely and to try and explain the world that they are the root of all our problems, or at least the root of the majority of our problems. We all need to understand that we’re not alone in the world and we all need to learn to respect others. I know I have learned to do this, and know it’s time for the “umbrellars” to do the same.