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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
10 Signs He's Not Husband Material
There are many women in their late 20s and early 30s that tie the knot. They are at a point in their lives where they want to move forward with the next step in their relationship and be committed to the one man that makes them the happiest they’ve ever been. Someone they can trust, confide in, count on, and so forth. But beware! There are also many guys out there in their 30s and even 40s, that proclaim to want the same things, but their actions say otherwise! It can be VERY devastating/heart wrenching for a woman to have to stop themselves in their tracks and carry on without that person whom they thought they were going to spend the rest of their lives with. As much as you would love to see things work out between the two of you, it is best to first sift out these red flags that indicate Mr. Right is actually disguised as Mr. Wrong.
1. When he acts like a child. I don’t mean when he screams and shouts when he doesn’t get his way. I mean when he has to constantly be reminded of things because he doesn’t actually mentally process what you are saying and understand the importance of it. I’m not talking about laundry or cutting the grass, I’m referring to how to dress for a job interview, how to properly wash dishes, etc. All of the basic things that he should already know how to do. You shouldn’t have to be after him to get things done. You are not his mother and this is what many refer to as “Peter Pan syndrome.”
2. When he can’t hold a job. We all know good jobs are hard to come by these days. Not everyone loves their job and they have the option to do something about it or stay where they’re at. But there are those people out there who don’t like being told what to do or how to do things and they get fed up and quit. Even without having a back-up plan! But if he keeps hoping from job to job every few weeks, something is really wrong and you might want to get to the bottom of it and see what it is that is really going on. I know from personal experience because I called the company my ex claimed to work for and they said they never heard of him!
3. He can’t be trusted because of his lies. Without trust there is no us and if someone is looking for a partner to settle down with, Pinocchio isn’t one of those people to consider. Making up stories and having to play private investigator should not be things you need to invest your time into with someone whom you thought was going to be a part of your life forever.
4. When he is no longer interested in heat between the sheets. After the “honeymoon” phase of the relationship is over, your honey might not be so into it as you would like them to be. They make excuses for not wanting to have sex and say they’re tired or just want to relax and there is lack of intimate connection.
5. Takes you for granted. You ever feel like you give and give and give and get nothing in return? No emotional support, no appreciation for random acts of kindness, etc. This point basically speaks for itself. This ties into the saying, “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.”
6. Possessive to the point of entrapment. First off, possessiveness has tedious meaning because some levels are normal as opposed to the whole feeling like a prisoner. If you’re going out having a girls night and he is constantly texting/calling you, that isn’t allowing time out for yourself. Maybe he is insecure? Maybe he is doing something he knows that he should not be doing and he’s keeping constant contact with you to make sure your feelings for him are the same because once you find out, it will leave a messy situation when it’s time for confrontation. Or even when you are at work and you have a lot to do yet your phone keeps vibrating every few minutes and its him, even though he knows where you are. That can make a person irritated depending on what type of work you do.
7. You keep wishing he possessed the qualities of other people you know. When you have a man like Al Bundy and daydream about the movie The Notebook, you need to evaluate your feelings and remind yourself that there is better for you out there. You are not legally bonded to this guy! And quite frankly, this is usually when the woman strays and gets their needs met elsewhere. She doesn’t feel the closeness and intimacy nor attention and feels better when she is desired, which also ties into #4.
8. When he doesn’t respect your child. Obviously this only applies to the women who are single mothers. When you decide to bring a man around your child/children on a regular basis and they try to take over as the role of dad, put the brakes on! You raised your child before you even knew this man existed. To have him ‘take over’ as if he has say in discipline and everything else is a no-no. It may be different if you were with the man for a while and he was HELPING only when YOU say you need help, but to always yell and play favorites isn’t a good thing. Some guys compete for attention and always want attention, but he needs to understand that your child needs attention too and that they come first. If that isn’t understood and no respect is shown, I highly doubt that dating this guy will lead to a happy marriage.
9. When you keep giving chances and he blows them everytime! You hate to see him go because of the history you’ve had, or the future plans you’ve wanted to make. He also apologized and shed tears saying he wouldn’t do that again. He is ok for a while….then boom! He jeopardized your relationship yet again! We all know that everyone has their breaking point. Enough will be enough when you say it’s enough.
10. His family and friends distanced themselves from him. They’ve known him way longer than you have known him so if he has no one, you’ll wonder why. Are they crazy, or is he? Eventually, all will reveal so I hope he avoids #3!
Do What Is Best For YOU
It is really hard to find a partner that truly suits you, but it definitely is NOT IMPOSSIBLE! Many people stay with a man they are unhappy with solely because of the time invested in that person and all of the good memories you’ve shared and are afraid to let go. But in the end, only you are responsible for your own happiness and when one door closes, another one opens. The RIGHT man should just add to your sparkle. There are many hardworking women and single moms out there, the last thing we need is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.